Pets & Animals

The Signage at Ricos Tacos is Fucking Disturbing

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I’ve walked past this place countless times over the years but just today noticed how fucking creepy this piece is.  It starts off alright: some chef-pig elated with whatever he’s cooking up.  What’s he cooking up?  Other pigs, of course.  This Jabba the Hutt looking pig appears to have just received the best fuck of its life as it lays spread eagle on the grill.  Then this other pig is cutting up another pig with some gardening tools.

Look, I know not everyone in this world is blessed with the delicious diet of the vegetarian, but does swine cannibalism really make anyone hungry?

Pet some adorable baby goats tomorrow morning!

— By Jane Parton |

Tomorrow is San Francisco’s first-ever Goat Festival!

From 10am to 1pm at the Ferry Building, you’ll find free samples of delicious goat products (yogurt, cheese, even ice cream!) lectures and cooking demos and, most importantly, a petting zoo full of adorable baby goats. I cannot tell you how psyched I am for this. I mean come on, baby goats are so much more fun than a zipline.

Things We Don't Hate: Bro Cats

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Apparently the doucheoisie over at Hipster Puppies got a book deal.  Our newest hater/Uptown Almanazzi Zach smelled money and created BRO CATS.   We at Uptown Almanac are committed to landing BRO CATS on the New York Times Bestsellers list (and every Marina coffee table) before Hipster Puppies can sue our asses off.

“O hai bro, wanna go halfsies on a bag of cat-nip?” ~Bro Cat

1.) Bro Cat likes to tell all the girls that he surfs, but is really too scared to go in the water.

2.) Bro Cat got so wasted last night that he was coughing up hair balls all morning.

3.) Bro Cat gets hella pussies.

(link)

Bees Descend Upon 18th and Dolores

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Erica says:

The air was filled with thousands of bees and the buzzing was so loud I could hear them from my the apartment. Now they’re building a nest in my backyard. Yippee.

If you’re allergic, you might want to steer clear of Dolores Park over the next few day.  Or don’t.  I’ll just steal your beer when you go into shock and they take you away in an amberlamps.

Bro Teaches Dog to Skateboard in the Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

You can file this one under “cool shit that would be cooler if Kevin had a real camera.”  The rest of the video came out worse, but you can see what is going on here.  Not pictured is the epic crowd and the dog growling at another dog who checked out the skateboard to the delight of the entire crowd.

Just pretend that there is a punk track in the background and a fisheye lens and you’ll be there.

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