This happened.

Excuse me while I shiver alone in the dark and process this for awhile…

The following screenshots are taken directly from the email that I, and undoubtedly the entire Mission has now received from Uber, a towncar taxi service that uses an iPhone dispatching app. The content was not edited in any way. They really wrote this and distributed it, probably with the belief that it was a good idea.  The entire writing staff of Uptown could spend an entire weekend addressing this, line by line.  Every sentence warrants commentary and satire. But of course I, like everyone else, was so completely and utterly shocked that I just had to post it in its entirety and inadvertently aid in their marketing…  

Maybe they thought they were being ironic. But if their goal was to appeal to 'MIssion hipsters' through irony, they failed.  The whole thing just shows a complete lack of understanding of the demographic's sensibilities. All 'ZOMG they dont kno whut a hipstar is!' nonsense aside, this is still only $5 off of a ride that they would charge you about $45 for. No iPhone dispatch app is worth that. Just get a cab.

(Thanks UberCab, way to jump the shark)