Welcome to the Tenderloin: America's Shitter

This graphic review of the Tenderloin comes to us from Big Pilpn', my new favorite source for bright, flashing colors and heroin needles stuck into hill tops.  Unfortunately, Biggie Pilp hasn't gotten to giffing up the other neighborhoods of our fine city, but if we're lucky, he'll tackle the Haight, skip all the other neighborhoods, and go straight to showing us what he thinks of Los Angeles.

Street Food Turns Into Casanova Lounge for Food Dorks

Do you like Street Food?  Are you single?  Are you shitty at picking up people in bars?  Well, you're in luck.  July 27th at 7pm on Linda and 19th, the street food clan is having a “stop light party.”  That's right, dress your relationship status:

  • Green: Single
  • Yellow: Complicated
  • Red: In a relationship

I'll be the guy dressed in black, the color of my soul, and wearing a messenger bag full of 40oz.  See you there!

.gif Continues to be the Hipster File Format of 2010

Alright this shit is so legit I can hardly contain myself.  When Geocities shut down down last year, I thought we put a nail in the animated gif coffin, because, fuck, do we really need a spinning @ telling people to email us? But with local legend Rio Yanez embracing the format (above), with strong backings from Colin Macfadyen (below), it appears the gif is making its urban revival.

I mean, guys, these gifs are so insane it is even breaking the Uptown Almanac ROCK SOLID CODEBASE:

I don't even know what this fucking error message means yo

The most important thing to note about the GIF PARTY breaking out on the internet everywhere is that youtube baiting has moved to gif.  For example, if Perez Hilton tweeted out something like, “If you are easily offended, do NOT click here. Oh, Miley! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!” and linked to this, teenage girls everyone would off themselves with embarrassment.

Cool Kid Animal Sightings: Snail

Saw this snail on Capp St. today.  Thought it was totally adorable but figured you jackasses would be all “wtf, why is there a goddamn snail on this goddamn blog?”  Therefore, I augmented the snail for your entertainment.