— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Local residents fear impending Bud and Amstel Light shortage will last weeks.
If there was ever a weekend to explicit avoid the Mission, this is it. CrawlSF, the organization behind the UCSB alumni-packed Chestnut Street, Union Street, and Polk Street Pub Crawls, is bringing their clown car of dickbaggery to the Mission this Saturday afternoon. For the fantastically cheap price of $8 (or $20 if you want a commemorative t-shirt), you can gain access to such trendy spots as Blondie's, Skylark, Double Dutch, Elbo Room, Pork Store, and Delirium.
What's the worst is they seem to expect over a thousand people to turn out. And while I understand that a thousand-plus hair gel-encrusted Dane Cook look-alikes soaking the Mission in a miserable game of hipster grab ass on a Saturday is nothing new, they've historically waited until sundown to summon their Uber Cab to whisk them to Valencia Street, when local residents' bodies are sufficiently pumped full of whiskey and marijuana.
This is an unprecedented assault on the shaky Marina/Mission truce, in which Marina residents don't flock to the Mission until we depleted our weekend drug allowance and Mission residents don't flock to the Marina ever.
And just look at the poster:
Ignoring the fact that the Marina's brightest marketing minds haven't yet mastered MS Paint, it appears they are encouraging crawl-goers to wear lensless frames. NEWSFLASH BROS! Dressing up like 21st century Kris Kross (via LMFAO) is not representative of Mission culture. Now get the fuck off my lawn.
(Thanks Andrew!)
Comments (20)
When a few states made it legal to bring guns into bars, I thought they were crazy.
But now, I think they might have had the right idea.
I am so thankful you posted this.
They should do a better job of warning business about shit like this. Especially if it’s gonna be 1000 people.
So they’ve left the Marina bars undefended? How about a reverse assault! :)
Does this mean Medjool will be empty tonight?
oh christ.
Between this and the Street Food Fest, this neighborhood’s going to be wall-to-wall douchebags tomorrow.
Does it really matter? both neighborhoods are full of douche bags who live off of their parents’ money.
UGH I WANTED TO GET MY OWN DEGREE-TOTING MONEY-LESBIAN WITH A CAREER!! didnt happen.
Just look what they did to the Hemlock on Saturdays. I saw 3 fights walking home on Polk tonight. I would love to go pull that crap in their neighborhood on a weekday for revenge. I’ll sit outside their windows peeing on their stoops and screaming that I can’t find my car and see how that goes.
Hilarious rant! +1 Explains those douchebags in front of Elbo Room yesterday – they had a CHECK-IN desk set up on the sidewalk?!?!?
This was just an excellent time for youth from the Mission and Marina to co-mingle. Let’s do it again sometime - nice meeting you! :-D
Get. Over. Yourselves.
Isn’t it nice we hate the same things?
I have the bus. Lets do it.
The dream of the 90’s is alive in the mission.
I get a kick out of all of this D-bag talk, pointing towards the Marina or wherever else the momentum shifts. Folks seem so concerned about labeling themselves in this city and their association to a particular scene or area….I’m probably more of an outsider looking in, since I’m new to the city and not living in either area - but what’s the deal? So far I hear all this d-bag talk coming from folks that appear to live in the Mission or whatever…Is there another place/site/blog dedicated to Marina trash talking the Mission/hipsters etc…? Just curious.
the flier alone made me wanna barf. these crawl sf people should hang out with the girls gone wild people and have a competition of who has more skanks on board.
Isn’t it funny how a pseudo-satirical blog post can bring out even the most well-hidden insecurities in people?
Let’s some lists of stereotypes for these two VASTLY different groups of San Francisco residents:
Mission “Hipsters”
Only likes music and art you’ve never heard of, coffee, good food, drinking excessively/doing drugs, tattoos (artsy), San Francisco, no-strings relationships, has received varying degrees of financial assistance from his/her parents, likes to hang out at Casanova occasionally.
Marina “Douchebags”
Only likes music and art you’ve heard of, coffee, good food, drinking excessively/doing drugs, tattoos (tribal), San Francisco, no-strings relationships, has received varying degrees of financial assistance from his/her parents, likes to hang out at Casanova occasionally.
zOMG you’re both SO different from each other!
It’s scheduled for the afternoon because those Marina kids are skeeeeered to come to La Mission after dark.
i love that hipsters think that they can live alone in relative solace in an anything goes neighborhood with a shit ton of shit bars and shit mexican food . 20-25 types are going to be like moths to a flame. hipsters are idiots