— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
First it was Zoltron's anti-McDonald's message, now it's a bold statement against plastic water bottles. 18 Reasons sure is worried about America's dietary culture.
Also, this kid got quite a tongue-lashing from his mother when caught vandalizing the mural with his schoolyard politics:
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
What has become of our society? Men with autoerotic addictions are cast to the gutter, forced to collect discarded hipster Viagra bottles to fuel their addictions. We have a five-star cat hotel that sits next to homeless encampments. The unemployment rate continues to rise while politicians grappling economic issues are banned from funerals. The American income gap widens as more trendy restaurants open their doors on streets lined with people eating out of trash cans. The city cuts park services while it gives tax breaks to billion dollar startups. Politicians and greedy CEOs are literally choking the poor.
Anyway, gotta go, Mr. Willikers is ringing his bell again. Foot rub time.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Curbed fills us in on the latest effort to clean up Dolores:
On Saturday, Supervisor Scott Wiener, SF Rec & Park, Recology and Mission Neighborhood Centers, Inc. kicked off the start of increased waste and recycling services at Dolores Park. As every SFian knows, the abundance of visitors that Dolores Park gets on a daily basis results in an increased amount of liter in and around park trash bins. An extra park attendant will be added during peak park visitor hours to monitor and empty trash bins that have reached capacity. The program will also add 386 clean up hours at the park on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays through the summer months and ending in September 2011.
Sounds good. Let's just hope this just gets the neighbors off everyone's backs.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Apparently they also suggest wearing a beanie and a Carhartt jacket as an acceptable alternative to shirtlessness when it is cold outside.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
As you might have heard, The Bay Citizen did an investigation last week into the cleanliness of BART seat cushions. Much to nobody's surprise, the seats were not the most sanitary things in the world:
Fecal and skin-borne bacteria resistant to antibiotics were found in a seat on a train headed from Daly City to Dublin/Pleasanton. Further testing on the skin-borne bacteria showed characteristics of methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, the drug-resistant bacterium that causes potentially lethal infections, although [Darleen Franklin, a supervisor at San Francisco State University’s biology lab] cautioned that the MRSA findings were preliminary.
High concentrations of at least nine bacteria strains and several types of mold were found on the seat. Even after Franklin cleaned the cushion with an alcohol wipe, potentially harmful bacteria were found growing in the fabric.
I'm not sure what all that means, but I think it's safe to say I can stop telling my friends “I'd rather lick the sidewalk than hang out in Berkeley” and start saying “I'd rather rub my unprotected genitals on a BART seat than hang out in Berkeley.”
Anyway, our pal Donald Tetto also found skin-borne bacteria to be “yuck” and decided to parody Josh Ellingston's 'duck at the turnstile' poster and hang prints up on BART trains (photo above, cuz yer dumb). Personally, I like Donald's version better (sorry, Josh), but that's probably because it looks like a child version of Slimer.
So, Bay Citizen, when are you going to start testing the soil at Dolores Park?
— By Jenny Wilson |
Lifted from Almost Makes Sense
As we are all fully aware by now, SFgate is pretty much the cutting edge news source for anything big in the hipster community. That's why unsurprisingly, they are the first ones to announce the next hipster craze: homegrown cigarettes. From a breaking New York Times story that Brooklyn exsists about homegrown tobacco plants in Brooklyn, the Chronicle predicts that soon, San Francisco's American Spirit hipster smoking population will turn to growing our very own tobacco plants, under the guise of “rebelling against mainstream values.”
Those whacky hipsters will do anything to be green and cutting edge! Actually, if you read the process that the retired police officer from Brooklyn (read: not a hipster, despite her rad flannel) uses to harvest her tobacco, you'd realize the process is long and tedious, much like dying of lung cancer:
She has to plant virtually microscopic seeds in trays indoors and then, weeks later, transplant them to buckets outside. She waters the plants daily until they grow to be about five feet tall, with big leaves that droop from the stem. “Like elephant ears,” Ms. Silk said of the leaves. “That's why when people joke around and say, 'They're going to think you're growing pot,' I'm like: 'I'm sorry. There's no one mistaking this for pot.”
So, should NIMBYs get worried that giant elephant tobacco leaves are going to start taking over our community gardens? I doubt it, there's way too much work involved to slowly kill yourself with these.
— By Zach Perkins |
HEY KIDS! Guess what you won't be doing this weekend? That's right, going to Dolores Park! In case you haven't noticed that it's raining outside because you've been hunkered down in your roommate's walk in closet for the last week clawing at the walls and coming down from last weekend's blocaine binge (BRO, THAT SHIT WAS TOTALLY METH'D OUT. NOT COOL.) I'm here to deliver the painful reminder.
On top of that, I'm here to rub in how amazingly glorious the two weekends prior were. In fact it was so nice out that cultural barriers were broken and new levels of Dolores Park fashion were achieved. I present to you, Jorts: ON DEMAND.
Not wanting to waste any material, the excess denim was then distributed and refashioned into headbands.
Denim chokers: the hot item for Spring 2k11?
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Is spending your luxury money at Rainbow no longer novel? Well, a Valencia Street resident just hung up a orange branch from their balcony and left a orange picking device on the sidewalk so passersby can snag themselves a fresh orange. These freebies are sure to not last, so do make your way over to Valencia and 21st before they are all gone.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Is combining locks of human hair, googly eyes, and something that hurts when you try to fornicate with it the future receipe for a winning piece of street art? Looks like it to me.