Uptown Almanac

UPDATE: Additional pictures + coverage.

"Excuse me, but you are double parked."

Apparently Mission PD has employed a cool kid (via beanie/Converse 'kicks'/green flannel) to do undercover busts in Dolores.  Watching some humorless cop toss Ganja Treats Man's cooler and wizard staff in the trunk of a cruiser was probably the most heart-breaking thing I've seen since Ice Cube's last movie.  Anyways, if you're a drug dealer and you see gray Pontiac Grand Am and some awkward coolster, you might want to reconsider the sale.  If anyone got a picture of this waste of police resources face, send it our way so we can post it.  Because when narcs are in the park, the terrorists NIMBY neighbors win.

Someone was telling me that there is another blogger on Capp St., making this strip of tragedy home to both the highest quantity of crappy bloggers (4 that I know of) and hookers (countless) in the city.  The GoBlog has absolutely nothing to do with the city but everything to do with okay-jokes.  Yeah, their site is definitely circa 1998 and they center their text BUT they talk about outdoor gear and hiking and stuff and that helps me feel 'connected' to white culture.

EXAMPLE:

Marmot: The New Choice For The Thug Life?
One of our 12 faithful readers, not including the +5,000 a day that come to the site looking for naked pictures of Julia Mancuso, sent this little item in to us. We'd post his name, but he'd probably not prefer to be identified as a GoBlog reader to maintain his reputation as a dude. Anyway, usually when one thinks of the preferred jacket to wear while committing a crime or the preferred jacket to steal during a crime, The North Face puffy jacket comes to mind. That or an acid wash jean jacket with a confederate flag. We lack hard statistics of course, but our crack reporting turned this up on our first Google search regarding a recent homocide in NJ:

The gunman was wearing a gray and white North Face jacket, and was described as black, 5-foot, 8-inches tall, with a thin build.

Of course the sartorial tastes of criminals can change swiftly and without notice.  What's considered cool to wear while you stab someone to death in the Fall season, could drastically change by the Summer season. And god forbid you're on an 6 season fashion calendar. That wrecks havoc on the average gangster's wardrobe.

(OH WAIT THERE'S MORE)

 Laura at Vegansaurus* brings us this APB - Annie the dog is lost! Please keep your eyes out for an adorable terrier sans Chill Pill, last seen at Pacific & Walnut escaping into the Presidio. 

Not that anybody who reads this blog would be in the Presidio Heights neighborhood doing anything but scoring coke from trust fund high school students, but if you do happen to be smoking a bowl by Mountain Lake and you see this dog, put on your hero cape for a minute and call one of these numbers:  (415) 309-9710 (415) 776-9324 (415) 922-5040

*yes Laura at Vegansaurus is also Laura at Uptown Almanac. Just trying to maintain the illusion of propriety here people. 

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Last Night I Watched a Small Dog Get Completely Roadhoused

Not sure who made this but they're my new best friend. And probably a lesbian. Who likes the woods. Maybe a serial killer. 

(via drewber)

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• More Racism in the Most "Progressive" City in America, Amici's Pizza Edition