Imagine my horror the other night as I spotted this hiptard out of the corner of my eye while drinking at Uptown.  As this crappy picture shows, this dudebro was hanging out at the bar and rocking a Hitler mustache with zero shame.  So many things rushed through my mind: do I talk to him to figure out what motivates someone to do this?  Is he Jewish and trying to take irony to a macabre next level?  Should I smash my bottle over the bar and stab him in the throat?

Ultimately murder seemed like a bad idea—plus I was too intoxicated to properly wield a broken bottle—and the idea of trying to talk to a person like this made me want to die.  Instead, I just was that creepy guy who sneaked a picture of Hipster Hitler IRL and bounced to a bar that wouldn't let someone like this in.  Even so, what the fuck?