So, apparently I'm in 5 minutes of this movie that is having it's west-coast debut tomorrow. I haven't seen the movie yet, so I cannot vouch for its quality nor my performance (although it did win some award at the Vail Film Festival). All I know is that I was really tired during filming and completely sober, so just know going into it that I was not my usual self. Anyways, if you are a cyclist and at Sea Otter or find your in Monterrey tomorrow night at 8pm, go see 5 minutes of me being awkward and 82 minutes of people being well-adjusted in an IMAX theater. For those of you at home, you can watch me hella fuck up my ankle while pushing my bike through the snow in the trailer embedded below.
I know this is from late 2009 and I'm hella behind the curve but just look at that sick shot of Twin Peaks. There is so much other sick stuff on this site. Like a sick pic of people building a building! And one of our sick foggy beach! And a Bill O'Reilly quote! Sick!
OK, first off, don't judge me for that gross chipped nail polish. We all have casualties involved due to our lifestyles, and this week, that's been mine.
As far as the door hanger/flyer goes: BRILLIANT. This is so much more effective than the sock-on-doorknob method to inform roommates that you're busy - as my friend Ryan would say - "beatin' guts." I live alone, and even so, I'm kind of tempted to hang it outside my front door, just so my across the hall neighbor knows that she's not the only person who's gettin' some ... except, for honesty's sake, I'd have to cross out "call" on the flyer and write in "text." Was that TMI?
If I see the word "Hipstamatic" pop up in my MyFace.com Newsfeed one more time I swear to god I'm going to go around smashing iPhones into fucking oblivion. You are flooding the shit out of my newsfeed and seriously hampering my hourly stalking of girls that I did/didn't have sex with two to six years ago.
And like that shitty Happy Meal toy I didn't want, every Newsfeed instance of that apex-douche term "Hipstamatic" comes complete with a lame picture you took of your dull day-to-day life, plus the synthetically retro after affects you added to make it seem one ten-thousandth less dull. FUCK.
edit: And for the record; yes I do know that I can "hide Hipstamatic Share for iPhone" but motherfuckers be double posting as wall photos telling me all about what kind of 'rad' fake lenses and no-longer-produced film you didn't actually use. I'd prefer to block your app, not you. Don't tempt me.
Before people went all bitchmade with autotune there was the vocoder which made music futuristic as fuck. Dave Tomkins wrote a book about it, How To Wreck A Nice Beach, and tonight Change The Beat is hosting the release party for it at SOM. Holler son cause it's going down. B.Cause isgoing to rock his Zapp & Roger tribute mix, Freddy Anzures is playing a future shock vocoder set. It's going to be hella robotic and shit! Get down or lay down!
They also have an event at La Pena Cultural Center in Berkeley tonight from 7-9pm and on Thursday at 222 he'll be at the Hot Wax jump off with Monk-One, Freddy & Marky all djing.
David MacDowell is a KILLER PAINTER and if you were in LA today, you could go to thinkspace gallery to see more of his epicness. Tragically this piece was already sold, likely for much, much more than $2 out the door.
“As a kid, I always loved “To Kill A Mockingbird”, and wished Atticus Finch was my dad. To be guided by such ethical wisdom would have made me a better person, I imagine. But nobody’s perfect, and our imperfections dictate the core of this new series, working on both superficial and deeper levels. On the surface is a colorful, humorous romp where we poke fun at celebrity culture and media. Yet the undercurrent is all about how society is bent on correcting wrongs by repressing everyone. It’s always fun to explore how we’re repressed by our parents, “The Man” and the method’s used to repress ourselves.”
(via You Might Find Yourself, via someone else, via someone else)
Ugh, I hate music hipsters. Is it really necessary to demand your iPod be plugged in at your local bar so everyone can hear Yeasayer? Guess what, buddy, Urban Outfitters has been all over this shit for months. When my drunk ass says to you, “I feel like I’m at work right now, this is awful.” and you scoff at me because I couldn’t POSSIBLY know who Yeasayer are since you think you’re “ahead of the curve” because you just got home from SXSW and your skinny jeans still smell like Austin, try not to act like a child. This song is annoying. Half of your iPod is annoying. We’re in a sports bar that on a Monday night is inhabited by drunk old men. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR HIPSTER JAMZ. We want Springsteen! We want shitty arena rock! Why do I keep having this conversation with you? If you weren’t my friend’s friend, I’d be relentless instead of fake apologetic. Go to the Mission if you’re going to be this kind of a snob. Yeasayer?! You make me laugh. Please stop acting like you’d also never be caught dead inside of an Urban Outfitters because after giving 4 years of my life to my favorite retail outlet, I know exactly where your shirt came from.
If you live in the Mission you've probably noticed the marvelous sidewalk widening project that's underway on Valencia between 16th and 18th. At my estimation the sidewalk is about 15 feet wide now which means you can ditch your former single file method and start walking in tandem with your friends. I bet you could get a human chain of at least 5-7 people going uninterrupted. Additionally, you could comfortably rollerblade (this hood is full of avid rollerbladers, didn't you know?) - with extra wide lunges - or run with your arms outstretched in a zig zag pattern down the sidewalk. This is wicked exciting right? WRONG.
Who is planning this garbage and why am I giving you better ideas for free? Well, here it is, on the house. This project is a complete waste of time. Because of the trees planted next to the road, what we're really getting is 3-4 feet of extra sidewalk room. OH NEAT. The extra room given is not going to allow restaurants to put tables on the sidewalk. There's nothing cool that can happen outside. Literally, at best, you can now get around the crowd outside of Casanova on a Friday night without getting pissed off.
This city needs more fucking patios. The sidewalk widening could be great. It could extend all the way across Valencia making it a pedestrian street. A what?! Yes. Shut down Valencia. It's a shitty street to drive on, it's a shitty street to walk on and I'll speculate it's shitty to bike on too. And if it's not, shut your pie hole and go bike down Mission Street. Just imagine, tables outside, benches, trees... Places to chill without getting a grass stain on your ass or having some dog eat your burrito. I want a place where I can hang outside and have a drink or a coffee or dinner that's not fucking Medjool. Let's make this happen, people.
I'm told some chalk-painter bro spent 8 days to make this in Justin Herman Plaza. Eight Days! Chalk! Pretty impressive. feels like I'm there and about to be molested by a smiling mamma grizz and her cub.
Anyways, thank you Canada for wasting some of your marketing budget in San Francisco. Smooches <3