Getting Booted: My Charitable Donation for the Year

After getting booted in the Mission this weekend, I 'donated' nearly a $$$GRAND$$$ to the City of San Francisco this morning.  You're fucking welcome.  

On a related note, I'll be joining the ranks of the car-less masses.  Can't wait to wake up an hour earlier to commute to the East Bay every morning.  Anyone want to buy 1989 Accord coupe?  Ugly as shit but it runs.  Holler.

Comments (25)

no one to blame but yourself. thanks for your contribution to the state’s coffers.

on a second glance, you almost paid as much in penalties as the original fines. your laziness served you well.

Sorry, I missed the part where I placed blame on anyone, could you point that out to me? And while we’re being complete assholes to each other, I believe that my money benefits the city/county and not the state as you incorrectly said.

on the bright side, no more $$$ for those sky blue lacoste cardigans.

looks like they’re listed alphabetically except kevin

the authors are listed in alphabetical order.

“Pay grade”? You’re silly. Are you having a bad day too? Do you want to talk about it?

If you want to get down to it, the events that unfolded were not a result of laziness so much as general irresponsibility (I was stupidly not aware that I had more than two tickets), which is exactly why I’ve decided that I should no longer have a car. I’m sorry if my post upset you, but I don’t understand how you interpreted it to be any sort deflection of blame onto anyone else. I certainly do write posts in which I rant, rave and cast blame and judgement, but this was not one of them. It was merely an expression of my frustration with myself and the situation that I’ve allowed myself to get into.

To be honest, I could care less about your self righteous trolling. I sincerely hope that the public display of my difficult, albeit self made, situation could make you feel a little better today.

But don’t ever fucking talk about my sweater.

It’s actually not above paygrade. Email us your fashion guesthate at and we’ll do it up.

putting all the polemic atmospherics aside, perkins didn’t “donate” anything to the city/state/federal coffers, his cardigan speaks for itself, and he is obviously indigent. with regards to the last point, simply look at the forms of payment. if i’m unfortunate enough to have to pay the DPT $943.00 i sure as hell won’t only put $643.00 on my credit card and pay the rest in cash. i (and most reasonable people) would put the entire amount on the credit card and get the points. the forms of payment tell me that perkins has a low credit limit and/or is maxed out on his cards, thus he is poor.

only indigents tender cash for “legal” goods and services.

The fact that I drive an 89 Accord and write for a 20 something snark blog didn’t cue you into that already?

20 somethin snark blog gettin snarked

I love when people use big words to imply intelligence. It makes me so hot, almost as hot as when people make fun of others for having less money than them.

I like to pay my fines in cash (ALL ONES) to show that I may have mafia connections/money in offshore bank accounts/a very lucrative dancing career.

thank you, monkey, for inspiring debate on SUCH a controversial blog post.

“Welcome to San Francisco” gift basket – unchanged (except the rise in expense) since 1970:

The clapp
$1000 in outstanding tickets followed by a boot on your car
Any number of really doomed dates (see “the clapp” above for worst of doomed dates detail)
Charming eccentric neighbor and/or hostile old lefty frizzy haired bitch neighbor
Cat piss odor from one or both neighbors, or is it just that rug?
Dumpy 1st apartment with blessed privacy or great apartment shared with impossible people
Stolen item, pick one: (car, bike, personal music device, wallet, heart)
Job that paid $7 an hour in 1970 and pays $7.85 an hour in 2010

I read this blog and I fucking appreciated this rant. So there, Monkey. By my count, I have donated at least $2,000 to San Francisco via parking tickets and fines over 6 or 7 years. Ridiculous and stupid? Yes. But life goes on, tickets go unpaid for a multitude of reasons including, but not limited to laziness and irresponsibility. That doesn’t mean one can’t complain about it on a blog that is so clearly NOT set up for some big monetary gain….or did I miss the huge banner ad?


I’m anxiously waiting for BROCHAT to weigh in on this thread.

Ticket cost more than the blue book value on the accord?

Hence the overall shitiness of the situation.

Thousands of dollars in parking tickets made me sell my car a while ago. Between public transit, City Car Share, and walking, there’s really no need for a car in this city. A car is a massive money pit, something you have to worry about but don’t need.

perkins are you going to write anymore?

no, i’m busy crying into my Lacoste Cardigan.

don’t cry into it, it’s a great cardigan. THERE IS THAT BETTER?

welcome to the proletariat asshole

You would think that anyone who lives and owns a car in San Francisco would be empathetic to anyone else having to fork out a thousand bucks to get a car unbooted and clean of tickets. I don’t get the snide attacks! Vent away, Mr. Zach!

you would think anyone who gets a few tickets at $50 bucks a pop or so would get a clue and follow the rules/save money/spend that shit on more tallboys…the $1000 he wasted could have bought roughly…i dont know…1000 tallboys?

I’m guessing you failed calculus in high school.