According to Streetsblog, the traffic lights along Valencia will remain timed for 13 MPH travel for years to come:

Valencia Street’s nearly two-year-old Green Wave signal re-timing aimed at prioritizing bicycle traffic speeds continues to please street users, city leaders, and advocates alike. What started as a temporary pilot will become a permanent institution this week with the installation of four new Green Wave signs along the corridor. […]

Following examples in cities like Copenhagen, Amsterdam, and Portland, the signal optimization keeps vehicles traveling at a steady cycle-friendly 13 mph from 16th to 25th streets while garnering benefits for all users.

“The Green Wave signals and the safer, calmer speeds are another step in the right direction for Valencia Street, which is already a thriving commercial corridor thanks to its wide sidewalks and bike lanes and plentiful on-street bike parking,” said Renee Rivera, acting executive director of the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition.

The article goes on to say that the program has not only made biking down Valencia better, but has actually decreased travel times for cars and reduced the amount of air pollution emitted along the street.  Unfortunately, the city does not plan to expand the program (why not?), but is considering doing another “Green Wave” pilot program on the already bike-friendly 14th Street.

Read on.

The New York Times is reporting that Four Loko is finally going the way of our beloved friend Sparks (R.I.P.):

The company that produces the Four Loko beverage said it will remove the caffeine and two other ingredients from its products after facing a cascade of criticism and regulatory scrutiny for producing the energy drinks, which combine high levels of the stimulant with alcohol.

The announcement comes as the Food and Drug Administration was expected to take a stand on the drinks, perhaps as early as Wednesday. The company, in a statement, acknowledged that it was acting in response to the threat of government action. (link)

Now the question is, what's next?  If history tells us anything, something else (presumably stronger and more disgusting) will take its place.  Personally, if I were to create a Sparks/Loko/Joose/Tilt knockoff, the can would make disparaging comments about people under the age of 23 so gramps wouldn't get confused about who it was marketed to.

In the meantime, go clean out your local bodega and fire up that Sparks cook lab.

Finally, I'd like to leave you with what could be the best string of words ever put together about the beverage.  From the exceptionally rad blog, Fresh Off the Boat:

So, I drink a lot of four loko and its dope. That's really all there is to it. I like gummy bears and I like alcohol that taste like malt liquor gummy bears. The whole crack down is comedy to me. I found this stuff earlier this year around March. I started seeing cans of it on the curb, mad people on the bus were drinking it, and the cans looked like sizzurp fucked an arizona iced tea. It was kinda crunk. I had one can and knew it was going to blow up.

I fux with four loko cause its a wild-out concept and gets right to the point. It blatantly is created to get you blitzed really cheap and there is no pretension. It's an HONEST product. I love it. It's the moonlight bunny ranch of malt liquors. “Get in, get out, that's a OG's classic.” This is the only time in my life I will ever quote Memphis Bleek, but sometimes mo-fuckers say some real shit. [Read On]

Run over to 23rd and Folsom before this one is snatched up.

Image via Cranked, via some tv show.

The Daily Beast a few weeks ago reported on a new way to experience anonymous video-chatting— video-chatting WHILE HIGH. Seshroulette, is a new anonymous video-chatting service that promises you will never have to smoke alone, so long as you're 18 or older, and are smoking legal marijuana. However, there is no way of tracking whether the person you're getting “hella high” with is smoking legal greens. The site only tracks the city users are coming from, leaving authorities with some smokey rings to jump through if they ever want to actually bust a virtual toke fest. The site also doesn't permit any indecent exposure, so you can smoke assured that your high won't be ruined by some dicks later on…

Intrigued, I decided to try Seshroulette out myself one night under the guise of investigative journalism. The following is my story…

All users are currently smoking with each other. Press Next Sesh, or check 'Magic Stoner-Finder'. grinding the bud… packing the bowl… one sec, please…….

At 11:30 PM I'm connected to a scantily clad female sitting in a sun drenched room.  I say hello, ask her where she's from and try to engage, but she doesn't respond. This chick is here on a mission. Soon I realize that her bikini top is in fact “rasta” colors. She holds up a fat nug to the screen, takes out a large bong, packs a bowl, takes a huge rip, blows smoke into the screen, flips me off and I'm onto the next sesh…

All users are currently smoking with each other. Press Next Sesh, or check 'Magic Stoner-Finder'. grinding the bud… packing the bowl… one sec, please…….

11:46:06> Connected. Enjoy the session!

This time I'm connected to a burly man, reclined in a dark corner, illuminated by incandescent light, and strangely only using one hand to type to me… I introduce myself and find out that this dewd is smoking all the way from that scene stealing town otherwise known as Oakland. I tell him that I'm in San Francisco, and ask if he thinks that pot is better in Oakland than SF. He responds, “Fuck if I know, weed is weed.” I immediately recognize that this guy is awesome and we bond over saving money on the bridge toll by smoking via the internets. My new bff pipes up and squeals, “yea FUCk that bridge toll.”

I wanted to know more, how long has this mystery man been Seshrouletting? A: ive only  been on a couple times so far. 

What have his experiences been so far? A: i dont know, people smoking weed i guess.

What is his real name? A: call me poppa bear.

As soon as I go to ask my next question, Poppa Bear brings out a bong to really drive the whole Seshroulette experience home. Poppa Bear's bong is named “the wizard” because it takes him “to magical places” and he rips its shaft with true mastery. Then he brings out a blunt larger than Snoop Dogg's and I've decided that I've had enough when he starts complaining about getting ash on his couch. 

So, when those dirt bike riding cops in Dolores Park start cracking down on everyone's smoke seshes in the park, at least you know you have a virtual haven to find solace in.  Seshroulette, where you'll never have to worry about smoking alone bro.