♥♥ Download the Official Uptown Almanac Valentine ♥♥

Can't make it to the store? Don't have time to DIY? Let Uptown Almanac do the wooing this year, with our very first official valentine. And with his cherubic good looks and voice of an angel, we can think of no better Cupid to sling our arrows than KRON's own Stanley Roberts.

So get out there and get romancin'! Share this sexy card with that special someone you may or may not have just met at the Google bus stop since that Refinery 29 article came out.

Comments (15)

This is either the best or the worst valentine I’ve ever seen. I think I’ll go run some stop signs on my bicycle until I can figure it out.


Let the record show that I earned the coveted triple Funny! from Robin.

Love feels like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.

Are all of your comments going to quote Slavoj Žižek, Mr. Hogan?

I went to my favorite truck stop today in order to receive some sweet loving in the men’s washroom area, but alas to my surprise, nothing. Valentine’s Day sucks! :(

uh… since when did UA commenters decide novelty accounts were a thing here?

I don’t know, but i’m fucking pissed! I’m gonna get some black-bloc folks together, and we’re gonna take this shit to the streets! You with me, fam? Attica! Attica! Attica!

It’s just well … you know … the whole post is … well - sexy.

I just heard your favorite valentine say that Bicycle people are the same as dog people.

Wa you think of that

@pinche: nice attempt to troll this thread and take my comment out of context. That comment you’re referring to was in reference to the level of nasty grams I receive from dog people, they are on par from the ones I get from bicycle people.

Thanks for clarifying. It was bad listening skills, not trolling that caused the confusion.

How about cat and scooter people? How do they compare?