Bender's

How Long Does It Take You to Pee On a Mission Sidewalk?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you answered 52 seconds, you're just a hair faster than this industry dirtbag:

This amazing, 720p spectacle is brought to us by Blowing It In San Francisco, which after a mere 2 posts has established itself as a fine San Francisco blog.  I mean, this is one epic find: it's some dude pissing outside of BENDER'S BAR AND GRILL while cars wiz past and pedestrians stroll by seemingly unaware.  During the motherfucking day.

Who said the Mission can't keep it classy?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

"It's my 21st birthday. Do I really need an ID?"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Despite how much we shit on the Chronicle, they occasionally run an interesting piece.  For example, yesterday they profiled local bouncers, including our pal Sam of Bender's:

How do you spot a fake ID?
The feel. If the numbers don't match up. Black light. Anything that looks questionable, I just send them away.

What's the worst excuse you've heard for not having an ID?
“It's my 21st birthday. Do I really need an ID?”

Probably my favorite part of the piece was Bill of Zeitgeist:

What's the worst excuse you've heard for not having an ID?
“I just came from the Marina.”

Anyway, check out the full piece.

(Hat tip Mission Loc@l)

EAT SHIT WEIRD FISH: Bender's Bringing Back the Seitan Menu

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

OH SNAP.  Currently they only have the tacos but a source inside Bender’s culinary labs tells me they are devising a way to have variation of the deep friend hell fish and buffalo girls that we all hold close to our hearts again.  Possibly as soon as next week!  All we need now is fried pickles.  Anyways, the expert panel of Uptown reviewers agree: the tacos are tops.  Even better than before.

Go get ‘em now: seitan is ots everyday (except Sunday and Monday because they cook other shit like veggie burgers and sushi).

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Given the success of "Hipster Puppies," I think I should start "Indie Rock Puppies"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

All I wanted to do yesterday was ravage a black bean burger and drink some generic-yet-strikingly-sexy American beer; so I rolled into Bender’s and was immediately confronted by some Fernet-sponsored afternoon sideshow.  Yahweh clearly wasn’t going to be parting the sea of scenesters covered in red stage lighting for me, so opted to hang out in the back making fleeting hand-grabbing motions at the unplugged pinball machine.  Then I spotted the scene below.  Front row at an indie-row concert: this poor dog had ‘teh fear’ in his eyes.  The owner even attempted to cover the dog’s ears when their fashion-accessory became visibly unsettled.  It didn’t work but the. show. must. go. on.

I guess this is what it takes to be cool in the authenticity arms race?

Bender's Reborn, Weird Fish Implodes

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mac n cheese, prior to being baked

Went to Bender’s Grill last night to try their new menu.  PRETTY SOLID.  They have a house made black bean vegan burger that is quite good (also tasty with cheddar cheese on top) and waffle fries.  Truthfully, this was the first time I had waffle fries since high school, which sort of brought me back a little bit.  For some reason those fries made me find an empty table so I could sit by myself.  Anyways, Justin also whipped up some awe-inspiring mac n cheese.  Additionally, a meat eater reports that the chicken parm was “only ok.”

The final verdict is that the new menu at Bender’s is good, but it isn’t nearly as memorable, or addictive, as the old Weird Fish menu.  Bender’s, you need to get serious.  This is bar food.  You need to get a deep fryer.

In other news, Weird Fish, the formerly awesome restaurant that made the Bender’s grill the best goddamn place in the city, has completely lost their shit and ruined their own business.  Closed for lunch everyday and closed ALL DAY on Sunday.  Plus all the good stuff on their menu is gone.  NIXED.  No more.  Larbage, a generally non-newsy blog, has the scoop on this.

 

Pages