Help Bender's Name Their New Bar (And Win a Free Drink Everyday For Life)

As you might have heard, the folks behind the bar at Bender's bought up The Deco Lounge in the Tenderloin as the divey gay bar was going out of business.  The Bender's guys already know what they're going to do with the place: they're moving away from the live music and DJs and turning it into a “cocktail bar” (which, given that it's Bender's, we cannot imagine will be a classy joint).  However, they still don't know what to call it.

They had a few good ideas, but none of them stuck.  A few of us tried to convince them to call it “Benderloin,” but they didn't find that name as amazing as we did.  So they're turning it over to the larger Mission brain trust to figure it out.

However, there's more on the line than the satisification of finally having one of those “killer” bar names in the back of your head put to good use: whoever gives them the best name gets a free drink everyday for life.  Which, honestly, is much more generous compensation than anyone should expect for drunkenly scribbing down lewd bar name.

(Oh, and I already stuffed the box with “Cock & Tails,” “Bert & Ernie's,” and “Sacrifice,” so you'll have to be at least that creative to win.)

Comments (31)

“Everyone Gets Laid!”


“The 415”

make it a franchise: Fry’s? Zoidberg’s? Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth’s?

Given what’s going on in our neck of the woods, I’d say “Gentrification” is a great bar name…

A few of us tried to convince them to call it “Benderloin,” but they didn’t find that name as amazing as we did.

To copy the idea, how about “Tenders.”


That is so whack. As someone who lives in the neighborhood please please please stop the cocktail doughbaggery. I was excited for another Hemlock but then you bust this out. Get ready for the TL boycott. Fuck cocktails.

You should name it: CODE

Good luck on your new venture!!

Larkin St. Tavern

Poo Streets

How about “Tender Ministrations”

How about “How About”?

As with all other things co-opted by boring straight douchebag hipsters… name it:

“Gays were here 1st”

I would suggest, “KevMo’s Anus,” but people might avoid it, thinking it was full of dicks.

Des Moines Beach

Lord Nibbler.
Robot Devil.

The Red Robot

This is a tough one. its in the Civic center hood,one block from lil Saigon ,3 blocks from polk Gulch and 3 blocks from the Tenderloin. Hopefully they are not aiming for the shitty Hemlock crowd (perpetually “Slumming in the TL” even though most patrons have never been to the TL) Or the olive crowd that drive bmw’s and Audi’s from mountain view. It has to be something not to radical because half your daytime customers are going to be state employees(Huge court across the street,city hall 2 blocks away) Yet rough enough around the edges to fit into that stretch of Larkin right before it becomes Little Saigon. Some thing like the Dragons den, Saigon Kick. But really after living at Larkin and Ellis for years I feel that a social club name would be best, Saigon social club or even just Lotus or Bamboo. Hope my 2 cents is worth free drink for life. Cheers

Do we have to go to Benders to be entered? Hopefully not.

The End of the World

The Swig and Hollar
My Wooden Leg
Shanghaied Sally’s
Tbe Walking Wounded
The Zombie Bath Salt House
The Strychnine Social Club


End Cut



“Snoo Snoo” seems much too obvious.

Kill Whitey
Dingle Berries
Fuck! There’s Gum On The Bottom Of My Shoe!
Sticky Floorz
Sodomy Was Her Name
Watz You Tawkin’ Bout Willis

Metropolis - like that old movie with a shout to the deco name.

And Futurama nerds, where’s the love for Hermes and Amy?



The Penalty Box.

Think Tank