Is Carnaval the New Bay to Breakers?

On Sunday, I was looking for an excuse to get drunk before Church and I remembered it was Carnaval so I cracked open my first Keystone Light at 8:30 and made my way to 24th.  Turns out I wasn't the only other person in the mood.  In fact, with fears that Bay to Breakers might be canceled next year, I think Carnaval is easily the next big thing in SF degenerance:

  1. The streets are already closed to slow moving people and floats
  2. The streets are already filled with semi-naked boys and girls
  3. The streets are already filled with people dressed in funny costumes
  4. There are “mad roof parties”
  5. There are “mad stoop parties”
  6. The Mission is already covered in garbage and piss
  7. The parade ends very close to Dolores park, which is already full of garbage and piss

Let's do it people!  Fuck those whiny NOPA neighbors.  Let's do what we were born to do.  Let's get drunk on 24th and piss all over the Mission.

It's our calling.

Even old people were getting into the festivities

Cool Kid Travels: Noe Valley

I figured that because it was Memorial Day weekend, I would take a trip somewhere new.  Somewhere like Noe Valley.  Totally crashed a BBQ in which featured people mixing Four Loko with Cook's between shots of tequila, a crazy cats digging holes in the garden and a goddamn hen-house full of real life hens just cluckin' and diggin'.  Fascinating!  That said, the highlight of the trip west was the sass the roommates left for each other all over the house.  Between Four Loko, champagne, sass and and sampling of Akon tracks, I'm pretty certain Noe Valley gays are my spirit animal.

CARNAVAL 2010

Apparently there is this thing called Carnaval in the Mission.  Neat!  Unfortunately it starts at 9:30 in the morning (7:30 if you live anywhere near the hippie drum circle warm-up lounge).   Anyways, because I assume most of you had better things to do with your morning, like have sex and eat Lucky Charms, I took my 7-year-old point-and-shoot that has survived two drops in the toilet (I like taking pictures of myself peeing) and my 5-month-old iPhone.  Which do you think took better photos?  Enjoy:

My Carnaval started out just right: two smug white people complaining about “idiots” using disposable coffee cups.  For a hot second, I mumbled “fucking tourists.”  Then I remembered I was in San Francisco.

Carnaval 2010 Press Pool

Carnaval is the only time of the year when you can be coked out swinging a machete down 24th and not get shot by police.

The world's most embarrassing gang initiation ceremony.

The street closures presented the perfect opportunity for hipster divas to take “epic profile pics.”

I initially photographed this girl because I thought she looked like Cousin Itt.

After Zorro here tried to whip my camera out of my hand, he discovered his cape wasn't bullet-proof.

It was truly a hallmark year for fashion.  For example, this bro managed to incorporate every one of the hipster primary colors into his outfit.

Here is my proof that I witnessed a celebrity sighting.

I kept waiting for Peter Parker to change into his Spideysuit, but it never happened.

Anyways, what was my favorite scene of Carnaval 2010?

Want.