Zygna's Mark Pincus losing a game of cards to a dog.

Having a good panic attack over San Francisco's burgeoning population of mouth-breathing code-jocks has long been a favorite pastime of San Francisco's dwindling population of mouth-breathing art-jocks. Whether its paying $4 for toast, calling out a bunch of bitches for being 4s, or sending our rents out of orbit, there has always been plenty of material to work with when it comes to tearing down Joe Shuttlebus.

But no one quite does feverish outrage like a blue-blooded bag of bones.  And while San Francisco's withering crop of old money socialites have long kept their outrage over the recent invasion of cretinous tech money to whispers, Vanity Fair was finally able to get some Pac Heights lifetime retirees to unleash an elegant torrent of hate on their new neighbors:

“They bore the hell out of me,” San Francisco society doyenne Denise Hale tells [Vanity Fair contributing editor Evgenia Peretz] of the Silicon Valley transplants. “They’re one-dimensional and can only talk about one thing. I’m used to brilliant men in my life who leave their work, and they have many other interests. New people eventually will learn how to live. When they learn how to live, I would love to meet them.” An exception, Hale says, is Yahoo C.E.O. Marissa Mayer: “Marissa is something which I like. Marissa has a handsome husband, in love, beautifully dressed, a lady. I don’t go for this slob culture—leave me alone.”

Not only are they, like, a total bore, but they apparently cannot spend their skrillions to society's standards:

Despite astronomical real-estate prices in Pacific Heights, [Trevor Traina] describes his friends’ Gold Coast properties as fixer-uppers. Of the Pincuses 11,500-square-foot Dutch Colonial Revival–style house, bought for $16 million in August, he says: “Their house needs a lot of work but also has superb potential, so I’m really excited for them.” As for David Sacks, who spent $20 million in September on a 17,500-square-foot mansion and 6,000-square-foot guesthouse, next to the Pincuses: “It’s hollow, but it has superb potential.”

The entire play-by-play of San Francisco's booming money fight is only available in Vanity Fair's latest print issue, which you can presumably buy somewhere. In the meantime, their entire preview is one unintentionally hilarious read.

[via The Awl]