'mnstrm media'

'Mommy PI' Boss arrested with Contra Costa's Top Narc for (shocker) ... selling drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

— By Uptown Almanac (@uptownalmanac) |

Note: At the request of a company associated with the show, this post was temporarily removed and edited. 

Butler, alleged drug kingpin and your mom's boss, on ABC 7 with his 'PI Mommies'

Earlier today, CBS 5 broke the story that Norman Wielsch, the “high-profile commander for the Central Contra Costa Narcotics Enforcement Team,”  was arrested today for “distributing for sales methamphetamine, marijuana and steroids.” Ok. Whatever. Yet another re-hash of the crooked narc cop selling dope on the side, big deal. Totes ironic. But then there was this gem…

Wielsch was arrested without incident along with 49-year-old Christopher Butler of Concord, Gregory said. Like Wielsch, Butler is also facing several felony counts related to the selling of methamphetamines, marijuana and steroids.

If that second name rings a bell to you, it should. Christopher Butler is the owner and lead investigator of Butler & Associates Private Investigations, a Concord based PI firm [As 2/15/11 their website has been taken down] that has received a lot of attention over the last year.  Dubbed the 'Mommy PI Agency' by the media, Butler gained noteriety in local and national press for his 'Charlie's Angels' team of middle aged, soccer mom-looking decoys and PIs.

Over the last year the PR machine has been churning almost non-stop for Butler and his 'Angels'. From local TV appearances on ABC 7's View From the Bay, to national coverage on NBC's Today Show; three of the PIs even did a glamour spread in People Magazine in March, 2010. The attention seemed to work.  

In approximently March of 2010, a TV production company began production on a reality series. Whether PI Moms of San Francisco (no really, that's the title) was greenlit for either a pilot or a full series order remains unclear, as the network has yet to begin their own PR cycle. That's usually a pretty bad sign for a show that was rumored to begin airing in March, 2011. Butler's own arrest probably isn't going to help much either…  

Butler, an ex-cop himself, is spending the night in jail with Norman Wielsch. Ironically, Butler & Associates operates online under the URL Uncover-Truth.com. Now that the truth behind this media crazy ex-cop and local Private Eye is coming out, I don't find myself asking 'did he do it?'; I honestly don't give a shit.  All I really want to know is if the 'Mommy PIs' were involved in any of the alleged drug dealings.  CROOKED DRUG DEALING PI Moms of San Francisco, now that's a show I would watch…

UPDATE: The Chronicle just put two and two together and chimmed in.  Butler and Wielsch had served as police officers in Antioch together. In addition to their alleged conspiracy to distribute, the Chronicle is reporting the following charges being levied:

The two men were booked on suspicion of conspiracy, embezzlement, burglary, and possession and transportation of controlled substances. Wielsch is being held in lieu of $660,000 bail. Butler's bail was set at $840,000.

Butler featured with his 'PI Moms' in People Magazine

Violence Rocks Mission Street, Assassination Attempt on Gangster Baby

— By Jon Skulski |

The result of the botched attempt on Gangster Baby's life. Police believe it to be territory dispute.

Just another example of our “Lame-stream Media” failing us once again, folks. They miss the real story and instead bring you in-depth coverage about some guy I've never heard of, doing something I don't care about.

In other news, it was sunny this weekend and some people got drunk in a park.

'Missing Alcatraz Inmates' Were Cause of Monday Gunfire in Russian Hill.

— By Zach Perkins |

Production for Alcatraz (the upcoming San Francisco-set JJ Abrams thriller) began on January 19th, but don't expect to see many production crews around the City. As previously discussed, a handful of key shots for the first season will likely be filmed here (and on the Rock), but the overwhelming majority of the series will be shot in Vancouver.  

Monday was one of those exceptions.  As SFist reported, Alcatraz filming resulted in street closures and neighborhood warnings of 'simulated gunfire'.  We at Uptown Almanac sent Jenny Wilson down to Filbert Street between Hyde and Leavenworth, to continue our tradition of bringing you the best in shitty iPhone journalism and paparazzi star-fucking.  

You never know, if you hang around Humphrey Slocombe enough, there's still a chance you might have a 'ZOMG it's Hurley from Lost!' moment in the next few weeks.  

Alcatraz premieres on FOX this Fall, and is centered around a team of FBI Agents tasked with hunting down a group of missing inmates and guards who reappear in the present. 

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Cougars on the Prowl in the Mission

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Let's ignore the startling drawing above for a second and focus on the latest form The Bold Italic.  Today they bring us a guide to being a cougar in the Mission (although they try to rename “cougar” as “sabertooth,” as sabertooth tigers are more badass than cougars or something).  First, let's get in the cougar mindset:

There’s a taboo to the term cougar, much like the played out “hipster” tag. No one actually wants to be called one, myself included. However, I am 36 and dating guys a decade younger.

Let me point out, I have nothing against guys my age, and I don't rule them out. But it’s funny (as they say) that as I get older, the dudes I’m dating stay the same age. I’m drawn to the hallmarks of these 20-somethings – the sound of skateboard wheels coming down the street, the sight of postgrads paying for their coffee with quarters. I don’t need a financially secure, established guy. I need adventure!

So where do “sabertooths” go to pick up a fresh, fine Mission bro?  Guerrero Gallery (for the arty/Mike Giant-obsessed types), Pop's (where a communal love of Black Sabbath will get you a date), and the Phone Booth, where you can use the jukebox to accurately determine if a guy wearing a “vintage western shirt and holding a beer koozie” is a suitable mate.

Men in search of older women who like adventure and were in high school during Loma Prieta, you know where to go.

Now, let's focus on the handy guide to Mission guys provided by The Bold Italic.  Their rendition of a “skater boi”?  Fuck it, I don't even want to go there…

(link)

KTVU Discovers Video of Man Smoking Crack on the N Judah, Forgets How to Report the News Amongst the Excitement

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

A man was caught smoking crack on Muni and Conan O'Brien's haircut is NOT HAPPY.

As you might recall from yesterday morning, we posted a video of a dude smoking crack on Muni that was sent to us by an Uptown reader who unfortunately has to ride the N Judah to get to and from work.  Now, I personally didn't really find the video that shocking considering there isn't a day that passes that I don't see someone doing drugs in the street, so I figured I'd just be an ass and instruct people how to properly hold their iPhone while recording video.  Here's the thing: KTVU thought this was a BIG FUCKING DEAL. In fact, they sent some poor bastard to report live from location:

“Ken, what are the latest developments in crack usage on Muni?

Reporter Ken Wayne apparently spent a better part of the afternoon interviewing N Judah riders who weren't there, asking them what they thought about the video:

YouTube commenters in real life: unleashing a myriad of evils upon the earth.

KTVU then goes on to dedicate a good portion of their segment to talking about why everyone standing around the video didn't do anything, even getting an official response from Muni.

You'd think with all the effort KTVU has dedicated to this story, they would have tried to get some eyewitness accounts from the scene, right?  Nope.  They didn't contact the person who uploaded the video to YouTube (me), nor the person who sent us the video (who is pretty easy to track down on Twitter).  Instead, they just talked to a bunch of randoms on the street, who didn't really have much to say.

So why didn't all the bystanders do anything, such as notify the driver or call the police?  From the person who sent us the video: “He was asking all of the girls around them if they were DTF.  Everyone was dying laughing at him.”

Live from the N Judah, ladies and gentlemen, it's KTVU News at 10.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Matt Damon Wishes You Fame and Fortune

— By Jon Skulski |

This weekend is your chance to crawl out of the cheap wine hangover you call home. And Matt Damon, with his angelic smile and stand up guy attitude, will be there to help you along to Hollywood stardom.

Do you really need to spend another sunny January day in Dolores park, swishing PBR between your cheeks? Your mimosas can wait a couple weeks, sweetheart. It's time to rejoice in the glory that is Matt Damon. It's not often that a demi-god smiles brightly on you. He is offering an escape from the burrito-loop of Mission lifestyle. The least you could do is show up.

As a bonus, there's a good chance of Steven Soderbergh shouting at you to take off your fake Ray Bans.

Requirements:

  • Standing around, not looking at the camera
  • Owning a pen
  • Mastery of the Meisner Technique, a plus

(via Fun Cheap SF)

Emeril shooting in SF right this very second (ZOMG!!)

— By Zach Perkins |

Street reporter/walker Jenny Wilson reports spotting Emeril and an Authentic Entertainment Productions crew setting up at the Irish Coffee crackhouse Buena Vista Cafe this morning.  Emeril has previously worked on 'Authentic' Ent's Food Network series Best Thing I Ever Ate, so this is probably for a Season 5 episode of that show.  Get over to the Marina and gawk at the biggest food celeb of 2k3.  BAM! (that is what he says, amirite?) 

100 Days of BBC Headlines Now Up Along Valencia

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Peep this: local artist Johnny Selman has taken up the seemingly impossible task of illustrating a BBC headline everyday for an entire year for an Academy of Arts master's project dubbed “BBCX365.” No days off, not even while sick or for an all day drinking session in Dolores Park.  Commitment!  Anyway, while you can check out each poster for the day on the project blog, Johnny recently unveiled an outdoor exhibition displaying the first 100 days of the project in various Valencia storefront windows, giving us laypeople our first opportunity to see the works in real life.

Johnny claims his goal for project is to “draw attention to world events that people might not otherwise be aware of, and thus begin to drive people to seek out international news on a regular basis.”  That sounds nice and all, but I find this more of a fun way to have an end-of-the-year review of the year's top stories, from Gap's embarrassing branding misstep to some guy in a funny hat telling us it's okay to use rubbers.

Anyway, I didn't take a complete list of businesses where you can find the posters (mainly because rain causes me to slouch forward in apathy as I trek down the street), but the short list is Mission Bikes, Aquarius Records, Community Thrift, Ritual, Valencia Whole Foods, Borderlands, and Slingshot Gallery.

(Posters, from left to right: US SENATE LIFTS ‘DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL’ GAY SOLDIER BAN, POPE BENEDICT CONDONES CONDOM USE IN SOME CASES, OBAMA RECEIVES 12 STITCHES TO LIP, ANONYMOUS RECRUITS WIKILEAKS ‘DATA ARMY’, TWITTER SCRAMBLES TO BLOCK WORMS, NORTH KOREA’S KIM PAVESWAY FOR FAMILY SUCCESSION)

Mother Jones Reporting Live From Mission High

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mother Jones Magazine has launched a new education blog that is focusing on Mission High.  Kristina Rizga explains:

Over the next few months, [Titania Kumeh] and I will be exploring American education trends through the hyperlocal lens of Mission High School, one of San Francisco's lowest-performing—though rapidly improving—urban public high schools. Instead of writing another shocker on the achievement gap, we'll ask students at Mission High and other inner-city schools what really works to help them to succeed. Instead of another diatribe on “value-added testing,” we'll report from real classrooms on what star teachers do. And instead of obsessing about fights between school chiefs and teacher union reps like Michelle Rhee and Randi Weingarten, we'll talk to teachers about their own employment contracts and tenure concerns. Don't get me wrong—we'll still cover the studies, talk to the experts, and report on conferences. But we'll let the realities of every-day life in schools be the primary driver of our coverage, rather than reactions to the latest reports, donation announcements, or accusations.

Read on.  Or, if education and political issues isn't you thing, check out their tour of Mission High featuring pictures of REALLY HAPPY looking staff and chillingly accurate descriptions of high school life that make me really glad I never have to set foot into a classroom again.

The only Christmas movie you need to see this year/ever

— By Zach Perkins |

Things I learned from this trailer:  

  1. The national pass-time of Finland involves psychologically scarring the children of other nations.  
  2. Not all live action Christmas movies are lame.  

Rare Exports premieres in San Francisco tomorrow (Dec 17th) at the Landmark Opera Plaza on Van Ness (tickets here).  If you didn't watch the trailer, it's a Finnish film about an evil murderous Santa and some dudes who try to capture him, presumably for profit.  The film is actually based on a pair of short films from 2003, with a similar premise and starring many of the same Finnish actors.  The short films, Rare Exports Inc and Rare Exports Inc: The Official Safety Instructions are definitely worth a quick watch.  

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