San Francisco: Not Very Tolerant of Kids?
Yesterday's "discussion" about "concerned parents" wanting to fence off part of Dolores Park for their "gifts" from "god" led to some pretty good discussions (I think) about the politics of parenting in the city--namely, that us partying youths don't really care much for the concerns of the concerned parental class, thankyouverymuch.
But some parents are feeling the burn of the "anti-kid tone" from us mainstream liberal blogger elites and our wonderful crop of commenters, alleging that "for town that’s supposed to be all about tolerance, this town isn’t very tolerant of kids." (Which is partially true: most 20-plus-somethings I know see San Francisco as Hamsterdam By The Bay, in which we're free to drink and do drugs and smoke weed in front of cops and party all night and show up to work 11am and recklessly fornicate in dive bar bathrooms--the only purpose babies serve is a grim reminder of the consequences of shit gone bad. No one likes a bummer warning--a little human D.A.R.E. lesson of sorts. But I digress.)
The Sonia Show (who I'm admittedly quoting liberally below) takes this "anti-kid tone" to task, offering up a very reasonable defense of the unspoken majority of non-obnoxious parents living in the vicinity of Dolores Park:
I know that some parents are complainy, helicopter parents. I get it. Some people move to San Francisco, have kids, and then want to change San Francisco. But not all of us. Some of us live here because we love San Francisco. ( I like you very much, San Francisco. Just as you are.)
Children are a part of living in a big city. People without kids are a part of living in a big city. Can’t we all just get along?
And, can’t we all agree that maybe we shouldn’t let dogs run wild through a children’s playground? I have a dog. I love dogs. I don’t want my dog to run unleashed through a children’s playground, just like I wouldn’t let my kid run wild through a dog park.
There’s plenty of room in the park (more specifically, Dolores Park) for everyone. Maybe a low fence to keep the kids from running all over the park is a pretty OK idea, if you stop to think about it. I mean, the dogs would have the entire park to themselves. See? Using common sense is fun.
As for the other story [Supes Propose Change In Muni’s Stroller Policy/SFist]… Is it really hard to believe that parents who use a stroller might need to use the public transportation system, too? We can’t have a discussion about public transportation and strollers without saying shit like, “Everyone with kids needs to move out of San Francisco.” This city wants everyone to get out of their cars and use public transportation, but only people who don’t have kids. Really?
Come on, San Francisco! Aren’t we better than this stupid shit? My husband and I are good, responsible people, and we’re trying to raise a mighty, mighty good man. Is there really not room in San Francisco for me, my husband and The Spawn?
I love San Francisco. I think it’s the greatest city in the world. I really do. Every day after work I drive over the Bay Bridge, and I see the most amazing view of San Francisco, and I think, “Holy shit! I live in San Francisco. What an awesome fuckin’ city!” But I read all these posts and their ridiculous comments, and I get so depressed. I told David about all the comments and how it makes me feel unwelcome in my own town.
“I am sure there are some nice adult-living communities in Arizona if they hate being around children,” he said.
I don't have much of a response to this, other than the fact that parents are not an underrepresented class in America and--dare I get a little hyperbolic--it's parents leveraging the "protecting our children" argument as a reason for banning gay marriage and legislating morality in general. So when parents in San Francisco want to start changing things (like erecting a gnarly fence in the city's premiere adult playground and, presumably, pressuring the police to crack down on Cold Beer Cold Water and gay sunbathers), it gives us pause.
Anyway, it's almost Friday afternoon now; time for us childless heathens to stop debating and start drinking.
[The Sonia Show | Photo by Jake Bickerton]
Comments
I think the problem lies in the fact that Dolores, has almost always been a place for adults. It seems like more of a recent gentrification phenomenon that parents have started bringing their children. THAT is my problem with families in this city. Trying to turn everything kid friendly. There are PLENTY of places to go. Bernal Heights has great parks that are primarily family focused. However to take your kids to Dolores Park on a Saturday afternoon, and feign shock and outrage that people are drinking beer, and smoking pot, is reprehensible. There needs to be a place for responsible adults to do adult shit without sad, beaten to death cliches, like "what about the kids!" which has been used a blanket defense against everything from rewriting textbooks to discrimination against homosexuals. Which side do these mythical "cool parents" want to be on? I live in Noe Valley, and its bad enough I have to deal with the "Deathstar" of strollers blocking me from walking down the sidewalk at a reasonable pace, or 12 screaming kids running around while I try to eat at a taqueria. Please don't take the park from me.... It's all I have!
I'm surprised dog owners don't want a fence as well. It takes away the possibility of an altercation. On top of that, someone decided to build a kids playground in an adult park. So take the next step and fence it in so no kids get hurt by unsupervised, leash-free dogs. Every park I ever been to separates kids and dogs, it just makes sense.
when/if you have a kid, you'll look back at your stance regarding a fence free Dolores Park and think, "Man, I was being a flaming f-cktard!"
These parents the hipsters speak of are a myth.
A myth that has been made up to express feeling shy about behaving like a 20-somethings in the park when there are kids around. Don't worry about it. Ignore them. Do what you want. No parent really gives a shit about what other people in the park do. Really.
Just don't masturbate in the playground. That might be too offensive for most parents.
No, Dolores has not always been a place for adults (or tecate drinking hipsters)...until it was. It is only because of gentrification that it became a place that was fun to hang out in. To be honest, it's still much better now, kids and all than it used to be when it was full of junkies and dealers.
I have a child, and I never let that stop me from drinking on a Friday afternoon. Thanks for sharing my blog! Cheers!
When I was a kid growing up in what The Sonia Show rightly calls the greatest city in the world, we used to love rolling down the hills at DP. We just walked up first to make sure there were no needles. Seemed normal to us!
It's completely absurd to describe Dolores as an "adult" park. It's a PUBLIC park, financed with taxpayer money, and it's supposed to serve the entire community, not just the young, childless and inebriated. It's also been around a LOT longer than the current crop of hipsters, so blaming gentrification is also absurd. The Mission District was a family area before it wasn't.
Last I checked, kids are citizens too. Just try substituting any other ethnic or demographic group for "kids" in sentences like "it's bad enough I have to deal with... 12 screaming kids running around while I try to eat at a taqueria" and see how well that goes down. But somehow it's ok to express prejudice against kids or demand that they be kept out of your face? Sorry guys, life's tough, kids happen.
Why do you automatically make the assumption because I'm childless that I'm part of a "current crop of hipsters"? I don't have any problem with kids coming to the park. At least in the sense I'm not encouraging "regulations" on kids. I have a problem with the double standard of parents making demands of how the park is utilized. Whether you want to admit it or not there are certain parks known for specific demographic subsets of this city. (Duboce Park has lots of dogs, etc.) Why does that have to change, because of a vocal minority?
HAHA what a weak, weak analogy. Not wanting parents to go around imposing their will on PUBLIC spaces is somehow comparable to blatant racism? You're a moron.
No one's a citizen till their 18. Till then their someone's ward.
Kevin you need to find something else to write about, bro.
Read mission mission. They have pics of socks or whatever. Bro.
Bro!!! Bro??? Hahahahahahahaha: Bro!!!! Is that what you call one another back in Shingle Springs? Bro? Hahahahaha!.........Bro......
That's right Broleary, I've been saying it since the day I was born at SF General in 1957. Bro.
love it
Ha Ha. You said Shingle Springs.
Yeah, because you know bro the truth sucks, man.
the problem isn't kids necessarily ,it's overbearing parents who want to control every detail of Junior's life and those around said Junior. These are the people who want their kids walking around in body armor and a helmet at the playground, and want to have 50 billion laws regulating everything to Protect The Child.
It kinda makes you wonder how these parents made it, back in the days when kids walked to school alone or rode bikes to school, played in the street or in a playground without nobel prize designed "learning mechanisms" and the like. They want to live in the city but also remake it into suburbia with extra padding and protection for The Child. Kids are fine , but overbearing parents who need to STFU and have their entitlement mentality shoved up their ass need to go.
I'm in this line. But in the end it doesn't really matter if they fence in the dogs, or the kids, or both. But one thing I think is just silly is how offended parents can get by comments on the internet. People on the internet are obnoxious- but they probably don't really hate you or your kids.
Basically disinterested observer here, but I have one quick question: what's the objection to putting a fence around the playground, from the non-child-having perspective? I don't understand. How does a fence around the playground detract from the otherwise great beer-drinking pot-smoking Dolores Park experience? I can't think of why it would bother me, so I'm curious.
The playground should have a fence. As it stands the area (SW corner) of the park that has been a gay sunbathing spot since the 60s is being over run by kids and parents. Please put up a fence.
did you really equate "parents" with "homophobes"? Even that fake-warning about being "a little hyperbolic" doesn't forgive such sloppy thinking. I hope that's not actually your opinion. If it is, you need a new brain.
I love you, Kevin!!
Plus - what about the butt babies of the world??? No one cries for the butt babies!! Who will build a fence around my ass to protect the butt babies???
Save the butt babies!!
We should start a Kickstarter to build that fence.
Also with MUNI and strollers, MUNI put bike racks on the front of all their busses so people who already have some form of transportation can also put their form of transportation on MUNI. Can't we happily add strollers?
(this coming from a single male childless daily bicycle commuter who lives in the mission)
Have you seen the size of strollers nowadays? They block the entire bus aisle.
But in SF the strollers are being used my hard working Latin moms to bus around white kids whos parents out-source their upbringing.
This is so freaking silly.. be careful what u wish for.
Parents are responsible for legislating against gay marriage? Really? That's like saying men and women are responsible for legislating against gay marriage.
Why do you (and others) care if there is a small fence to keep dogs out? That is the case with many SF parks. How does that impact your park experience if you are enjoying the park without kids? No one is talking about a berlin wall - more like a 4 foot barred fence. Like in Duboce Park. Seriously.
If only your parents could have listened to such advice.
+1
The truth is, there are very few large parks with grass that adults like to hang out in, but there are a good many play grounds, even in the area. There's Kid Power on Hoff near 17th. There's Jose Coronado Playground on 21st and Folsom. There's the 24th and York Street mini park with the awesome snake sculpture fountain. And you are not allowed in these parks if you are not accompanied by children. But you take the one park that serves the childless communities of the Castro and the Mission and make it a child-centered park. Not because you built a playground, but because you arrested 'cold beer' and clothed the gay beach.
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