Matt Baume over at the SF Weekly recently caught up with the owner of the mysterious tiger bike (complete with an electric wagging tail) and he had this to say:

​”It came from some inner thing, like, 'I just want to do this,'” [bike creator Dan Seneres] explained when we caught up with him by phone. He got the idea one day, inspired by the art car movement. There's just too much homogenity in the bike scene, Dan said, eschewing cliques like mountain bikers, fixie guys, and “road bike people with their spandex.”

“You don't see a lot of art bikes,” he said, so he set out to create his own. That was five years ago, and it's been going strong ever since.

The article goes own to say that beneath the fur exists a labyrinth of wires and cables that connects a small iPod radio.  But what about the accusation that the bike scene is homogenous?  Sure, decorated bikes pop up around Burning Man only to find their way to backs of garages everywhere by October, but there certainly is a lot of creativity and thought that go into people's bikes.  Anyone who has ever worked at a bike shop can tell you people spend hours agonizing over every little detail of a custom bike.  Maybe the bike scene is more like the low-rider scene?  Artful without being covered grade-school craft supplies?

Even so, I wouldn't complain if this dude moved down from Reno to The City:

(full interview at SF Weekly — first photo by nuzz, second photo by Lauren Randolph)

Meli over at Bikes and The City recently took a snap of this badass San Francisco lowrider, which I guess spends more time in garages and galleries than on 24th (for the record, that last point isn't a criticism considering the last car I owned was a '94 (I think?) Jetta hatchback that looked like it was purchased used in Mogadishu and sat idle in my garage for 7 months because I was too apathetic to go to Autozone and buy a new battery).  In case you're like me and have never seen this car in person, check out the details of the roof and trunk.

(photo by meligrosa)

IT COULD HAPPEN HERE!

Today, the City will hold a hearing where pro-zombie hoards will undoubtedly attempt to strip High Bridge Arms, a Mission St gun shop, of their permit.  As someone with a morbid fear of the zombie apocalypse, I stand firmly against the closing of High Bridge Arms, the City's one and only legal purveyor of firearms.  

When the armies of the dead start their long march from Colma to San Francisco, we need High Bridge's cache of firearms on hand for looting. Without them, we'd be left with only novelty swords and ninja stars looted from Chinatown tourist traps.  This is just poor city planning.  Hopefully 'Gun Tottin Gavin' will step in and initiate a new Zombie Preparedness Initiative with TWELVE GAUGES FOR ALL YALLS.  

PROTIP:  Don't loot a gun store unless you're sure the owners have either fled or been zombie-fied.  Looting gun shops with living owners will result in your ass getting shot off and handed to you, and then re-animating moments later as an ass-less zombie. You n00b. 

CHINATOWN IS DOOMED!!!

In all my years of reading Craigslist ads, I believe this poster found “the ultimate Craigslist formula”:

You are looking at one sexy BBW of a bike. Her name is Bertha and she loves to ride. I bought Bertha a year ago and she has been my moped on steroids. I only ride her around the city when I need to get somewhere fast. Dual disc up front on this bitch because fat chicks don't stop on a dime, they stop on big wet burritos. One fork seal is blown. Clear coat on the tank is coming off. But just like any hot fat chick you date they have problems so what do you expect?  Give her love and she will get you laid.  Starts up right away on the first time but then she needs to sit there while she gets her juices flowing.  If you are some skinny mission hipster/trustafarian this would be the perfect bike for you to hide your wealth behind, and mitigate your outrageous 5k collection of apple products you can't even use but to browse the internet and post pics of you facebook playing the same three cord on your guitar with some stupid scarf on your neck. This truly is a poor persons Honda. The only problem with hipsters is you are probably too weak and pot saturated to wield such a big bitch; Hipsters are used to women who starve themselves on cigarettes, cocaine, bottled water, and tofu patties. I think a 50cc Buddy would be really up your ally. If you have any questions let me know. If they are funny and not entirely stupid I may answer. If you actually want to buy this thing I will probably in all likely hood respond. If there are no buyers I will ghost ride this bitch into a wall for 500 and you can video that shit and put it on youtube or digg if you are one of those.

If a motorcycle-riding, 33-year-old Shakespeare wrote Craigslist posts, I think this is what we would have studied in high school.  I mean, it took a mere 7 words for this author to compare his bike to a fat chick.  That's not grammar school bullshit, that's untapped genius.  Let us review this author's formula:

1. Compare product to a fat chick
2. Tell potential buyers that their fat friend will get them laid
3. Inform potential buyers that they'll need to perform cunnilingus on the product for it to function properly
4. Make fun of hipsters
5. Make fun of hipster's girlfriends
6. Tell people you probably won't answer their questions
7. Inform people that if they are too stupid to buy what you're selling, you're going to make said product 'go viral'

Take my money, good sir.