Cutty Bang, the Famed Combination of Rap Music Sensibilities and Liquor, Available Once Again on 24th

Cutty Bang and Irish Coffee: they're two of San Francisco's better-known contributions to the world of “mixology.”  One, the renowned coffee, cream, and whiskey drink that you can pretty much order at any bar you walk into. The other, a bunch of mini bottles of liquor tossed into a shitty cup with some chaser sold out of some of San Francisco's less reputable corner stores.

As you can imagine, quite unlike the ubiquity of the standard-bearer of morning cocktails, Cutty Bang is rather difficult to track down (and has generally required leaving the Mission).  There's Charlie's Pharmacy in The Fillmore, but they stopped selling Cutty Bang in cup-form to avoid harassment from the cops and deter copycats from selling the drink.  The same is true of Bayview Liquors, where the 'cocktail' originated.  As far as the Mission has been concerned, there's a spot on 24th and Folsom, but you often need to assemble the ingredients yourself—a painful process in the wee hours of the morning.

Luckily, it seems that the disappointing hunt associated with Cutty Bang has finally come to an end.  Do Vulcan Tits Defy Logic? found himself in George's Market on 24th and Shotwell last night and by chance discovered they sell a variation of Cutty Bang (pictured above) called “High Speed”:

i did an informal interview of the dudes buying the cutty bang last night. it was roughly 1:55am, and it went something like this:

me: holy fuck. is that cutty bang?!
dude buying the cutty bang: fuck yeah. cutty bang.
me: fucking awesome.
dbtcb: you ever had ‘high speed’?
me: nah. it’s $11 bucks, right? fuck that.
dbtcb: yeah $11. but it’s worth $22.
me: hmm…
dbtcb: have some high speed.
me: nah.
dbtcb: have some high speed.
me: nah dude, thanks though.
dbtcb: HAVE SOME FUCKING HIGH SPEED. [and yes, this was slightly threatening]
me: well fucking eh. [proceed to pound high speed] holy shit.
dbtcb: fuck yeah. HIGH SPEED.

And what exactly is High Speed? “A styrofoam cup with ice in it. 4 loko, red bull, vodka, gin, rum, and whateverthefuckelse. awesome.”

If for some bizarre reason you're scratching your head as to what is the allure of a 11 buck styrofoam cup with a sugary hangover in it, go read Serg's breakdown of Cutty Bang in SF right now:

Do you like drinking? Do you like getting buck? Do you even know what getting buck entails? Whatever though, the point is that for years San Francisco liquor stores have been satisfying the needs of neighborhoods by combining rap music sensibilities and liquor. As far as I know it all starts with the Cutty Bang, the classic of all these corner store hook ups. What is a cutty bang? Well if you find yourself on 3rd and Newcomb you might realize that there isn't exactly a vast array of night life choices. You've got to find a way to entertain yourself and having a liquor store that sells tiny bottles of alcohol can only lead to brilliance. Well someone took some bottles of Seagrams, Bicardi, Tanqueray, an 8oz can of Dole Pineapple juice, and dumped that shit into a cup. No one seems to know the name of this legendary pioneer in “mixology” but the drink was immortalized by Tay Da Tay and later KNT

There are a grip of these drinks; the names and ingredients seem to change according to where you cop. The most consistent drink by far is the Cutty Bang. There are other drinks though like the What It Do, The Big Unk, The Killa Hoe, Getting Hyphy, the Money Maker, Walk It Out, Do You Like It Raw, Tupac, The Obama, Kobe, Casper, Trible B's, Wipe Me Down, and so on. For the most part the formula is simple, take 3 or 4 different kinds of alcohol, throw in some kind of chaser then just give it some kind of rap related name and boom you're fucking done. But as far the drinks go the cutty bang is my drink of choice, that shit might look maney but it's fucking good. [Read on]


'Dickel and a Pickle'

The Pickleback, as seen in its native habitat at the Bushwick Country Club.

You've heard of picklebacks, right? A shot of whiskey immediately followed by a shot of pickle juice.  It sounds nasty.  Oh so nasty.  Hell, some people can barely keep their faces from contorting into an unsightly mess after the pairing:

But it's really not that bad.  Wikipedia claims “the pickle brine works to neutralize both the taste of the whiskey and the burn of the alcohol.”  Which, sure, sounds possible.  But as someone who thoroughly enjoys the taste of pickles and puts up with the taste of well whiskey, I can assure you the combo just works.

What's the point of all this, you ask?  Well, Broke-Ass Stuart, whose been tending bar at 16th and Harrison newcomer Dear Mom, is bringing the pickleback to the Mission this and every Wednesday night:

I'm bringing an East Coast classic to the Mission: The Pickle Back!  It's a shot of whiskey with a shot of pickle juice as a chaser.  I'm doing it with Dickle Whiskey, so it's gonna be Dickel and a pickle back for $4.  Plus the best part is that it's gourmet pickle juice: I'm getting my pickle juice from the guys who do the Wise Sons food truck and will be soon doing the Wise Sons deli on 24th St.

Do yourself a favor and give this a try.  Just, please, never wear this hat while slamming them back.

[First photo by Muppitz, Second by Trecarious]

New Mission Brewery "Southern Pacific Brewing" Opening Their Doors NYE

Tablehopper alerts us to the terrific news:

After many months of permits, construction, and all kinds of headaches, SOUTHERN PACIFIC BREWING is opening for a private preview party of sorts on New Year’s Eve. The Facebook post announces: “New Years Eve @ Southern Pacific Brewing 8pm-2am. Be the first to see the space and taste the beer, Champagne toast at midnight, $3 house drafts all night long! $20 private party get on the list now!” (For those who want to attend, the link on their main website seems to work.) You will be able to taste the brewery’s IPA and pale ale that evening.

Southern Pacific Brewery is also going to be open on New Year’s Day, playing the football game and serving beers—follow their Facebook page for upcoming details on that party.

According to Tablehopper, this is a preview only—the official opening of the big Treat Street brewery (at 19th) won't be until mid to late-January.  But considering they'll be selling all their local brews for $3 a pint, I'm sure we can all give them a pass.

(You can also see a sketch of their interior design here)

Take a Knee, Santa; It's Time to Shotgun Some High Life

Should you find the standard holiday soiree too family-friendly, be sure to put The Roxie's annual Christmas boozefest on next year's calendar.  Not only will you delight in rambunctiously cheering and mocking Bruce Willis and Carl Winslow's feats of strength in vaguely Christmas-related flicks like Die Hard, the whole thing is MCed by a wine-guzzling, blunt-smoking, can-crushing Santa Claus.

We can only hope next year's bash involves Bad Santa and a bathtub full of 40s.

Timeless Christmas Classic DIE HARD Returns to the Big Screen (And Win Yourself Some Tickets to See It)

By way of some Christmas miracle, The Roxie has managed to bring everyone's favorite holiday film back to the big screen for one night (This Thursday, 7:30pm).  There will be bullets.  There will be cheeky one-liners.  There will be men with goatees falling out windows (apologies if I ruined the ending).  And, best of all, 21st Amendment has thrown in a hot mess of free beer to funnel down your throat while you heckle a gaggle of greedy Germans.

So here's the deal: you can go buy your tickets now ($10! Hella free beer!) or like this post on Uptown's Facebook page for a chance to win a free pair of tickets to the assuredly wild screening (winner randomly selected Wednesday at noon!).

In the meantime, here's one for the road:

Local Brewers Create Eponymous Beverage For The Google Shuttle Crowd

Ever since the FDA ban of Four Loko, I've felt that the next logical and questionably legal step in the alcohol-and-stimulant game was to combine beer with Viagra.  Considering the brilliance of Sparks and Four Loko was giving consumers the ability to get hammered yet stay alert until sunrise without slamming lines of cocaine, it only seems sensible to have a beer that prevents whiskey dick.

As it turns out, depraved minds think alike.  Sea Monkey Fuck-Juice (yes, that's actually their name), the local brewers behind the “delicious; inevitable” Valencia Street Gentrification Porter, claim to have fused the two lascivious substances together:

My grandfather once said to me, “Son, you can lead a horse to water, but a man you should lead to beer.” For him, brewing beer was more than just a way to make the days go by. Nothing came before beer, not work, not raising his kids, not even his own health. The only thing he loved half as much as beer was a small collection of Sea Monkeys he kept in a glass jar on his bedside table. Deep down he knew they were just brine shrimp, but that didn't stop him from loving those little creatures with all his heart. Every night he'd throw in a chicken leg or two to keep his pets fed, and every morning he'd clean out the jar and start over because Sea Monkeys don't eat chicken.

Then once in a while he'd wake up with a mad twinkle in his eye and grab a sack of special powder from under the bed. He'd call all us kids into the room and we'd watch as he sprinkled a few pinches of powder over the Sea Monkeys. Before long they'd start pairing up and grabbing onto each other, their little tails flailing as they spiraled like drunken fireworks around and around the jar. Then the old man would add some more powder and the Sea Monkeys would lose their grip on monogamy, one shrimp grabbing onto another onto another in a kind of erotic conga line. And of course after a few more pinches of powder the Sea Monkeys would go completely berserk, swimming around in a dizzying and frenzied aquatic orgy. Eventually the little shrimp would get tired and stop swimming, and then with a somber grin he'd dump the poor, spent creatures down the drain, saying “It's true what they say, if you have to die, die with passion, die with dignity, die in a terrifying underwater sex romp.”

By now you've probably worked out the secret ingredient in my grandfather's recipe.

If you dare to read on, you'll note that they take a shot at the FDA and proclaim that they've temporarily removed “Sea Monkey Love Salt” from the receipe until it is tested for mass consumption, which might explains why Dolores Park yesterday didn't erupt into a uncontrollable orgy of hipsters with an appetite for orgasms fit only for subhuman punks and dogs.

The hardening effects of the beer aside, the brew is quite delicious; and I typically hate porters.  Smooth without lacking flavor, just enough hops to give the beer some taste without offending the palate of the PBR crowd: it's the perfect beer for summer.  The beer is even carted around Dolores Park in a Google-branded duffel bag, an obvious nod to the porter's name, which one of the brewers claim was a consolation prize for a failed interview at the company.  Best of all, they sell these homebrews for the same price as Cold Beer Cold Water flips his generic brews.  And while they lack the swagger and sex appeal of the kingpin of illicit alcohol sales, they make one helluva product.

[Sea Monkey Fuck-Juice]

Accommodating Corner Store Slices Up Bricks of Tecate Into Quantities You Can Afford

Beer's expensive.  If you're lucky, you can find a twelve for less than a buck a can at 2am, but that's increasingly rare as corner stores capitalize on our insatiable thirst for cheap tasting booze.  Thankfully, one such price gouging 24th St. liquor store has a quick fix for these hard times: DIY Tecate six packs.  Present the seller with ten measly dollars and he'll present you with a box cutter so your night cap-to-be can be divided up into a portion you can afford.

Broke-Ass Stuart Has a New TV Show and Celebrating By Getting Everybody Drunk

It's been a long journey for our pal Broke-Ass Stuart.  Seven years ago, he started out making zines about being a broke-ass in SF.  From there he graduated to publishing two books (with a third coming out next month), started a popular blog about living cheap in SF and NYC, and continued being an all around rad dude.  All that hard work has paid off and now he's got a new show “Young Broke & Beautiful” debuting on IFC Friday evening at 11 and is celebrating tonight by getting everyone drunk at Public Works.

The party kicks off at 7pm with an hour's worth of free Sam Adams (get the Summer Ale!), a sneak peak of the show, and live performances by Ashkon, Richie Cunning, The Hard French DJs, and DJ Bad DJ.  On top of all that, there's going to be DIY vendors from the Indie Mart on the scene and food trucks to make sure you don't get too sloppy.

You gotta RSVP at to get in, so make sure you do that before you bail out of work today.  And if you can't make it, be sure to watch the premiere Friday night or check out the first episode over on Hulu.

[More info at Facebook]