'mnstrm media'

SF Examiner owners buy SF Bay Guardian

We’ve all heard the news by now: the new folks behind the SF Examiner have now taken over the SF Bay Guardian as well.  What does this mean for the two newspapers?  It’s all speculation at this point, but my crystal ball predicts a merger between the two.

Here’s what I predict we can expect from the combined paper, the San Francisco Examinerdian:

Any other predictions how the Examiner/Bay Guardian deal will work out?  Speculate away.

San Francisco 3rd Best City For Hipsters, Says Magazine You May Find On Your Hotel Nightstand

Three of Uptown Almanac's “plugged in” readers forwarded along this article from your podiatrist's waiting room rag of choice, Travel + Leisure, which—drum roll, please—anoints San Francisco the third best American city for hipsters!

Done patting yourself on the back/pointing at yourself saying, “not my damn fault”?  Okay, good.

This is amazing news to any Bay Area cool kids concerned with how they collectively stack up against other locales in the eyes of the elderly.  Only Seattle and Portland surpassed our hallowed streets, and I'm pretty sure Seattle died of a heroin overdose 15 years ago and Portland… well Portland has probably one of the best PR campaigns on television right now.  Also, who cares about Seattle and Portland?

The city which we're most often measured up against, New York City, didn't even crack the top 10.  That's right, NYC sits ugly down at the #12 spot, behind Portland (Maine), Austin, Denver, and San Juan, Puerto Rico—that last one being this biggest diss of them all.  I mean, who knew Puerto Rico was even in America, much less a tropical hipster haven?

Of course, the problem with this magazine's list is the scientific method used to make it.  Namely, they didn't use a scientific method. From the intro:

[We] ranked 35 metropolitan areas on culturally relevant features like live music, coffee bars, and independent boutiques. To zero in on the biggest hipster crowds, we also factored in the results for the best microbrews and the most offbeat and tech-savvy locals.

Basically, they defined the undefinable not by the exaggeration in their collective eye roll, but by their fancy tastes in beer, coffee, and iPhone apps?

Whatever, man.

Anyone want to take a vay-cay to Puerto Rico and scope out some off-shore hipsters?

[Pic via DIE HIPSTER SCUM]

C.W. Nevius Changes Course, Perpetuates Prejudice Toward Bicyclists

Chronicle writer C.W. Nevius can't seem to make up his mind.

In July, Nevius penned an ode to the Wiggle — the popular bike path that is the only reasonable way for cyclists to move from the east side of town to the west without climbing up and over a giant hill. In the July piece, Nevius claimed to have a conversion experience while riding the Wiggle, suddenly realizing that “bikes are the future,” and that recognizing this “cultural shift… means letting go of the old angry biker model.” Given the revelation that bikes are an inevitable part of any 21st century city, Nevius further proclaims “it's time for us all to start getting along — bikers, walkers, and drivers” and quotes a citizen saying, “Needless antagonism doesn't help anybody.”

This was of course a welcome message to the city's community of bicyclists, the vast majority of whom are mild-mannered, considerate riders simply trying to move around the urban landscape in a safe and efficient manner, and, yes, one that is also better for their body and for the planet as a whole. For years, bicyclists have suffered the indignation of being unjustly portrayed as a group of people who are reckless, insolent, and dangerous on the road — adjectives that can only be fairly applied to the very worst of the cycling community. That someone who as recently as 2009 wrote a piece entitled “A bike-friendly SF? Don't hold your breath” was now coming out against the “needless antagonism” and downright bigotry regularly directed at cyclists made this call for sanity particularly encouraging.

Unfortunately, Nevius' moment of clarity seems to have been particularly short-lived. Last week Nevius saw occasion to write not one, but two negative articles about the Wiggle and the community of cyclists who use it.

The first piece was published on Tuesday and focused on the “vociferous” reaction from the bicycle community at the sting operation along the Wiggle which featured the SFPD “improving safety” by ticketing cyclists who don't come to full stops while taking right turns in completely vacant intersections. Instead of taking the opportunity to explore the chasm between the ad hoc laws the city has imposed on cyclists (i.e. treating them as automobiles when they clearly are not) and the safe, reasonable manner in which thousands of cyclists actually use the streets (i.e. treating stop signs as yield signs — a solution reasonable enough for the progressive hotbed of Idaho to adopt it as state law), Nevius followed up his dismay at the “touchiness” of the bicycling community by unfairly perpetuating negative stereotypes in his highlighting of the “speed racer” cyclist and the guy texting while cycling instead of the 90-95% of the cycling community that is riding with the utmost respect for other users of the public right-of-ways.

When his Tuesday article generated such a strong response, Nevius decided to write another article on the Wiggle, this time taking the highly unusual step of actually going out and doing some research on his topic. Showing that he himself is not immune to exhibiting exaggerated touchiness in response to criticism, Nevius ratcheted up the very “needless antagonism” he once derided by deciding, apparently mid-week, that the Wiggle was no longer in need of capitalizing (demonstrating the height of pettiness), and then proceeding to claim that riders of the Wiggle regularly “steam through the stop signs, swoop around corners, and scatter pedestrians in the crosswalk.” If that weren't enough, Nevius would have us believe that the average Wiggle rider will “often” verbally berate pedestrians by yelling “Fuck you. Mind your own business” as they ride by.

I applaud Nevius for getting out on the Wiggle and spending five whole minutes doing research on the activity of Wiggle riders. And I don't doubt that of the 19 bikers that came through the intersection of Waller and Steiner that only one stopped at the stop sign. What I do reject is his claim that those 18 bikers who didn't stop are dangerous and each one represents a “potential accident.” Let us examine this disconnect.

Obviously the biggest problem here is the traffic code itself. I think we can all agree a bike is not an automobile. Owing to this, bikes and automobiles are often expected to follow different laws (cyclists can ride in bike lanes, cars cannot; people under the age of 13 can ride a bike on the sidewalk or the street but they cannot drive a car anywhere until age 16; etc). However, when it comes to stop signs, the bicycle is expected to follow the exact same rules as a car, despite the fact that they operate very differently and pose very different levels of risk. The simple fact is stop signs should be treated as yield signs for cyclists, something that occurs de facto hundreds of thousands of times every day in San Francisco without incident and has been a successful law for almost 30 years in the state of Idaho.

The second biggest problem in this situation is the very small minority of cyclists who seem to not understand the concept of yielding the right-of-way. These people do in fact exist. They represent about 5-10 percent of the total cycling population, and pedestrians and drivers are not alone in being upset with them.

Cyclists themselves have particular contempt for this small faction of riders because they contribute to the third problem in this scenario, namely that there are a great number of people — pedestrian, driver, cyclist and Nevius among them — who equate the actions of this very small minority of riders with the entire bicycling community. The reality is that at least 90% of the riders of the Wiggle do in fact yield to pedestrians. Unfortunately, the unpleasantness of the occasional jerk on a bicycle naturally overshadows the vast majority of experiences when bicyclists behave just as they should — and a headline of “95% of Cyclists Excellent Riders” doesn't help much in the way of selling newspapers.

What was particularly discouraging about Nevius' article, other than his hit-piece being preceded by his sensible admonition to “let go of the old angry biker model,” is that he ends the editorial by suggesting that “the more accommodations the city makes for bicyclists the more entitled the riders become,” a claim that has been proven over and over again to be the exact opposite of the truth. In reality, the more you actually consider the experience of the bicycle rider and plan the streets with some modicum of awareness of their existence and proliferation, the more you will see a respect for the rule of law amongst cyclists and an improved street experience for everyone, particularly pedestrians (hint for the gentleman who “plays peek-a-boo” with cyclists: you have to do that because a car is parked too close to the intersection, not because people ride bikes. Try contacting the MTA to have the spot removed).

Garbage laws engender garbage behavior: when you deem by law that every cyclists must come to a full stop at every stop sign regardless of the situation, you're going to get a scoff-law attitude because that law doesn't truly reflect what it takes to safely ride a bike. If you change the law while putting in some basic bike infrastructure so cyclists don't have to rely on their own wits just to keep from getting run over on Oak Street, then you will start to see cyclists being less aggressive and holding each other to a higher standard.

Of course Nevius isn't interested in solutions to the problem — he's only interested in cultivating more comments on his articles. Last week's second op-ed yielded over 230 comments within 24 hours, the majority of which are characterized by misinformed, vile hatred and some of which openly call for unprovoked lethal violence to cyclists. Nevius is clearly aware of this effect — after all, it was the strong reaction that compelled him to write his second piece.

Now he has a choice to make: either he can heed the advice of July-C.W. Nevius and publish a retraction of his latest contribution to “needless antagonism” and the false perpetuation of the “angry biker model” or he can continue to throw misinformed gasoline on the raging fire of the perceived conflict between pedestrians, cyclists, and drivers.

Here's hoping that C.W. Nevius remembers what he realized in July — that bicycles are not only the future, but, for those of us who are aware of climate change, soon-to-be $5 gallons of gas, and impending economic crisis, bicycles are an essential part of the present. It is in all our interests to maintain a healthy, respectful dialogue and work together to help stamp out the small group of cyclists who are inconsiderate on the road. More bicycles means a more efficient Muni, more open parking spaces for those who can afford a car, a healthier more active citizenry, and less carbon in the atmosphere heating up our planet.

But we aren't going to stand around and wait for Nevius' apology — to borrow a phrase: A bike-friendly S.F. Chronicle columnist? We're not holding our breath.

[photo by David Gartner]

In Defense of Ross Mirkarimi

I don't have much love for Rob Anderson (of District 5 Diary fame). He shits on pretty much everything progressive. His whining and lawsuits are the reason the city couldn't move forward with improving bicycle infrastructure for years.  He is, without an ounce of hyperbole or irony, every NIMBY and SF Gate commenter rolled into one smelly, saggy, senior citizen-y bag of festering feces.

However, Robbie Andie has recently become the unlikely defender of one Ross Mirkarimi, the embattled progressive sheriff accused of beating his wife and recipient of constant condemnation from a bored San Francisco media community hellbent on judging a man prior to his trial.  And, as much as I want to kick Robbie down an endless flight of stairs, his defense of Ross is completely spot on.

See, it's in vogue to call for Ross to step down from his position as sheriff, even though he hasn't been convicted of any crime and ex-lovers of his have come out to say Ross raising a hand on someone is completely out of character (“I was shocked when I read about it,” Evelyn Nieves, a journalist and a past partner of Mirkarimi’s, said in an e-mail. “Ross and I were together for the better part of a decade — eight years or so — and never once did he even come close to being physical during an argument. It’s just not his way,” Nieves added. “He was way more prone to proposing that disagreements be talked out.”)  His wife even denies it happened.  But who cares about all that! The centrist gang of thugs that controls the bully pulpit of media and politics in this town want his fucking head, and they want it now.

Back to Robbie.  He, like every other sensible person, knows this media mob justice stinks, and he's (rightfully) taking the “journalists” behind it to task.  Observe:

Carly Schwartz is “editor of Huffington Post San Francisco.” I get their “San Francisco alerts,” like the daily links I get from BeyondChron, Streetsblog, etc., but there's rarely anything of interest or worth a comment.

Until the other day, with Schwartz's dumb, lemming-like piece on Ross Mirkarimi. Schwartz has nothing new or interesting to say on the matter, but she just wanted everyone in SF to know that she too is piling on Mirkarimi.

Schwartz begins by trying to establish her credibility as a San Francisco progressive:

As a longtime resident of the Haight, I've been a fan of Mirkarimi, my progressive former District 5 Supervisor, for ages. The gregarious politico champions causes like marijuana legalization and equal rights for homeless people; issues near and dear to my heart.

If those issues were really “near and dear” to Schwartz, she would know that Mirkarimi has had little to do or even say about homelessness in his years as District 5 Supervisor. Is she referring to his opposition to the sit-lie law? Hard to say, but it's apparently just pro-forma bullshit, a failed attempt to demonstrate some kind of political credibility. And, except for carrying the legislation to regulate the city's pot clubs back in 2005, the pot issue hasn't been particularly important for Mirkarimi or anyone else in San Francisco, where it's not controversial.

Okay, I know you're waiting for the good stuff, and here it is:

And now, sadly, I count myself among the ranks of San Franciscans who believe the time has come for our sheriff to step aside. At least until this whole mess resolves itself…Local and national commentators weren't shy with their opinions, and the chorus of cries for Mirkarimi's resignation grew louder and louder until it completely drowned out his steadfast claims of innocence.

Oh, yes, it's so sad to join the mob. Why not wait until the “mess resolves itself,” that is, until the man has had his day in court? That's not a question political lemmings often ask themselves. Schwartz knows which way the wind is blowing here in Progressive Land, where Mirkarimi is facing stiff headwinds.

And there you go. Why rush the political judgment before the criminal judgment? This “mess” is obviously being highly politicized, quite disingenuously, by cynical people desperate to find a reason to overturn the election.

Of course elected officials should set the best moral and ethical example for our society, and if Ross did in fact beat his wife, he should burn in the hell of political and societal irrelevancy for the rest of his life.  But we should judge the man on the facts and not on the speculation spread by the media, and we won't know the real facts until Carly Schwartz, C.W. Nevius, and their kangaroo court go away and Ross can face a real judge and jury.

So Ross, please don't step down.  You deserve your day in court.

Rag for Crusty Conservatives Anoints Divisadero 'Mission 2.0'

Man, writing for a 'real' newspaper must be a total bummer.  When Mission bloggers have nothing to write about, we just scour Tumblr for a sweet graffiti pic, come up with a killer pun and start drinking.  But when the poor fucks who write for the Wall Street Journal have no news to report, they're forced to scribble some 'trend piece' about where people with disposable incomes and a fancying for $9 appetizers hang out.

Awful, just awful stuff.

But, it seems some people—namely realtors and landlords, although I suppose they are people too—do take this stuff seriously.  So join me in acknowledging the Wall Street Journal's acknowledgment that NOPA/Divis/Western Addition is “San Francisco's new Mission District”:

The Divisadero Corridor, which runs roughly north and south between Haight and Turk streets and stretches a few blocks west and east of Divisadero Street in the Western Addition, has become San Francisco's new Mission District. Once a mainly black, working-class neighborhood, with some crack houses and prostitution, the Divisadero Corridor is becoming home to hip eateries and young, largely white techies. In doing so, the neighborhood is dealing with some of the same gentrification issues, such as rising rents and demographic shifts, that the Mission has faced in recent years. […]

The younger residents moving into the Divisadero Corridor are often coming after being priced out of the Mission District. Meghan Murray, a 28-year-old marketing employee for a technology start-up, says she and her boyfriend moved into a large studio near Alamo Square Park for $1,900 a month after failing to find one under their $2,000-a-month target in Mission. “It's sort of the same vibe here,” she says.

The same is true for business owners such as Brian Belier. The hairstylist wanted to open his salon, Population, in the Mission. But he found everything was too expensive and instead opted for a former check-cashing place on Divisadero and Fell streets, where the rent is less than half the $7,000-a-month going rate for a storefront he considered in the Mission. He says the clientele at his shop, which opened in August 2010, includes tech employees, students and artists.

And the money shot:

“People are thinking it's the Mission 2.0,” says Jarie Bolander, a board member and former president of the North Panhandle Neighborhood Association, which includes the Divisadero Corridor. “It's a great place to hang out and window shop.”

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing but love for Divisadero. Just a few weeks back, I went to Fly Bar for the first time and chowed down on what might be the best happy hour menu I've ever seen in San Francisco.  And Green Chili Kitchen, while technically not on Divisadero, cooks up one of the meanest breakfast burritos around.  But this neighborhood v. neighborhood deal is getting kinda played out; never mind reeking of attention-seeking desperation.

Can we all just agree that the only two neighborhoods that should be compared are the Mission and the Marina, with the conclusion being the Mission is always better?

Anyway, time to start drinking.

[Photo by Clinton Perry]

Bender's Gets Brief Shout-out from Anthony Bourdain's "The Layover"

I'm sure you've been sick of hearing about Tony Bourdain's jaunt through SF since it happened back in August.  And don't worry—we're getting to that point too.  But the guy has a mouth like a sailor, and he pretty much spent his entire time in SF getting housed, so we couldn't help but give his SF episode of “The Layout” a watch last night.

All those places we heard about Bourdain visiting—Toronado, Dolores Park, Rice Paper Scissors, Zeitgeist etc.—made the show, but beloved neighborhood hole Bender's made an unexpected cameo.  This is what he had to say about it:

I could have gone to Bender's for late drinks, but they have live rock n' roll there and this show is so cheap-ass that we couldn't afford to pay the music rights.

Instead, he rolled to Chinatown's Li Po Lounge, where he shoved one of those blackout-inducing mai tai's down his throat.

And, of course, the “live rock n' roll” comment is a lie, as Bender's doesn't have live music on Tuesdays (when they filmed).  But no matter; it sounds like the jukebox has gone and saved the bar from hordes of Travel Channel watchers.

Antoine Dodson 2.0: Bay Bridge Edition

Here's your daily reminder that KRON 4 News is completely fucking useless. 

And for the record, this is what CHP fanboy Stanley Roberts looks like…

Stanley Roberts, his “fat ass”, and a skeezy looking CHP officer attempt to go scuba diving in a parking lot. Pic via Avere Group.

ABC News Sponsors Free Ice Cream Giveaway in Exchange For Epic Shots of Occupy Oakland

Nothing is quite as appalling as seeing Yet Another Food Truck and ABC News setting up shop directly outside a general strike.  Don't get me wrong—I'm all for ice cream on a hot day.  But to drive up to sell ice cream to a bunch of people trying to shut down commerce for the day?  Well, that's just tacky.

But in true activist Oakland fashion, “Treats for the Streets” is no San Francisco food truck.  They have no website, Yelp profile, Twitter feed, Facebook page, Tumblr, Groupon deal, or daily 7x7 Magazine coverage and they give their ice cream away for free.

Everyone involved seemed a little too busy to give me the low-down on how this mobile gift economy scheme works, but I'm digging it.

NYT Renames Popular Apathy-Soaked Dolores Park Knoll "Hipster Hill" to "Hippie Hill"

It's no secret that drum circles have been crashing the Dolores Park party like a plague of tone-deaf locusts for the last year or two, but Hippie Hill?  Is it really getting so bad that the icon of journalistic excellence cannot even discern between the tie-dye gnargle-fest of 1968 Golden Gate Park and the flannel iPhone-party of 2011 Dolores Park?

[NYT]

Rival TV Journalists Have "Anchorman"-esque Showdown in Dolores Park to Kick-Off SFPD Protest

KRON-4 had the spot, then all the sudden this other guy came outta nowhere to “steal the shot.”  I was expecting someone to get pushed down into the Dolores Park bathrooms to get mauled by Kodiak bears or genital crabs, but no dice.

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