Uptown Almanac

Days after the neighborhood was rocked by news that Mission Beach Cafe's compostable forks have tendency to break, we couldn't help but notice reports that they had shut down "until further notice."  Oddly, their pastry case was full and presumably safe for affluent human consumption, and it seems really unlikely that anyone would close a restaurant on account of defective greenwave.

So what was really behind the closure?  They told Eater that it was because of a "gas leak", which strikes us as made up, given the lack of Twitter freak-out and the fact they couldn't pin down a reopening date.  And there are two neighbors claiming on Twitter that the staff "walked out" because "they didn't get paid."

It's curious that a popular restaurant with near-constant lines out the door and $15 huevos rancheros on the menu would be struggling to pay their kitchen staff (or, worse, deliberately not doing so).  Then again, it's all a rumor.

For now, they're back open--their gas leak is 'fixed'.  We'll update if we hear more.

[Photo by dvtdl?]

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• The Crippling Disappointment of a Broken Fork

Purse pups are all the rage these days, but, let's face it, you probably don't have enough money to go to TJ Maxx and buy an appropriately-sized handbag for your totally adorbs new teacup.  So why not upcycle that PBR box that's been sitting at the foot of your bed for the last few months and shove your dog into that?  Great way to save the planet and meet babes!

When I was up in Seattle for a long weekend recently, I inadvertently squandered far too many hours in a flawlessly shitty dive by the name of Shorty's.  For those of you that are unfamiliar, Shorty's has seemed to amass a Zeitgeist-like popularity up there, and for good reason: its walls are lined with arcade games and amusement park oddities, and they have an entire back room dedicated to pinball (15 machines in all). Plus, drinks are priced the way drinks should be priced (cheap) and they serve above gas station-quality hot dogs.  You know, the stuff good bars are made of.

So when I say I "squandered" too many hours there, that's not to say that Shorty's wasn't worth the time, because it most certainly was and is.  But it was my first time ever in Seattle and I had planned on seeing as much as I could, not blowing the better part of a Friday night feeding quarters to decades-old machines in the mixed company of yuppies and drug addicts.  So when I went to cash my second ten dollar bill in for quarters, I couldn't help but feel my attraction to this place was less about what Shorty's does well, but more about what San Francisco doesn't do at all.

For all the things we get right, our bars have become awfully dull and monotonous.  The industry spends so much time differentiating between cocktail menus and light fixtures that bar owners seemed to forget how to make their places fun.  Besides ordering sillypants drinks like a "gently bound", we're lucky if a bar has anything besides a single pool table/pinball machine, (internet) jukebox, and an occasionally functional ATM.  Darts?  Hardly.  Events? Rarely. Mini-golf course?  Forget it.

So as that Friday night in Shorty's grew old and my index fingers tired, I got the most serendipitously perfect text from my friend Erika: the above photo with the message, "Gestalt debuted an arsenal of pinball machines. 5 total."

Fuck. Yes.

Now, obviously, Gestalt isn't Shorty's.  At least not yet.  But, they sell cheap beer and sausages, which is basically an upscale take on the hot dog, and are making a legitimate attempt to open a mini-arcade in a bar.  Plus, all their equipment actually works, which is more rare than you'd think in this town.

As the bartender told me on my third visit in two weeks, "We're hoping Gestalt becomes a place people come to play games."  Then he got someone to cover the bar so he could indulge in a round on Funhouse.

So far, the response to the shift has been so strong that they're already looking for more games to fill the place with.  And let's hope it keeps that way, if only so the next time I'm in Seattle I can stand in line for 2 hours at the first ever Starbucks or something.

Ah yes, the days when wall-to-wall douchebags and girls with neck problems packed Medjool's roof and sipped their $6.50 sample-sized Stellas are long behind us.  But after failing to sell the bar and bed bug-infested building for a reported $7.25 million last spring, Medjool is now playing host to a new type of client: homeless veterans.  SFGate reports:

This weekend, homeless vets will start moving into 2524 Mission St., the massive structure near 21st Street that is owned by Gus Murad, the politically well-connected real estate developer. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development has given approval for 32 housing vouchers for veterans to be tied to the building, which will include 30 studios and two one-bedroom apartments. Another unit will house a resident manager...

This is the latest coup for the city, which last summer launched a campaign to house more homeless veterans using HUD vouchers. Only five or six private landlords agreed to participate, with others likely unswayed that taking a bet on a vet was smarter than leasing to the latest 20ish tech guru.

And the roof? According to the Chron, "1,000 square feet of it will be used as a hangout and community meeting space for the veterans."  Nice.

[Photo by Joshua Dickens]