I walked into Shotwell's last night shortly after tweeting that someone was willing to give The Bay Citizen $300 if I bartended without my shirt on, which was an obvious attempt to subvert my sex life but whatever, and was immediately told that “Neither you, nor Zach, nor Kristen, nor anyone can do this without their shirt on.”  So, my dreams of making Shotwell's into an unattractive hipster Coyote Ugly for a night is shattered, but we'll still be raising 'mad money' for The Bay Citizen, because if they keep paying their CEO $400,000 a year, they're going to go broke.  We'll also be chanting BEAT LA until the Celtics take home the gold and then my inner Boston will come out.  See you at 8pm!

The Dirty:
Thursday, June 17th, 8pm-11
Shotwell's
3349 20th St. @ Shotwell, 94110

There's also a facebook thingy here but whatever.

The Bay Citizen is the Bay's latest non-profit journalistic enterprise and we wanted to welcome them to the neighborhood and try to make amends. Therefore, we'll be guest bartending and raising funds for The Bay Citizen THIS THURSDAY (the 17th) at Shotwell's from 8-11pm. That's right, all the tip money you give us as you get sloppy off Shotwell's selection of delicious beer will go straight to helping The Bay Citizen stay in business. For every $200 we raise, we cover the CEO's salary for an entire hour OR pay one of their bloggers to write 8 posts!

Alternatively, if you would rather just drink with us at Shotwell's but not give The Bay Citizen any money, you can just give Shotwell's staff all your tip money after 11pm. Aren't you a nice person!

See you there!

The Dirty:
Thursday, June 17th, 8pm-11
Shotwell's
3349 20th St. @ Shotwell, 94110

There's also a facebook thingy here but whatever.

24th is the best place for Soccer.

If you want to start a race war, rooting for South Africa tomorrow at 7am in the Mission is probably the most effective way to make that happen.  But if you just want to get drunk, watch an event as rare as a leap year and join in some global brotherhood, fill that flask full of tequila and/or strawberry smoothies (Cape Town has the most wonderful strawberry smoothies) and slosh around the Mission.  Chavitas #2 on 24th is probably a solid bet for continuing your thursday night bender/starting your bar crawl.  It's the best unpretentious breakfast place in the Mission, has plenty of beer to compliment your free chips and salsa and has a nice tube of a television.  Considering this place is always dead when I go there, I have no idea if it will actually be packed or not, but whatever.  The food is awesome and there is beer.

From there, you should ditch your weapons on the curb and head to El Trebol on 22nd and Capp.  The security guard will feel you up, which may tickle but deal with it, and you can order a bucket of Corona for PBR prices while getting hustled at pool.  Best of all is that you can urinate/puke/shit on my stoop afterwards.  It's a win-win for everybody.

Or you can just read Mission Loc@l and find out where you can rail lines while “watching” soccer.  I kid.  Delirium sounds like a great soccer venue.

After the security guards graciously informed me that “Sir, you're standing in the middle of the street,” they went on to tell me that this was in fact an open and operating Escape From New York Pizza during the day.

Seriously? Just how fucking big is it in there??  As crackin as the scene may have been, I didn't pay the cover to find out.

And so I invite you, dear readers, to caption this photo.  Here are a few to start you off.

 a.) Two topping minimum.

b.) Cover costs more than a slice.

c.) Greasiest stripper poles on the West Coast.

d.) (…fill in the blank with your comment…)

 a.) Two topping minimum.

b.) Cover costs more than a slice.

c.) Greasiest stripper poles on the West Coast.

d.) (…fill in the blank with your comment…)