FUCK BIKE THIEVES

SFPD Recovers 100+ Stolen Bikes in Oakland

HEY YO, IS THAT YOUR STOLEN MAGNA?  If so, SFPD recovered it during what we presume was a giant bike theft bust in Oakland.  In all, 116 bikes were recovered, most of them unfortunately parted out and left unrideable.  But, hey, it's better than no bike, right?

You can look at a Word Doc released by SFPD's Mission Station to see if your old bike is there.  SFPD also notes, “Several recent bike thefts occurred where victims left their bicycles in their vehicles. Your bicycle is not safe in a locked vehicle.”

[via SFist]

This is What SFPD Busting a Bike Thief Looks Like

For all the shit we give SFPD for harassing cyclists, sometimes they go out and do wonderful things for the biking community.  Like busting open Bobby the Bike Thief, or put this guy's face on the sidewalk.  And while I couldn't find any details on this particular bust, other than photographer SF SCUM took this photo last week and it appears to have gone down on Market Street, just seeing this stuff warms my cynical little heart.

Find This Bicycle, Get Whiskey Shots

While I recognize this blog isn't Craigslist, I feel somewhat responsible for this bike's disappearance from outside of Bender's last night by way of dumping trays of whiskey shots in front of my friends until awful hours in the morning. So, dearest Uptown Almanac readers, should you find Alissa's black Pake bicycle, we'll reward you by taking you to Bender's and showering you with trays full of whiskey shots.

It's pretty much the only bike in San Francisco I've ever seen with a multicolored chain, so if you see anyone riding a black bike with said chain, you have the green light to tackle them off the bike and liberate it from the clutches of bike thievery.

More details on the bike here.

Mission Police Station Creates Database of Recovered Stolen Bikes

When Mission Station isn't busy shipping resources downtown to harass the gentle and unemployed, they're doing real police work.  Like running a sting operation to catch bike thieves.

So what does that mean for you, thee of the liberated bicycle?  Well, you might actually be able to get your ride back, should your bike be listed on SFPD's new stolen bike site.  The database isn't exactly brimming with stolen bikes waiting to be reunited with their owners or anything like that, but it's a step in the right direction.

And in the event your bike is lifted in the future, Mission Station offers some precautionary tips for making sure you get your bike back quickly:

Mark your bicycle so that you can easily prove it's yours.  Some fire station or police departments sell bicycle licenses, which is one way to label your bicycle.  There are links to online registries.  You can also simply write your name on a piece of paper and slip it inside the handlebars.  Or write your name underneath your seat with an indelible marker.

Bike Thief Tackled Attempting to Steal Bike, Gets His Own Bike Stolen in Return

Our pals at the Get Outdoors Blog alert us to this video of a woman administering a sweet dose of street justice to a would be bike thief:

Kristen Bell, creative associate at WCG, dished out some justice when a would be bike thief outside her  offices in San Francisco tried to ride off with a colleague's bike.

They didn't kick the shit out of the thief or chase him down, which struck me as unfortunate when I first saw the video.  However, that ended up being a smart idea, as the thief apparently pulled a knife on security guards as he was running away.

But not all hope of avenging the crime was lost, as The Bay Citizen brings us this:

Bell said that before trying to steal the WCG intern's bike, the thief apparently had chained his own bicycle to a sign outside the building. During the courtyard scuffle, he dropped the key to his lock.

The key ended up in the hands of building security guards, who happened to notice the improperly locked bicycle. They unlocked the bike and confiscated it, Bell said.

The whole ordeal is beautiful to watch unfold.  Action starts about 25 seconds in:

Stolen Brooks Saddles: The Latest Boom Industry?

Reader Neb hips us to this Craigslist post on the subject

I was at the Laney College flea market yesterday, and there were many, many Brooks saddles to be had, black & brown, sprung & unsprung, most in great shape, and most with the post still attached. Of course, the bikes were no longer attached, and the sellers did not appear to be avid cyclists. I asked a couple sellers and the price seems to be around $50-60.

This seems to an industry in bloom - Invest in a saddle lock, but if and when your saddle is stolen, you'll know where to find it!  

Coincidentally, my buddy Ben, he of getting-his-bike-stripped-outside-of-Doc's-Clock-then-losing-it-off-his-bike-rack fame, had two, that's right, TWO Brooks saddles stolen last month.  He built the bike up on Christmas Eve, taking all the usual precautions (chaining the saddle to the frame and wrapping the chain in a tube).  Yet, he still had his new saddle stolen 36 hours later while his bike was parked on Market outside the Westfield.  His conclusion was to buy a third, crappier saddle and take it with him every time he parked his bike.  My conclusion was that fate intended for him to be a rollerblader.

The picture above was part of the chain-breaker that the thief left at the scene of the crime, suggesting our city's crackheads have caught up to our anti-theft tricks.  I guess all that's left to do is either outfit your bike with shitty, worthless parts or, if you really want to irritate yourself, stuffing all your bolts with tinfoil and hot wax.

Bike Thief Caught in the Act Last Night at Pop's

Speaking of bike theft in the Mission, it sounds like shit also went down at Pop's last night.  From a reader who'd prefer to stay anonymous:

major drama at pop's last night. i guess some dude caught this latino guy wearing ed hardy trying to steal his bike and started confronting him. the bartender got in the middle of it, got up into the thiefs face and started yelling at him to get a real job and stop stealing peoples shit. i started taking pictures, but the thief's buddy started yelling “this girls taking pictures! this girls taking pictures!” i went back into the bar and the friend followed me and cornered me in the bar to make sure i didn't take his pic. i have no idea if they called the cops or what happened to the bike thief because i got the fuck outta there.

For the interested, this is the same dude that we posted about back in August.  Lock yer shit up, people.

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