free shit

Win a Pair of Tickets to the Noise Pop Culture Club

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Noise Pop is bringing the Culture Club to Public Works next weekend, which provides us San Franciscans with a rare opportunity to interact with creative legends and doodle while Kid Koala DJs, and we have some tickets to throw at the broke and hopeless:

The Culture Club brings together creative individuals from the community and beyond to participate in a series of exciting presentations on independent culture in its many forms. In addition to the talks there are plenty of hands on experiences and opportunities for participants to delve into their personal creativity. Pop ‘n’ Shop, our local designer fair, will also be a part of this very special weekend.

Confirmed Speakers and organizations include:
Kid Koala, No Age, Nick Zinner (Yeah Yeah Yeahs), DJ Nickodemus, John Wesley Harding, Flavorpill, Isotope Comics, Cinemasports, The Masses, Rebar, Jason Jagel, Yak Films, Turf Feinz and many more.

To score a ticket for you and your buddy, let us know in the comments why you deserve the pair.  Or you can just buy yourself a ticket for Saturday (Sunday is free!).

Free Pizza Tonight at Pauline's

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I know we're a little late on this news, but Valencia Street mainstay Pauline's Pizza is celebrating their 25th birthday tonight.  So, if you RSVP [call (415) 552-2050] in the next hour or so, you'll be able to, for one night, relive those glory days in college in which you subsisted off of free pizza you scored at club meetings and events.  Go get it.

(via Broke Ass Stuart | pic by Andrew Mager)

HOODSLAM this Saturday: "Don't bring your f'n kids!"

— By Zach Perkins |

In a cramped Oakland warehouse, covered in graffiti from floor to ceiling, a battle is raging.  The air is thick with [medical] marijuana smoke while onlookers guzzle 40oz's in anticipation, their minds already warped from the sideshow freaks and heavy metal bands that opened the evening's festivities.  The microphone chirps as the announcers prattle off the next bout; “…Hoodslam is proud to present, Zombie Vinny Boutabi versus Gotho the Bi-Polar Clooooooown!!!”  What emerges from backstage is as absurd as it sounds and delivers the clown vs zombie gore-fest that the crowd has been waiting for. 

This is not your average small time amateur pro-wrestling circuit.  This is as Oakland as it gets.  Hoodslam is a bizarre fusion of East Bay hipster, thug culture, metal and pro-wrestling with a sprinkling of sideshow freaks.  The story lines are insane; the characters surreal.  In the world of Hoodslam, zombies, cartoons and video game characters do battle against traditional luchador and WWE style wrestlers.  At the moment, the Street Fighter/CAPCOM characters reigning over Hoodslam with an iron fist of tyranny.  We're seriously talking about Ken and Ryu in the ring; I think that even MegaMan made a cameo at some point.

The Displayed Labors sideshow entertains between fights.

THE POINT: The aptly titled 'Hoodslam 2 FOURTH STRIKE: Tournament Edition 3D' is tomorrow.  And it's free for the last time.  This last show of the season promises to be a big one.  Ryu will fight a masked Luchador.  E Honda battles a guy in a banana costume.  The 'Stoner Bros' will be pitted in a tag-team match against Carmen San Diego and Where's Waldo.  Referee Pink Panther vs. Senior Official Winnie the Pooh.  It goes on and on (Facebook event details here).

So tomorrow at 8pm, make your way to the 'Victory Warehouse' at 24th and San Pablo in Oakland, for Hoodslam: “The only 420 friendly, b.y.o.beer, music, wrestling, entertainment event of its kind”.

Oh, and if you actually want to know more about this bat-shit insane plot, there's a ridiculous five minute video below that explains the background of the 'Capcom Wars' and previews this Saturday in painful detail.

Again, cause yer dum: (Facebook event details here).

 

 

 

Capp St. Bargain Watch

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Ordinarily I wouldn't post something so trivial, but this entire setup cracked me up.  Also, the joke is that it costs $20, not that it's “HD”?  Anyway, roll to 23rd and Capp to score yourself a 100 pound monster with no street value.

UPTOWN GIVEAWAY: Muni Bumper Stickers!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Update: ORIGINAL PHOTO RETRACTED.  Sorryboutit.

See those black lines with some text?  Yeah, those are fucking bumper stickers!

I saw this pile of reject/old-line Muni stickers and was all “neat bumper stickers!” and then was hated on for not immediately recognizing these as the shit they plaster to Muni stops.  Since I’m never wrong, I’d like to offer some up to disgruntled ex-Muni riders who have since taken up driving to work along their former Muni line.  Won’t you look cool driving around in that 1989 Ford Tempo with only one hubcap, whizzing past irate soon-to-be-ex-Muni-riders frantically refreshing Next Bus, with these badboys affixed to your bumper?

I even have a 26-Valencia sticker, but that only goes to someone who has hit a cyclist with their car or only cums when no one wants you to.

Free trips! And you don't even have to do it with an old dude to get one! I think that says more about me than it does about you!

— By Laura B |

I’m too tired to give you the complete details but basically, you write up vacations based on themes and then readers and editors vote on them. If you win, you get 5 free nights at a joie de vie hotel (nice!), round trip plane tickets and a bunch of cash. I’ll take it! I’m not sure if you have to use the money to travel to SF but if that’s the case, have your out of town friends enter. The site running the contest is Trazzler and they’re pretty great. They basically give you ideas for trips to take all over the world. I like it because I really want to go on vacation but can’t afford anything so I just read about them and dream, like a modern day, less attractive, more whiny Cinderella. Adorable! I might enter all of these contests 5 or 6 times. Of course, I’ll use different names and occasionally wear a mustache so they’ll have no clue. 

Oh also, if you win, I’m your plus 1. Deal? DEAL!

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