— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
What the goddamn fuck is that? Well, dearest readers, that is the “Soulrrito,” a would-be burrito jammed pack with a revolting medley of unrelated foodstuffs, including “salsa-infused macaroni and cheese, tri tip beef, collard greens, and yams.” It will begin torturing Mission District digestive systems tomorrow.
According to The Bold Italic (who broke the news of this, because of course The Bold Italic broke the news of this):
[The] Soulrrito will be sold for one day only at the 24th Street location of Papalote Mexican Grill. The limited item is a collaboration between owner Miguel Escobedo (aka DJ Mr. E) and Pam the Funkstress, DJ for The Coup, afternoon mixer on KBLX, and owner of Piccadilly Catering and Restaurant in Foster City. […]
The Soulrrito will be available from 11 a.m. until they sell out and are priced at $11.25; Escobedo is also making a vegetarian version with Soyrizo for $9.10.
Our head is reeling with questions. Why is this $11.25? Will there be vomit buckets on site? Will the collard greens be airlifted directly into the Mission from Louisiana much like our famed stock of day-old New York bagels? Is this just some anti-capitalist prank from Boots Riley?
No matter. Prank or not, the Sushiritto and the Soulrrito prove burrito hacking is clearly The Next Big Thing. So be on the lookout for our forthcoming pop-up “Pizzawizritto”: a pizza-wrapped burrito covered in cheez-whiz, served on a caviar and bacon-rimmed plate, and delicately seasoned with the tears of the Local’s Corner guy.
Comments (22)
Other than the price, why the outrage? ZOMG people are putting non-traditional foods into a tortilla.
Kevin is outraged that his people’s cuisine - the one he’s been eating for nearly 5 years now - is being “ruined.”
I know you love nothing more than to troll me, but you’re inaccurately claiming I’m saying the burrito is “mine,” vs. the ingredients that’d make a perfectly good burrito themselves are being ruined.
And I’ve been eating them for far more than 5 years.
Congrarats on the new job,! Hope you keep this blog local and happening.
To be fair, it does sound fairly disgusting. I’d purchase one if it came from a food cart at 2am, not that we have food carts in this city. Or maybe at a fair
11.25? Really?
What do you expect from papalote? That place is as white-people-Mexican-restaurant as it gets in the mish (I mean, we’re not the marina. Yet.)
You are dumb and wrong.
You may have forgotten about Tacolicious.
FYI nearly 20 million white people live in Mexico.
Everything about this is gross and dumb and wrong. Ugh.
Shit! If they serve enough of this burrito, we won’t be allowed to eat real burritos any more!
Step 1: Soulrrito!
Step 2: BURRITOS ARE OUTLAWED THROUGHOUT THE LAND
Step 3: Uptown Almanac starves to death :”””(
I ate mac-n-cheese burritos 10 years ago. I came home drunk one night and had little else in the house so I whipped up a burrito with what was available. It cost me less than a buck and really hit the spot. Would I eat one again? Definitely. Would I go out and actually buy one? For $11.25?! You’ve got to be kidding!
But it doesn’t take a genius to see there are a lot of folks in San Francisco with a lot more dollars than sense.
Years ago up in Humbodlt I lived with an old Mexican dude who ate tortillas with everything, he called it brown guy bread. Since the I have tried just about everything wrapped in them, including pickled herring.
They get one think right. Mac n cheese is great with salsa.
20-somethings must have have excellent metabolism. This is disgusting.
I might have to wipe my fanny with a tortilla every now and then if I run out of TP but that doesn’t mean I’ve created a new dish worth $12.
Why not just hand out mini cups of Crisco with a spoon and call it Angiorito?
You had me until Pam the Funkstress. If she’s involved, it’s legit.
I would have eaten the veggie version.
I wonder if they charged extra for the rat poop…https://101g-xnet.sfdph.org:4443/pls/eeop_htmldb/f?p=132:2:3250258091758…
Don’t put us on blast!!!!
I remember green and orange colored tortillas filled with grilled chicken Caesar salad in the mid-90s so this is nothing new. It’s called a “wrap”. In Sunnyvale, CA there’s a place that makes wraps with Angus steak, Spanish Paella w shrimp and saffron rice, grilled salmon w wasabi mayo n cucumber, thai chicken, Tikka Masala and Caribbean pulled pork. After you try a few of these you realize how dull burritos are with chicken, pinto beans and mexican spices.