Heart of Oak is a streetart photographer that is apparently familiar to many but new to me and his/her stuff is covered in radsauce. The above photo features stuff like a 98-second exposure, which I'm assuming is impressive but I don't know how to operate a camera that doesn't also feature a full keyboard and the ability to dial out. Heart is also having a showing from April 10th to 23rd at the Common Ground Gallery in Berlin so, you know, why out there or something. Or you could just buy a book.
Anyways, credit to Everyday Dude to introducing me to Heart's stuff. He's one of the few people part of the favstar/one-liner's/memetwitters clique whose tumblr is actually worth reading and this is why.
But when I posted about Spanky and his awesome liquor store man-purse on my personal blog, Kevin told me such posts would be Uptown-appropriate, so ...
I gaped, ooohed and ahhed like a fuckin' dork throughout this entire clip, but justifiably, because this is so, so good.
Generic points out this "Handy Map of San Francisco Bay" made way back in a 1938 Cartoon Guide to California posted on Strange Maps back in 2008. I want this book so I can spill beer and pizza sauce all over while reading it while in the bathroom. Also, my map would have hella fog, unicorns running around the peninsula while drinking Red Bull and throwing money out of convertibles and mad sea creatures in the ocean.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
This meme is already played out but I was particularly impressed with this execution.
Whisper Shouts, which is a contender for both the best and most ludicrous blog name, reports that this Muni stop is not only among, but the nicest Muni stop in the city.
yeah the Fillmore has never had decent mexican food, ever. There use to be Poblano something on golden gate and fillmore that shit was edible at least. Fucking La Salsa shut down, that was like Taco Bell but with 50% less dog food. Some how Fillmore Mexican Grill is still in business. I don't know how the fuck that has happened, motherfuckers got sriracha on the tables. Look I'm down to give other races chances but when the Korean dude running the place can't buy tapatio you know the place is fucked. I don't even know if he's Korean but he's asian and considering the Koreans already own everything down there I'm going roll with that. Besides they already run the sushi spots, why not take over the mexican food too.
Anyways this isn't about the Korean's, it's about their burritos made of cardboard and sludge accompanied by completely clueless awkward service. This combination of sucks naturally means that yelptards give it good reviews for "freshness." Hey assholes, my shits are fresh too but I don't eat them. Fuck this place, I can't even tell you what I've eaten at this place because the fucking gruel they shovel into tortillas is so fucking bland all memory of what I actually ate there escapes me.
In the wake of La Salsa closing down Tacobar is opening this month. They are going with the freshness tag too but I got more faith in these dudes than Fillmore Mexican Grill. I mean fuck, you really can't do any worse than all the other dumbasses who've tried to have taquerias on Fillmore. The closest competition is El Super Burrito on polk and that shit taste like a bucket of rotten dicks. You got Burrito Express on Divis which sometimes gets a edible pass but barely. Tortilla Whites if you want to get your happy hour on with a room full of Becky's and Chad's stuffing their faces with whitebread nachos and bowls of margarita bullshit. I'm really hoping Tacobar can come through, making a decent fucking taco can not be that fucking hard. I can't even get tacos delivered anymore from the tenderloin (yeah it was that bad) since El Patron closed. I don't always want to roll to the mission or make tacos myself. I just want to give someone some fucking money and eat some goddamn tacos. Can't a motherfucker live?
Fuck I need to get out of this neighborhood, it's killing me.
I don't know anyone who couldn't love this map. It still lists CC as "Army," which people that are not "fucking transplants" that are "ruining MY city" tell me is what "real" San Franciscans call it. What that incoherent sentence meant was "this map is legit." Sex Pigeon provides additional commentary.
This Belizean beer company sure knows how to market themselves. The badboys at Belikin welded their logo to bike racks and put them around town. Gold. I feel like beer companies in the Yay should start doing this: SF loves bikes, bikes and booze go together like William Shatner and dead baby jokes, and our broke-ass city need more bike racks and as long as a cool brand that the city already identifies with / could identify with if the company's marketing team told us to identify with them is footing the bill, we could have hella bike racks sporting rad aluminum logos too. Whose snatch do I have to give lackluster head to at city hall to get a bunch of Uptown Almanac bike racks outside The Uptown?
Out of respect for Jesus and my trashed liver, I decided to not drink today and instead opted to see what was happening back in the Mission while watching the Sox and Steven Tyler embarrass himself in the 7th. Well, snap, some foreign tourist (read: terrorist) was "iMugged" today. Snaps all around! Also, "iMugged" is Mission Local's word, not mine. The only words I like to make up are prefixed with "fuck" or "fart" or "zomg."