Dear Tree Killer, I BET You Kick Puppies and Drown Kittens!

Whoa, someone is just slightly mad at a 22nd St. tree killer.  Don't get me wrong, I like trees.  No, no, I love trees.  They make great bike racks.  But I'd argue that killing a tree is much, much worse than killing a kitten.  The death of a tree affects us all.  Killing a kitten just results in a few less JPG lulz and a slight increase in office productivity, you dick.

"It's my 21st birthday. Do I really need an ID?"

Despite how much we shit on the Chronicle, they occasionally run an interesting piece.  For example, yesterday they profiled local bouncers, including our pal Sam of Bender's:

How do you spot a fake ID?
The feel. If the numbers don't match up. Black light. Anything that looks questionable, I just send them away.

What's the worst excuse you've heard for not having an ID?
“It's my 21st birthday. Do I really need an ID?”

Probably my favorite part of the piece was Bill of Zeitgeist:

What's the worst excuse you've heard for not having an ID?
“I just came from the Marina.”

Anyway, check out the full piece.

(Hat tip Mission Loc@l)

Red Dawn 2010: San Francisco

(Photo via Governor Schwarzenegger's Twitter)

The Governator welcomed Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to San Francisco earlier this evening.  I'm kinda disappointed they didn't send Ivan Drago (HE MUST BREAK YOU).  Also disappointed that Arnie, with all his action cred, didn't do anything to stop this Red Invasion.  

According to SF Appeal, the Russians are after San Francisco's most valuable natural resource… Twitter.   Leave it to Gavin to quickly become collaborator #1 in the Russian Occupation of SF; he'll be facilitating Medvedev's access to Twitter HQ  tomorrow, where they will undoubtedly steal all our tweets for study and dissection back at ChatRoulette Labs.  

Avenge Me!  WOLVERINES!!!

Q: If Red Dawn took place in the Mission today, what would be the name of our youth based resistance cell?

  • Trustafarian Terrors
  • Fauxhemian Fangs
  • The Blue Ribbons
  • …?

GOAL TROLL

The Culprit

For those of you who didn't show up to work on time after last week's early morning US v Slovenia game, below is a screencap of what FIFA ref Koman Coulibaly's wiki entry read for about 20 mins before the buzzkills took it down.  It was recently announced that Coulibaly would not be officiating in the next round of games.  YELLOWCARDED MOTHERFUCKER. 

Highlights include:

  • “Coulibaly is rumoured to hate the United States of America with the burning passion of a white hot sun.” 
  • “Coulibaly's exploits have drawn comparisons to such sporting pariahs as Jim Joyce, Don Denkinger, Tim Donaghy, and even BP CEO Tony Heyward.”

If you're interested in seeing the US stomp all over Algeria in a match that isn't ref'd by Koman 'LOL Whut?' Coulibaly, you are welcome to freeze your ass off at the Civic Center tomorrow at 7am.

Pinkwashing in San Francisco

The Tenderloin Geographic Society, the Tumblr buzzblog of 2010, spotted this weekend, noting:

Dear Gay Tourist,
I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t care what kind of hovel I live in so long as I wake up in San Francisco everyday!  Yay!” If that is you, then Market and 8th is your new home.

Well, TTGS has labeled this “pinkwashing” and I couldn't agree more.  Take this ad:

Oh fuck you and your shitty puns.  This blog could make a ton of puns as well trying to 'expand our base', but we don't because we're not tools.  I feel like brands don't really respect gays so they think they can just make grammar school puns to sell wrapping paper marketed as news.  For example, what if the Chronicle wanted to connect with another minority group during, say, Black History Month?

Or maybe Cinco de Mayo:

Or perhaps Chinese New Year:

Either they would be recognized as fans of Ol' Dirty Bastard/Full Metal Jacket or, more likely, as patronizing assholes.

Sutro Tower Tattoos

Jeff McC was at Zeitgeist for the Tamale Lady's birthday when he peeped some Sutro Tower ink.  I'm pretty sure this is the most definitive proof that a person, at one time or another, lived in The City.  Yeah, I guess you could get a tattoo of the Golden Gate Bridge to prove you lived in the East Bay (??), but that's some tourist shit.  Your tattoo is only cool if people east of Antioch have to ask you what it means.

Seems like Sutro tats are not all that rare.  Elly has a pretty epic one of her back:

(photo by ekai)

And Chrisr got this design off Etsy:

TATTOOS, 60S SOUL + DRUNK

I've seen some videos past month's parties and basically it's an orgy of PBR 24s, video of people skateboard/riding fixies/smoking 'mad herb' on a projector and a metric fuckton of tattoos.  Should be fun!

More Info.