Blackberry, a company known for making phones that no one under the age of 35 uses, has deployed an ad campaign designed to target urban professionals longing to be cool.  The ad starts off with a local legal messenger, who must be really, really broke, riding up and down San Francisco's scenic hilltops (PLOT HOLE: San Francisco's legal firms are not parked on the top of hills).  He then claims he refers to his Blackberry as his “future phone,” which I'm sure made his soul wilt up into a decaying ball of shame and self-loathing (only to be rejuvenated when he received his 'fat stacks').  However, the ad doesn't truly plummet into marketing hell until it introduces DJ Cassidy, who is dressed in a sweater with a gondola hat, doesn't use real turntables, and has his DJ name embroidered on a pillow.  The dude looks like a male Marta Stewart who is about to go to a picnic in 1917.

Sold.