Can You Name This Neighborhood?

Time to put your hyper-local awareness to the test.  Can you tell which fish is out of water?  Bonus, can you tell what the person in green is reaching for?  Here are some hints:
  • Wallet
  • Blackberry
  • Tickets to the theatre
  • Lint
  • Sack of batteries
  • Flask
  • Old Receipts
  • Falconer's business card
  • Bolt cutters
  • Falcon whistle

Winner of this contest joins us in hell.  Partial answer can be found at the photographer's blog.

Bong Rips, iPhone Capture the Wonder of Lunar Eclipse

The lunar eclipse is an experience that brings us back to our primitive nature. A state to marvel at the cosmos with undiminished wonder. A time to look up on unyielding beauty and to confirm, as Carl Sagan said, that 'we are children equally of the earth and the sky'.

Make sure to get stoned and snap a pic with your iPhone.

“Not as good as the new Tron.”

Coitus Interruptus

View from the top of Coit Tower via William Hereford

Recently, my buddy Will posted the picture above on his blog. He took the photo last time he was in San Francisco on business from Brooklyn, and on his free time managed to venture all the way to the top of Coit Tower. Well, color me lazy because I've lived in SF and the Bay for around 20 years now and have never so much as looked up when I pass by Coit Tower. I guess it's just one of those tourist things that you think you'll get to someday, but really, you could actually care less to ever experience it. For example, when I lived in New York my friends would visit and would want to go to the Statue of Liberty all the time. If you've ever lived in NY, most would agree that venturing to the Statue of Liberty would be just as much torture as having to spend multiple hours in the Times Square M&M's store (my own personal hell). So, when friends would suggest that the Statue was something that they wanted to see, I simply would tell them that there are terrorists there, and if they wanted to see it they'd have to risk it by themselves. Once I took a friend on the Staten Island Ferry to see the Statue “from a safe distance,” but I digress. This post is about the Coit Tower.

After seeing Will's photograph, I totally have a new outlook on Coit Tower. First, it has sick-ass views and, after skimming its Wikipedia page, it has a pretty interesting history involving a cross-dressing, cigar-smoking woman amassing a fortune gambling around town.

I can't wait to put off visiting the tower for another few years.

If a car crashed into a Virgin Megastore and no one liveblogged it, did it really happen?

Last week, you might have heard news that someone drove their car right up into the (vacant) Virgin Megastore on Market.  SFist originally speculated that it was too much egg nog at a holiday party, but then the SF Weekly saved the day and tracked down a witness.  The story wasn't nearly as exciting as drunk driving, rather a semi took a turn too wide, hit the car and sent it flying into the store.  However, what was interesting was the witness's recollection of what happened immediately after the crash:

[Eyewitness Benjamin Johnson] notes that he was “surprised how few people ran in there to see if [the driver] was hurt. There was a group of about 20 people and most of them took out their phones to take pictures.”

Snaps all around.

Is Santacon "The New Bay to Breakers"?

As I paced around Civic Center searching for a place to discharge all the whiskey in my bladder, I overheard a Santa, clutching his treasured Bud Light Lime, joyfully exclaim, “This is the new Bay to Breakers.”

Perhaps this costumed connoisseur of fine beverages is onto something.  After all, B2B is once again under pressure to 'rein it in' and have vowed that there will be no alcohol at the 2011 race.  Maybe this is the new event in which the Mission, the Marina, and Livermore can come together for an afternoon of costumed intoxication?  The events certainly are becoming similar.  Let me submit the following into evidence:

THE ROUTE: Much like Bay to Breakers, Santacon follows an established route.  However, unlike the silly bastards that organize B2B, the anarchic masterminds behind Santarchy have split up the race to the bottom into three courses, thus reducing the chances that NIMBYs will get angry at the crowds by 66%.

BONUS: Santa has cemented itself as one of the San Francisco community events that have made some sort of public declaration that C.H.U.D.s live in the Marina/Japantown, thus earn the event “props” from the other 85% of the city.  Excellent PR move.

THE COSTUMES: Just as Bay to Breakers has moved beyond the simple running outfit, Santa no longer views the simple Santa suit as adequate.  As The Dude, caucasian in hand, and the costumed individuals photographed below show, Santacon is has transcended beyond the “Santa suit pub crawl” image to a full-on costumed adventure.

COSTUMES: Indiana Jones Santa demonstrates how the use of props can bring your Santacon experience to the next level.

COSTUMES: iPod Santa shows how vintage technology can make your tomfoolery culturally relevant.

COSTUMES: Chuck Taylor and PBR trucker hat Jesus speaks volumes.  For lazy Santas, merely wearing what you would ordinarily wear, only pantless and pulling a cross, will suffice.

THE FLOATS: Just like B2B, floats are only increasing in presence during Santacon.  Sure, the Oakland-SF Ferry might be more of a literal float than some Jersey Shore-themed travesty, but this year's Polk St. parade of flannel had some of those as well:


INTERESTED ON-LOOKERS: Just as B2B has necessitated a demand for stoop and rooftop parties along the route, Santacon has grown into such a spectacle that even crackheads don their Santa hats and peer out the windows of their SROs.

DISINTERESTED ON-LOOKERS: Much like B2B has a crowd of neighbors who roll their eyes at the antics going on around them, Molotov's had this dog who was contently sleeping as 50+ Santas guzzled shots and pints of PBR.


NO WHERE TO PEE: As Kasey Smith documented, Santa also has to pee on buildings.

RUNNING UPSTREAM: Similar to B2B's Salmon Run!, in which costumed salmon run the race backwards, the result of Santarchy 'going mainstream' was Bananarchy.  Bananarchy, as you might have guessed, involves a bunch of hooligans in banana costumes running the wrong way through a crowd of Santas yelling silly stuff like “BANANAS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!”

What's the verdict?  Compared to previous Santacons I've been to, the 2010 edition seemed to involve more brown bags from bodegas and walking from neighborhood to neighborhood than hanging out in bars.  Then again, that might be because of the nice weather and the fact that the recession has made us all more broke-ass.  Ultimately thought, it doesn't matter if Santacon has “replaced” B2B; this town will just take any excuse it can get to barf its way through the Western Addition.

Milk Was a Bad Choice

If you don't read Fecal Face, you're missing out on their fantastic Photo of the Day section.  It usually has nothing to do with San Francisco, but they recently brought it back to the city for this Ocean Beach shot.  No explanation was given as to why a man dumped a half gallon of whole on his head, but I guess that's what makes it art.

"Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool; I'M AN ART SHOW"

You didn't go to the opening of Glen E. Friedman and Shepard Fairey's Fuck You All collab at 941 Geary, did you?  Dude wtf, Josh already told you about the radness.  Stop being such an armchair hipster.  There really aren't enough hills between the Mission and the Loin to prevent you from biking there, I promise.    

And if for some reason my condescension wasn't enough, now you can watch a very well produced short doc that will motivate you to get out the door and/or make you feel like a total asshole for not having already been.

Fuck You All.


Tilt-Shift Photography at the SF Bike Expo

Local badass John Reiss recently emailed us to share photos of the Bicycle Film Festival. They were nice and all, but I was particularly blown away by his shots from the SF Bike Expo.  Really sick stuff.  'makes me wish I knew how to operate a camera.  So yeah, check 'em out.

(photo by John Reiss)