Castro

City Unveils Dolores Park Renovation Website, Doesn't Tell Us Anything We Didn't Already Know 2 Months Ago

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

What does the South Sunset Playfield have to do with Dolores Park?  Everything.

Rec & Park finally launched their completely disappointing Dolores Park Renovation website.  Naturally, there is no way to submit community input or feedback, no additional information that we didn’t report on two months ago, nada.  The “get involved” section links to some random page about planting sprouts or weed or some shit… half the links either don’t work or go to some irrelevant page (my favorite is the twitter link in their ‘social media toolbar’).

The only thing this site tells us is that the next community meeting is going to be sometime in July and the construction schedule has been pushed back to February 2012.  And it took the city government 2 months to get this thing out the door?  Fail.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

St. Patty's Pistol

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Matt Baume noticed this cop’s Shamrock magazine after he gave a lecture to a bunch of skateboarder’s a while back.  Kinda dig that he can have a sense of humor even though he has to bitch out skaters.

BEST FLYER (for a weekly party I never forsee myself attending) EVER!

— By Jane Parton |

OK, first off, don’t judge me for that gross chipped nail polish. We all have casualties involved due to our lifestyles, and this week, that’s been mine.

As far as the door hanger/flyer goes: BRILLIANT. This is so much more effective than the sock-on-doorknob method to inform roommates that you’re busy - as my friend Ryan would say - “beatin’ guts.” I live alone, and even so, I’m kind of tempted to hang it outside my front door, just so my across the hall neighbor knows that she’s not the only person who’s gettin’ some … except, for honesty’s sake, I’d have to cross out “call” on the flyer and write in “text.” Was that TMI?

If you check Yelp before buying drugs, you're doing it wrong.

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I’m not really sure why this page exists.  Do you just have to tell the world that you had drugs in the park?  Who are you, Jim?  Does anyone even need to read reviews of his shit on the internet?  Can’t you just ask one of the thousands of people sitting next to you in the park for their equally random opinion?  As Alexia T. would say, “Some people have clearly taken too many hits from the social media bong.”

But seriously, why do people think they can talk about how awesome their dealer on something like Yelp and not get him busted?  Do we all think the police don’t read this shit?  Don’t get me wrong, someone as notorious as The Truffle Guy doesn’t need Yelp to get caught BUT DAMN PEOPLE.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

ROGER EBERT IS COMING TO TOWN!!

— By Laura B |

 

RE + LB 4 EVA. Between this and the Stephin Merritt thing, I’m gonna have to join the g-d film snobs union or whatever the hell it’s called. Culture, pfft.

Anyway, he’ll be receiving The Novikoff Award at An Evening with Roger Ebert and Friends on Saturday, May 1 at 5:30 pm at the Castro Theatre. That’s basically my birthday. Do you think Roger Ebert would enjoy a lap dance for my birthday? Or a hand shake? Whatevs.

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