I guess boy bands realize that they can’t film everything in a Los Angeles sound studio and since LA is ugly as shit, they had to travel up here for some hot video. In related news, both of these songs are THE JAM.

JT is all, “Osha Thai is so tasty you see, bring more of that pad thai to meeeeee….” I don’t know, I’m cracking up over here, that shot is amazing. Also, he looks just like Joey from Blossom right there. WHOA!

Full video amazingness below:

Et tu, 98 Degrees!??

Nice 98º tattoo on your arm, bro. Bet that aged well.

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:

I can never look at the bay in the same way again. This just totally ruined sex for me. Yes, that’s how I do sex. Let your mind run wild, enjoy the show!

Hat tip to the incomparable Eddo!

I really have no idea what Rio Yañez’s latest is all about, but his illustrations are tops and I can get behind anything that uses the phrase “hella mean-muggin’.”

(see the whole thing at Mission Loc@l)

There’s a new blog in town that’s a parody of 7x7’s bold hyper-local experiment. It’s pretty funny because let’s face it NO COMMENT (KEVIN!?) but I have some suggestions for OMG the Mish! I mean, if I were gonna make a bloghomage to that particular site, I’d post many photos of myself dancing at some obscure show because i’m not fat anymore and LOOK THESE ARE MY FRIENDS*. That would be the only thing I didn’t hate on or mock because OMG THEY LIKE ME. I’d also have some choice photos of blades of grass growing through the concrete and shit like that. Then maybe I’d move somewhere else that’s not the mission and have some other people posts news 5 days too late. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE COMMENTERS. If you want to rock a true blogomage, you’re gonna have to get hateful brat commenters who hale from cities like Concord and don’t have the balls to move farther away from home. That’s the problem with the internet, it allows people who had no friends in high school to reign supreme(ish). It’s totally embarrassing. I want to beat up the internet.

Man, my parody blog would be the SHIT. If there were 35 hours in a day, I’d be all over that. I can’t wait until someone makes an Uptown Almanac blogomage. Please contact me for ideas on how to make fun of me. 

And with that, I think I alienated half of the city of San Francisco. Good, I can’t stand your ugly faces anyway, come back when you’ve plucked your eyebrows and combed that rat’s nest. GOOD NIGHT!

*I personally am fat and LOVE IT. that is why i don’t suffer from former fatkiditis and the need to be cool…that shit is the worst thing that can ever happen to a fatty. anyway, i’m just calling it like I see it. It coulda been bad acne too. 

They took nrg 92.7 away from us in its heyday. It was fucked and cruel and the death of the last indy radio voice in SF (that isn’t a fucking pirate cat). Anyway, I’ll try to relive the glory years here on Uptown Almanac by once a week posting a song that you’d only hear on nrg. It’s your weekly DANCE BREAK, SLUTS!

But first, a story. If you hate me just skip this section and get STRAIGHT TO DANCIN! My first selection is from the summer of 2005. I listened religiously to the morning show on my hellish commute to Mill Valley. My friend Mark and I were pretty much the only people who called in and it was awesome because Fernando rewarded us with things like free tickets to the Black and White Ball PATTI LABELLE HOLLER. That ball was the best night of my life, we arrived looking like Laurel and Hardy, and proceeded to eat all the food, drink all the booze, and cut past everyone in line to get into various buildings by Mark telling the security guards I was pregnant. Highlights of the night? Attempting to eat a display piece in the Asian Art Museum and physically stopping Mark from making out with Minnie Driver. Oh also, Mark spilled a drink down the front of one woman’s dress because he “didn’t like her attitude” and then we elbowed our way into the front of the Patti LaBelle concert so that we could loudly sing along to, “If you asked me to” but then Patti turned the tables on us and spent the majority of the evening just screaming her own name. AMAZING.

Ahh, to be young and carefree. Thanks for the memories, Fernando.