WE DID IT GUYS!!

One hundred eighty one goddamn dollars!  The Bay Citizen is now fiscally sound thanks to our generous readers and the willingness of Shotwell's to allow us to make a mockery out of the art of pouring beer.  Anyways, some reader at the bar refused to tip because, and I quote, “there is no way that money is actually going to the Bay Citizen.  I know you're just going to pocket it and blow it away.”  HAR HAR HAR GOOD ONE SINBAD.  So, there you have it, check in the mail.  Best of all, I'm pretty sure we can write this money off as a charitable donation, which is awesome because this blog loses so much goddamn money every month I'm sure a charitable donation is going to matter.

Why am I taking photographs and not bartending right now?

Anyways, I'd say the highlight of the night was watching a narc busting prostitutes outside the bar.  I snapped some pics because exposing narcs is one of my pastimes, but the guy seemed relatively nice so you don't get to see his face.  Sorryboutit:

"Bro in hipster staches, skinny jeans, elvis wigs and bee costumes lipsynching to My First Earthquake"

Reader Jamie sends this our way and also notes “Sorry, no bikes.”

NO BIKES.  WTF.

Anyways, it's pretty cool but the end of the video is kind of whack.  Maybe I just didn't get it but I had that feeling in my stomach that I get when I watch someone do something really awkward or embarrassing and I feel awful for them.  Kind of like the feeling you probably get reading this blog.

.gif Continues to be the Hipster File Format of 2010

Alright this shit is so legit I can hardly contain myself.  When Geocities shut down down last year, I thought we put a nail in the animated gif coffin, because, fuck, do we really need a spinning @ telling people to email us? But with local legend Rio Yanez embracing the format (above), with strong backings from Colin Macfadyen (below), it appears the gif is making its urban revival.

I mean, guys, these gifs are so insane it is even breaking the Uptown Almanac ROCK SOLID CODEBASE:

I don't even know what this fucking error message means yo

The most important thing to note about the GIF PARTY breaking out on the internet everywhere is that youtube baiting has moved to gif.  For example, if Perez Hilton tweeted out something like, “If you are easily offended, do NOT click here. Oh, Miley! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!” and linked to this, teenage girls everyone would off themselves with embarrassment.

Hog & Rocks Getting Ready to Open?

A new restaurant by the dude that owns Maverick is going in at 19th and San Carlos.  Eater first reported about this place 6 months ago, so they are certainly taking their sweet time.  No details about the menu and the Irish guy installing the menu window certain didn't look like he wanted to talk to me.  Anyways, I know I'm going on a fucking limb here, but I suspect they are going to serve pig and bourbon.

CRAZY ALERT: Proposed Amendment to Allow Any Asshole to Appeal Any Event

This is so fucked I'm just going to let this email we received from Dana Ketcham speak for itself:

I want to alert you to a proposed charter amendment that the Board of Supervisors will be considering in a hearing at 10 am on Friday on the 2nd Floor of City Hall. I apologize for the late notice but I just learned about the hearing.

This amendment would potentially allow any event permit issue by San Francisco Rec and Parks Dept. to be appealed  by any member of the public that opposes the permit. The appeal would go to the Board of Appeals (a lengthy process). This amendment could make it extremely difficult to do events because:

  1. Any permit could be appealed by anyone. Basically every park in this city has at least one vocal neighbor that does not want events at the park. This includes Justin Hermann, Union Square, Golden Gate Park, Dolores and many others.  In addition, there are other park groups who oppose events in parks in general.
  2. There is no time frame on the appeal process so you would have an appeal pending making it impossible to plan for your event. If the Board of Appeals does not hear the appeal, you can proceed with it but it would be uncertain if it would get to your appeal. We know the months of planning that goes into the events.

We believe that all of you do valuable work on a number of types of events ranging from fun events in our parks to fund-raisers for not for profit organizations to cultural celebrations.  These would be curtailed.

As part of the permit process with SFRPD, SFRPD works hard with each of you to be responsive to members of the community and their concerns and ask each of you to do community outreach as part of the permit process to address their concerns. If there are significant issues SFRPD tries to resolve them and if necessary takes the permit to the Recreation and Park Commission.

I urge you or the organizations you represent to appear at this hearing to learn about this proposal and to express your views. The meeting is at 10 am on Friday in the 2nd Floor of City Hall. The best thing is if you can appear in person . If you can not, I urge you to email the members of the Board of Supervisors who are on the Committee that are hearing this appeal. They are:

If this proceeds it will be a ballot initiative on the November ballot. It would also provide the members of the Recreation and Park Commission would be appointed in part by the Board of Supervisors.

TRAGIC: Crackpots SUCCESSFULLY Block Improved Cellphone Service for Dolores Park

Remember back when we laughed at a completely ludicrous protest of NIMBY neighbors claiming that making cellphones work in the northwest corner of the Mission would hurt the children?  Well, guess what, the protest actually fucking worked.  In spite of the fact there is no scientific proof backing their claims that the celltower would cause you to turn into a swamp monster, T-Mobile backed down and withdrew their permit application.

From known neighborhood troll Gideon Kramer:

As you may know, T-Mobile applied for a permit to install a cell phone tower in the spire of St. Matthew's Episcopal Church, 3281 16th St., across from Mission Dolores. Neighbors very concerned about the adverse health effects of radiofrequency microwave emissions from cellphone towers (see www.discoverrealanswers.com/Cell_Towers.shtml if interested in learning more) [ED NOTE: Any site that is called “Discover Real Answers”  or “RON PAUL FORUMS” and ends in .shtml IS NOT TO BE FUCKING TRUSTED], especially in the vicinity of so many schools as we have here in the Mission Dolores neighborhood, protested, and did so successfully.

We just learned that T-Mobile has withdrawn its application. Congratulations to all who made this happen.

Congratulations to all who made this happen.  You're all officially tools.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smoke a parliament, drink Jameson all night, eat fast food, microwave a frozen dinner, call someone on my cellphone without using a headset, sit out in the sun without a shirt on all day, and cover myself in bugspray because I heard it was going to be a really bad year for mosquitos.

Signed,
One of your precious fucking children