Activism
CBS 5 reports that the SFPD has renewed the permit necessary for High Bridge Arms to continue to function as the City's only gun store/Zombie resistance HQ. Despite the efforts of the staunch Pro-Zombie wing, San Francisco shall remain armed with a revolver-touting retail outlet on Mission St.
WHEN THERE'S NO MORE ROOM IN COLMA, THE DEAD WILL WALK THE EARTH AND WANT MISSION STYLE BURRITOS CON CABEZA DEL HUMANO.
PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONEPreviously on Uptown Almanac
IT COULD HAPPEN HERE!Today, the City will hold a hearing where pro-zombie hoards will undoubtedly attempt to strip High Bridge Arms, a Mission St gun shop, of their permit. As someone with a morbid fear of the zombie apocalypse, I stand firmly against the closing of High Bridge Arms, the City's one and only legal purveyor of firearms.
When the armies of the dead start their long march from Colma to San Francisco, we need High Bridge's cache of firearms on hand for looting. Without them, we'd be left with only novelty swords and ninja stars looted from Chinatown tourist traps. This is just poor city planning. Hopefully 'Gun Tottin Gavin' will step in and initiate a new Zombie Preparedness Initiative with TWELVE GAUGES FOR ALL YALLS.
PROTIP: Don't loot a gun store unless you're sure the owners have either fled or been zombie-fied. Looting gun shops with living owners will result in your ass getting shot off and handed to you, and then re-animating moments later as an ass-less zombie. You n00b.
CHINATOWN IS DOOMED!!!
RUMOR HAS IT THAT COLD BEER COLD WATER WILL BE THERE SELLING THREE DOLLAR PEEBURRSIf you've been reading the San Francisco shitternets over the past few days, you might have heard there is going to be a community meeting tonight at 6pm at the Mission High School cafeteria (I'll be sitting by myself at the back of the cafe, eating the PB&J and yogurt my mommy packed me). In spite of the fact I'm almost certain this will be a pointless shitshow in which geezer neighbors outnumber the majority demographic of park users, Bevan Dufty utterly fails at running a meeting, ignorant stereotypes of "hipsters" are tossed around and facts are reinvented so the blame for the trash in the park can be put solely on 20-somethings, I do honestly believe it is important for the readers of this blog to go. Why? To fight against exactly what I fear will happen. Last fall when similar meetings popped up, the under-35 crowd was outnumbered by anti-fun warriors 15:1 and it led to another summer of crackdowns. If you truly care about your right to enjoy an afternoon in the park with a squad of out-of-touch cops rolling through your park on dirt bikes, make the effort to tell Captain Corrales to get with the times.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Last night was certainly a showdown in Dolores. At 10pm, the cops rolled through the park to kick everyone out, only to immediately head out to 22nd and Capp South Van Ness to deal with an outbreak of gang violence. At 11:30, as Dolores Park neighbor and reader Michael noted, the police came back in greater numbers to finish the job:
The police closed the park at 11:30 with multiple cop cars, sirens, megaphones, etc. A cop-woman was shouting for 20 minutes straight in a plaintive tone. About 300 people stayed to protest, and the cops just kept shining bright lights at them until they left... sad state of affairs. The Sept .1 community meeting should be a fucking hoot...
You know what was more disruptive than the sound of partiers? Sirens and megaphones. Egads.
A quick Twitter search indicates there was also a Rolling Stones sing-a-long during the protest.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
I wonder if the revolution they speak of is one to keep their beer and wine license?
Every child deserves a crack at the cliche "one time at band camp" line. But for those of us who went to public schools, we know all to well that music and arts programs are always the first to get cut when the district's budget runs dry.
But there's one thing that never seems to run dry around here: ALCOHOL. The good folks at Education Through Music - Bay Area, knowing that San Francisco's most renewable resource may very well be its insatiable appetite for booze, have assembled a crack team of ETM Young Associates (we're talking 21+ volunteers, not Elementary School Kids as hilarious as that would be) to guest bartend at Elixir tonight.
From 9pm to 2am tonight, you can harass some people I know while they feebly try to apply white-collar job skills to bartending (with the best intentions). Be sure to give the asian one extra shit (and tips) because she thinks she's too cool for SF and plans to move later this week. Feel free to tell her that I sent you.
Facebook event thingy is here.
Remember when the city of Oakland rose up against Foot Locker's reign of terror and thwarted their menacing plans to sell kicks? Well, apparently Mission kids couldn't handle being upstaged by our revolutionary neighbor and opted to take over the T-Mobile building on Mission St. in order to protest Gavin Newsom's gentrification agenda. Mission Loc@l reports:
A group of housing activists occupied the vacant second floor of a building on the corner of 20th and Mission Streets Monday night and said they don’t plan to leave unless they are forced out.
T-Mobile occupies the first floor.
“We are going to vote with crowbars,” said one protester at the rally that began at 5:50 p.m. at the 16th Street BART Station.. Unlike other anti-
Of course, it wouldn't be an anti-gentrification protest without "the vehicle of gentrification" helping transport the audio equipment:
Way to go, guys.
(Link - all photos Mission Loc@l)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Not sure how legitimate these activists are. Any real protest warriors would know that they should start their protest at the 24th & Mission BART station, conveniently located next to a Foot Locker. Seriously, didn't these guys learn anything last week? Raid a shoe store and suddenly your cause is on CNN.
She set ablaze a burning trashcan fire in my heart. And now I fear that even with these lotted Jordans on my feet and the riot police to my back, I may never catch up with her again...
(via SF Weekly)Previously on Uptown Almanac
Once people started looting Foot Locker, good old Frank sat down for a cigarette and peaced out. Once again, I'm amazed that Oakland managed to wear out a man who has seen it all.
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