Capitalism

This is What Evicting a Business Looks Like

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Earlier this morning, two Sheriff's Department squad cars rolled up to 24th and Folsom, a bunch of officers piled onto the street, stared longingly at the vegan blueberry donuts at Philz, and proceeded to supervise the eviction of the Purple Haze Smoke Shop.  Admittedly, I didn't stop to ask what was going on because there was a circular saw in play, but it's worth noting that this is the third business evicted from this corner in the last few months (the other two being Gunz & Bunz/Mike's Deli and the liquor store on the corner, which were both evicted back in November).

Anyone know what's up?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Oh, the Flags You Can Buy!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I asked a somewhat unsavory salesman about what kinds of people buy the leggy number on the bottom, to which he responded, “Nasty, just nasty people.”

10 bucks!

I can't believe they evicted Modern Times Bookstore for THIS

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing but love for my four-eyed friends and the budding San Francisco entrepreneur; but this is just sad.  Modern Times was both a quality bookstore and event space; not just a seller of national best-sellers and top radical lit, but also of our famed and upcoming local authors and zine makers alike.  This is just a LensCrafters with reclaimed wood tables.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

"A Searing Indictment of Our Consumer Culture"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Much to my surprise, Emeryville's Bay Street shopping center is not only home to interesting art (or, art of any kind), but is self-aware!  Yes, rather than hanging up a giant Christmas tree like the unfettered capitalist scum of San Francisco's Union Square, Emeryville retail mecca erected a “holiday tree” made of shopping carts and shiny ornamental balls.  As BuboBlog (taker of the above photo) speculates, is this a pointed critique of the Black Friday-ification—the pepper spraying, and killing, of our fellow man over dumb crap we won't use in six months—of what was a winter celebration of family and Black Baby Jesus?

Artist Anthony Schmitt explains:

The shopping cart tree symbolizes both generosity and abundance, as well as acknowledging those less fortunate where their whole world may be housed in a cart. We see shopping carts everyday and take them for granted. Individually the beauty of an everyday object may become invisible, but in quantity you can’t miss it.

Oh.

[BuboBlog]

Are Food Trucks 'Punk Rock'?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

It's the project of the “dirty sex rock” band Flexx Bronco, it's got a quasi-sinister name (“Voodoo Van”), and it's slogan is “No forks, No knives, No mercy.”  They even serve a vegan seitan sandwich along with their fried potato-cream cheese balls, “p. b. n' j. balls,” and shrimp po' boys.  But in an age where food trucks are trendier than $50-per-person meals on Valencia, could a food truck ever be considered “punk rock”?  According to an interview with founder Phil Stefani on Eater, that's a yes:

What prompted you to start a food truck? I love this question cause people are always saying to me “Dude I had no idea you were into cooking?” And I'm always like “I'm not, I don't cook buuut my friends do.” And thats the truth. I'm a wizard with a microwave. Being in a touring rock band, as well as a bartender, I love love love street food or late night food on the go. I love touring. I love traveling. I can't stand that static feeling of standing still. I always wanted to open a bar or venue, but the thought of “location, location, location” frightens the shit out of me.

I come from a very punk rock, DIY background and I have always veiwed these food trucks as kind of a wild wild West. It's us against them (brick n' mortars, The City, permitting process, rent). I like that I can design the Cosmic American Voodoo Van like a band would design an album or shirt, and that I can use my knowledge of marketing a band and apply it to something else—in this case, kind-of-gourmet street food. I get to work, move around and experience something new everyday. Fuck it, we'll come to you!

Read on for some more pics, additional insight into the whole project, and background on the band.

It's Always Cold Beer Weather in Dolores Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Our buddy John, whose Friday afternoon is clearly way better than ours, just sent us a pic of Dolores Park's PBR sasquatch out in the wild.  In December.  Which begs the question: if Cold Beer Cold Water comes out of his hole and sees a suntanning stoner, does it mean we're going to get an early spring?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mission Holiday Block Party Goes Down TONIGHT

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

All your favorite Valencia corridor merchants have teamed up for the 4th year to help save you money on holiday gifts you were planning on buying anyway.  Gifts from the likes of Good Vibrations:

Good Vibrations is proud to be the Mission district’s sexy holiday resource! Get in the mood for mistletoe with complimentary chocolates and sparkling cider from 6-10pm and take 15% off when you spend $50 or more! Let our sex educator sales associates help you pick out the perfect gift for everyone on your list, and don’t forget yourself! Be sure to check out our sexy holiday kits and our special Ecorotic line, the natural choice for eco-friendly fun.

And Hangr 16:

DJ Jimmy Hits will be rocking the turntables and we'll be serving free drinks. Plus, 10% off these giftables: ties, underwear, jewelry and t-shirts. 7pm to 10pm

And HMS Beekeeper:

10% off everything in the store, hot honey-sweetened chai, and we'll be hosting Rocket Dog Rescue with dogs for adoption. Noon to 8pm.

Like years past, some shops will be spinnin' jams and dishing out booze, but if you're planning on painting the neighborhood red, it's best to swing by your favorite corner store and brown bag it.

The party officially kicks off at 5pm and goes until 10, but some merchants are running on their own schedule.  Check out MHBP's facebook for more info and what other deals are out there.

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