Ban Chips

Two Arrested in Dolores Park Kettle Chip Fistfight

Yesterday was another beautiful day in San Francisco, and like many other residents of the Bay, the two gentlemen pictured above went to Dolores Park to relax and take in the sun. But things took a turn for the krinkle-cut when the Kettle Chips people arrived.

As employees of the snack company strolled through the park passing out samples, these two dudes demonstrated an excess of enthusiasm for the fine product. According to an eyewitness, one guy ran over, and under the influence of extreme hunger, excitedly grabbed a free sample from a larger bundle of chips held by an employee. As he quickly pulled away his prize and made moves to hold it on high for all to see, he accidentally hit another gentlemen in the face.

The second gentlemen, who was in the process of diving for chips himself, did not take kindly to being struck and demanded an apology. When the apology was less than forthcoming, hunger turned to rage and a shoving match/chase/fight ensued to the delight and cheers of the more relaxed park goers.

Thankfully, the terror of hungry bros was dealt with quickly, and the park was once again as it should be—chill.

Comments (12)

Obligatory “new meaning to the word douchebags”

Saturday Dolores park 5 pm exodus was a complete shit show of 25 year olds stumbling down the sidewalk 4 abreast and pissing on whatever stoop, or garage door afforded them the tiniest sliver of cover.    It is quickly hurdling into B2B level of civic in-sustainability.

Thankfully, Alamo is too far for these sort of mischief-making world-changers.  Though, I have seen people taking Uber/Lyft to Alamo from time to time.  Always laughable.  Nice day? Let’s take a car to the park, rather than walk a mile or two in beautiful San Francisco.

Not sure what the draw is to Dolores at this point.  Even if I lived 50 feet away, I’d still avoid.

Make Bi-Rite clean up their trash.

WTF does bi-rite have to do with it?

Bi-Rite sells tens of thousands of dollars worth and the vast majority of product that ends up as trash in the park on a typical weekend. 

How do you know where they’re coming from? That’s kinda weird.

Video or it didn’t happen.

These guys must be Jed York’s 49ers fans showing us how to get chips with class.

Great writing for this story.   Thanks.

Straight up thugs.

They must have been jalapeno kettle chips.  I would of punched those fucking pigs in the face for a mere morsel of a jalapeno kettle chip.