I came across this spraypaint fortune cookie while dining at Atlas Cafe and felt compelled to share.  As an individual with a lot of hater hate (not to be confused with KKK-style hate) running through my veins, I find masturbation to be a fine way to soothe the snark and bring out my inner Dalai Lama.  Take seeing a terrible movie in theaters: you could just bail, but then the $15 you could have put towards your next weed purchase would have been completely wasted. Alternatively, you could shit on the flick the entire time, but that'd just enrage the sweaty overweight guy sitting next to you who REALLY THINKS Tron: Legacy captures the magic of the original.  So rather than snarking your way through the 2-hour mistake, why not just lean back in your seat and polish off your member so you can watch the film in a state of unadulterated serenity?  Masturbation: a fine alternative to hating.

Also, I sincerely advise you to never take my advice.