Beers & Bondage

Citizen Fox: A New Brewery Headed For the Mission

The bombed out shithole across the street from the best vegetarian banh mi in the Mission is finally being renovated and put to use. Citizen Fox, a brewery/restaurant to be located on the corner of 18th and Mission Street, is slated to open in late 2014. And while I’m thankful that this isn’t some craft cocktail “experience” dropped on us by the visionaries behind the upcoming new and improved Pop’s, I’m made more than a little wary by the ratio of buzzwords to content on Citizen Fox’s blog.

It only takes three sentences for Rich Higgins, Citizen Fox’s brewmaster, to start talking about his plans to “offer education” and “develop community.” I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even possible for someone in 2014 San Francisco to drop the bullshit and just open a restaurant that serves food. Afterall, this is a brewery, not an expansion of the Women’s Building.

Other tired platitudes that make an appearance:

The opening beer menu at Citizen Fox will be influenced by the things I love most about the Mission District — it’s warmth, liveliness, and vibrancy. […]

I’ll draw on a variety of European brewing traditions […] while infusing them with the creativity that’s such a big part of San Francisco’s hip food, craft beer, and cocktail scene.

Maybe Citizen Fox really will contribute positively to the community (in addition to the obvious benefit that it’s another spot to get drunk on artisan craft brews). For example, in an attempt to follow through on their promise to offer education, Citizen Fox is proposing a 10 month, 35-hour a week internship program that requires the following duties:

  • Attentive learning, training, and communication
  • Working while being watched by a curious public
  • Entering dimly lit and/or enclosed spaces occasionally
  • Frequent bending over, squatting, working above your head, working on ladders, working on knees, working on the floor
  • Repeated gripping and manual twisting of clamps, tools, and hoses

This exciting “journey into the craft brewing industry” reads less like an education curriculum and more like the rider on Kink.com’s “Public Disgrace: Brewery Edition.” But, hey, it pays $15,000.00. So fuck it, I’ll see you at the brewery.

[via Inside Scoop]

Love in the Time of Tinder

The Mission’s Got a Live Dating Game Show

Of course the city that recently ranked #1 on Rent.com’s list of best cities for singles (39% single adults?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!!) has a live dating game show. The updated take on the saccharine, hetero-normative classic has been playing at Z Space for the better part of a year now. The creatively named ‘Z Dating Game’ is set up like the old show: 1 single person interviews 3 others in front of a crowd of strangers. Features that make this version particularly San Francisco:

  • Gay and Lesbian Rounds
  • Interpretive dance of people’s embarrassing sex stories
  • The venue is an old warehouse, repurposed as a theater/art gallery, because of course it is
  • From what I can tell, everyone is drunk
  • The press release is ironic: “Remember, the path to true love is always easier with hundreds of strangers vocally questioning your every step.”

This shameless exploitation of horny singles happens every couple of months. Z Dating Game is this Saturday, 8pm at Z Space (450 Florida St.). Advanced tickets can be purchased for $10 here, and are $20 at the door.

Maybe Dylan MacNiven Can Buy Them?

Lost Weekend Video In an "Immediate Crisis," Struggling to Stay Open

Perhaps old video stores need to die. We all stream our movies on Popcorn Time or Netflix or via your friend’s ex-girlfriend’s parent’s HBO Go password anyway.

But Lost Weekend Video is just shy of their 20th anniversary, and it would be a shame to lose them. Their staff is friendly and knowledgable, they allow some of California’s best up-and-coming stand-up comedians to perform in their basement, and they always have that obscure movie Big Streaming’s licensing agreements forgot. However their business is plummeting, and now they’re fighting for survival.

An open letter being circulated spells out the problem:

Times are tough at Lost Weekend Video! We’ve seen business suddenly drop by 30% just in the last few months, on top of the 60% hit we’ve already taken over the last few years. This has thrown us into pretty immediate crisis. We’d been working with an architect & the City to open a larger version of the Cinecave in the back half of the main space upstairs, but have found that it’s impossible due to a combination of the layout of the building & Valencia Street business restrictions. That has left us pretty much out of options.

So now we’re looking at the Le Video solution to keep us open. If anyone knows anyone with an actual solid business plan interested in sharing the upstairs space with us, please have them contact us via the website. It’d be great to find something that fit in with our old school Valencia vibe & could provide an opportunity for someone who wouldn’t be able to afford V St otherwise. Spread the word or if nothing else, rent a movie, see some comedy or come watch the soccer with us & throw a buck or two in the bucket. We’re a year away from 20, it’d be nice to see it!

In an interview with the SF Bay Guardian, Lost Weekend co-owner David Hawkins frames their struggle as not strictly about neighborhood video stores, but the future of community spaces in the Mission:

This is not just about video stores. This is about so many different kinds of retail that are going to disappear from all kinds of neighborhoods as this goes on. And if that’s the way that everybody wants to go, then that’s the way we’re gonna go. But if people stop and think about what’s cool about having some diversity of retail in your neighborhood — there’s something to be said about these kinds of places where you can just go in, browse around, and you don’t necessarily have to buy anything. It’s place to hang out and meet people, talk to people.

Lost Weekend might be hard to save—modern laptops don’t even come with disc drives anymore. But if you want to see them stick around, go see a show in Cynic Cave. Geek out on their Asteroids machine. Or, hell, rent a movie.

[Photo: Todd Lappin | h/t SF Weekly]

RIP Dive Bars

Esta Noche, Gone and Gutted

In what has been a lethal year for Mission dives, Esta Noche has now joined the ranks of The Attic, Pop’s, and Jack’s Club as gutted dives.

While we had known about famed LGBT hot spot’s closing since February, it stings to see it in such condition—especially right before Pride weekend. And it’s made even worse by what’s to come: A new lounge from WISH, who brands themselves as a “New York style lounge featuring the best local House music DJ’s in a […] sexy den of wood, leather, red velvet, and glowing candles.”

[Photo: Gerard Koskovich]

Local Comedy

Uptown Almanac Presents FREE BEER (And A Comedy Showcase)

We’ve already had six editions of our Locally-Sourced Pop-Up Comedy Night. So for our seventh show on Tuesday, July 1st, we’re bringing seven of our favorite Bay Area comedians to Z Space for a night of laughs and hella free Pabst Blue Ribbon.

In addition to free beer, the political comedy mastermind and SF Weekly’s “Best Comedian” Nato Green will be headlining (you might also remember Nato from the time he organized a crop of comics to stand up against the Ellis Act). And local heartthrob Joey Devine will also be taking the reigns as host.

What’s more? The show also features:

  • Johan Miranda
  • Jesse Hett
  • Pabst Blue Ribbon
  • Eloisa Bravo
  • Jason Dove
  • and Gabby Poccia

Both the doors and the bar open at 7pm, with the show beginning at 8pm. Only $10! It all takes place at Z Space at 450 Florida (at 17th) on July 1st and advanced tickets are available now.

Art!

Tonight: San Francisco Street Photography at The Old Mint

Several of this blog’s favorite photographers, including the oft-featured Brian Brophy (a.k.a. The Tens) and Troy Holden, are part of a big street photography opening tonight at the Old Mint (88 5th Street). Brian gives us all the details:

The exhibit is called Side Walks and features street photography from the downtown neighborhoods, including shots from seven of us total: Chris Beale, Brian Brophy, Reynaldo Cayetano Jr., Brandon Doran, Troy Holden, David Root, and Oscar Santos. We’ve also put together a zine featuring all of work that will be available for purchase.

Also, there will be a dude playing accordion. And there will be pianos out in Mint Plaza open for anyone to play.

Also opening along Side Walks is Neighbors, a solo exhibit from Troy Holden documenting ordinary San Franciscans:

Neighbors is a photographic essay project by Troy Holden showcasing 50 portraits of individuals and families from the Tenderloin, Central Market and SOMA neighborhoods of San Francisco. Holden’s photos offer an intimate glimpse into the lives of each person or family, portraying them in their homes or place of work. Participants of the project hope that the public exhibits of these portraits will both identify and showcase the youth, families, seniors and individuals who call these neighborhoods home.

Tonight’s opening goes from 6 til 9pm. But if you can’t catch the show tonight, the works will be on display every Sunday through August 17th.

Dolores Buzzkill

SFPD Back to Hassling Dolores Park Picnickers Over Booze

Last month, we reported that Dolores Park’s irritable neighbors were once again demanding SFPD to increase their patrolling of the park. Now, according to SFist, cops were in the park yesterday afternoon giving grief to people drinking.

[We’d] just like to inform you that we’re receiving a first-person account today of cops roaming through a mildly crowded southern half of the park on this beautiful, sunny Wednesday afternoon, forcing people to empty their bottles and cans into the grass. So rude.

SFist goes on to remind us that, yes, it is illegal to drink and smoke cigarettes in the park. While those “quality of life crimes” have never been a typical high priority for the department, it seems the pressure to crackdown in Dolores is back on.

[SFist, Photo: colleenvonhenry]

Valenciughhhhhh

"Lazy is the New Cool," Says Forthcoming Hammock Cafe

No longer content with mere reclaimed wood adorning their cafes, hopeful Mission District coffee shop proprietors have been scouring the globe for new ways make their locations stand out. First, KitTea borrowed the idea of pairing tea with cats from Japan, creating America’s first-ever cat cafe. Now there’s Paresse Café, a hammock and “exotic fish tank table” cafe that’s slated to open this fall on “San Francisco’s historic Valencia Street.” 

Paresse Café’s overly optimistic $150,000 IndieGoGo campaign explains the absurdity:

Inspired by the fact that we all deserve a happy break from the work and the stress in our daily life but that we have no time nor tele-transportation power to go to Hawaii, we decided to bring an instant of holiday into the city.

Paresse Café will be the first ever Hammock Café in the USA and the first Café in the world where you can enjoy delicious and beautiful Art Food raw fruits and vegetables salads or cold pressed juice cocktails, while admiring happy & rescued colored fishes dancing.

They even created a helpful infographic to help us better understand their vision:

Paresse will also be offering 20 minute “seated massages,” monthly art exhibitions, and a daily 6-7pm “lazy hour” featuring live musicians, who will play for record sale proceeds and promotion on Paresse’s website “to help them get famous.”

Below, their crowdfunding promotional video:

[via SF Weekly]

Animal House

Free Beer and Animals at Tonight's SF SPCA's Adoption Center Grand Re-Opening

SF SPCA’s Mission District adoption center (and venue for many fine animal-filled parties) has been under renovation for the better part of a year, but they’re ready to unveil their new digs this evening. Promising new features like an “indoor dog park and San Francisco-themed cat condos,” the SPCA states the new space-saving setup will allow them to “save an extra 1,000 lives each year.”

“When our old adoption center opened in 1998, it was the first shelter in the country to house animals in condominium-style rooms instead of cages,” said SF SPCA co-president Jason Walthall. “Our old shelter changed the way adoptions happen and vastly improved the lives of shelter animals. With our new adoption center we’re once again setting the standard for shelters across the country; it’s the perfect example of why San Francisco is one of the most progressively humane cities in the world.”

The new adoption center was designed to make animals as comfortable and safe as possible during their stay at the shelter. An indoor dog park will give dogs the opportunity to play, socialize, and meet their new families. Meanwhile, cats will enjoy more vertical space to climb, play, and explore. In addition, the shelter features a new section for small mammals like rabbits, hamsters, and guinea pigs.

The party goes from 4-10pm tonight at 16th and Florida, and comes stocked with “an open bar, several food truck options, and fee-waived adoptions for adult animals.” Also, there will be cats on the Golden Gate Bridge.

Politics

Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi is Running For Re-Election Despite Domestic Violence Charge

San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi is fucked. While some think of him as a victim of an Ed Lee-driven witchhunt against progressives, most see him as a wife-beating monster unfit for office. Voters wanted to see him removed from office by a 2-to-1 margin, political insiders shun him, and tech billionaires are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to remind voters of the charges once filed against Mirkarimi.

Yet in spite of being politically finished, Mirkarimi is running for re-election, according to papers filed earlier this year with the city’s Ethics Commission.

Perhaps even more bizarre than the fact Mirkarimi is bothering with running is that he’s keeping the campaign a secret. Typically, politicians celebrate filing re-election paperwork with a rally on the steps of City Hall, hoping to drum up some media attention and campaign donations. But for Mirkarimi, it was just boring old paperwork. In fact, he hasn’t even mentioned the campaign to the press since The Chronicle interviewed him about a prospective run last October.

And when it comes to money, Mirkarimi’s future looks even more grim. Financial data for Mirkarimi’s 2015 campaign committee hasn’t yet been posted by the Ethics Commission. However, his January filing indicates he raised no money in 2013, and his campaign account balance is so low that Wells Fargo is charging him a monthly service fee.

According to The Chronicle, domestic violence advocates are already looking at potential challengers. As Beverly Upton of San Francisco Domestic Violence Consortium put it, “I don’t believe that San Francisco will have amnesia.”