7x7

Reader Adam sent us his thoughts about the latest issue of 7x7 Magazine:
you read this article? the whole thing warrants derision, but read these two paragraphs in particular:
I hadn’t considered the synergy between SF’s two biggest cultural pillars until recently. It took dining at Bar Tartine with a friend who wishes to go unnamed—a tech venture capitalist invested in some of the city’s top restaurants. That night, when I started talking in wonderment about the surge of restaurant openings in SF, recession be damned, he politely suggested I get my head out of my dinner. “What boils my blood,” he said, between bites of duck leg cabbage roll stuffed with liver, house-made sauerkraut, and dried cherries, “is that people in the artist community have never understood the connection between capital and the arts. And they take it massively for granted.”
Gesticulating with a curried, pickled carrot, he broke it down historically. “Look at the rise of Florence. During the Renaissance, you had the combination of wealthy patrons and artists. The wealthy patrons allowed the artists to take risks that they’d never have been able to take if they weren’t provided for.” While sommelier Alex Fox poured us some Von Buhl Riesling, he continued, “And it’s no different today in San Francisco, where food has crossed over into an artistic experience. Chefs and bartenders here consider themselves artists.” I had a disconcerting flash of Bar Agricole’s acclaimed bartender Thad Vogler posing naked like Michelangelo’s David, shaker instead of stone in hand. “Even farmers have artistic status here,” my friend astutely observed. “Today in San Francisco, the wealth gets poured back into our modern-day values: the church of food.”
What pretentious cock suckers, not that there's anything wrong with that. Cock sucking I mean. But com'on. For fuck sake, their sense of self importance is so utterly baseless, it's astounding. Florence during the Renaissance? Really? They're talking pop-up restaurants and food trucks and they're comparing it to Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance. Wow. That makes this little venture capitalist parasite what, one of the Medicis? OK, right, that make sense. Good thing he broke it down "historically" for the dumb fuck author. Except he neglected to mentioned one major difference, the Medici's descendants probably still run most of Italy and large parts of the world while this guy's descendants are most likely going to be working at McDonalds when all his lottery money runs out.
I feel better now. Tx.
No, thank you.
[Sightglass Coffeee photo by Niall Kennedy]
Previously on Uptown Almanac

I recognize that half of what 7x7 publishes is ripe for ridicule, but this disaster takes the cake. From 7x7's "Top 7 Super Carne Asada Burritos in San Francisco":
5. Chipotle - 1 ¼ lbs ($8.71)
The heat was on, said [Sunset Magazine's Margo True], for this chain’s take on a burrito. Their version was “packed with lots of rice, guac, and fire. Zesty!” But it had too much starch for most. “Where are the beans?” said [Burrito Eater's Charles Hodgkins]. “Oh, here hidden behind the damn rice.” Farr called the meat “tender” but wished there was more char. Hodgkins said the guac was “top shelf” but that the cheese seemed absent. [SPQR chef Matthew Accarrino] deemed the burrito “right in the middle of the pack.”
(link)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
This post about good and bad dates in 7x7's Bits + Bites slipped by me a few weeks ago but definitely deserves a look.
Bad First Dates:
El Farolito + Carlos’ Bar (Mission)
Achieving street cred is not the goal of a date. Burritos and a dive bar? Even a hipster should be ashamed.
I'm not sure a hipster should be ashamed but the klanswoman that wrote this should be. First off, Farolito is a gift from the Gods themselves but obviously isn't a 7x7 reader's date spot (unless of course your date started at Mission Bar, you got faced and needed something to soak up all the liquor before you 'bump uglies' on your roommate's bed). It's fucking fast food. This choice took just about as much effort as saying "McDonald's and getting stabbed in Garfield Park" would be a bad first date. Even if you don't bleed out, you're probably going to have the shits for a month so, yeah, it's probably a crappy date. But what really gets me is pairing Carlos' to Farolito. To me, this whole choice is just shitting on Latinos. "Burritos and Tecates ewwwww lolroflmadingdongs who would do that?" A brown person you dumb bitch.


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