I don't think before I type's Posts
Attacking a cop car with a recycling bin.
Diners at Locanda.A group called Anarcha-L.A. recently uploaded a video of the Mission May Day Riots titled "Ⓐ SCENES FROM A BLACK BLOC Ⓐ," in which you can see hear the group do 99-percenty stuff like run a recycling bin into a cop car (which, admittedly, is kind of hilarious to watch, if only for the stupid/fail factor), blast Jay-Z rapping about material goods, steal chairs from restaurant patios, and smash business windows. About 6 minutes into the video, you can see someone outside of Four Barrel chase off the vandals; he then follows them for a few minutes, getting threatened and cussed at by the rioters. Eventually he tries to reason with them, saying they don't know who owns the vehicles and "if you want to smash a BMW, that's one thing." Then the clip cuts out.
While we've seen a lot of similar footage in the past, this is the first instance of a group taking responsibility (of sorts) for the riots.
From their YouTube profile:
Anarcha-LA is a group of anarchists, feminists, and non-gender conforming individuals. We work towards building an egalitarian world free of patriarchy, capitalism, and all forms oppression and hierarchy, through creative direct action, study groups, collaborative publications, and community outreach.
Fuckin' LA...
[via Mission Local]
Previously on Uptown Almanac
This dream could be yours for $3,000 OBO!Rental prices are going up. Way up. And with historically low vacancy rates and new millionaires moving into town, it's a landlord's market. Take this new development in the world of renting apartments: having to bid upwards of $3k/month for an apartment on Valencia and Duboce. Check it:
$3000/mo. 1 bd in Mission -- ridiculous? Yes. Make offer, let's talk.
Ridiculous rent for a 600 sq ft one bedroom apartment in the Mission?
Even if you can have your pet?
Even if it has lots of natural light, a small working fireplace, claw foot tub, somewhat upgraded eat-in kitchen, including new fridge?And here is the real deal: WALKING COMMUTE TO CIVIC CENTER AND MID MARKET!
Sounds like a good deal! What do I need to do to get such a posh pad?
MAKE A BID BY RESPONDING TO THIS EMAIL:
(Your bid will of course be subject to your seeing the apartment).
Your bid should include the following (required):
-monthly rent you are willing to pay (water & garbage paid by owners),
-plus agreement to lease for minimum one year,
-plus your employer name with phone number to verify, and
-last 2 landlords with phone numbers, &
-how many people and pets will reside in the apt, &
-your phone number (we will only respond by phone, not email).
Not required but appropriate:
-info about your pet(s),
-plus info about you -- your elevator pitch resume --
-and, if you wish,
----------offer of a signing bonus.
We will see who responds, evaluate the offers, then set up opportunity for top bidders to view the apartment some time between bid close and following week.
Alright, well for that kind of money and effort, what kind of palace are we looking at?
Looks great! Where do I sign?
Oh, and one more thing:
Thanks for your interest in living in San Francisco's most awesome neighborhood.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Some two years after "Mission Dolores" opened up in Brooklyn, I finally made the 2,911 mile journey to check it out. And guess what? It's nothing like Dolores Park! No weed cookies, no lines for the bathrooms, no hula-hooping, no wet bums, no drum circles... hell, they didn't even have some gross guy blasting questionable music from blown-out iPod speakers (but they did have plenty of Bestie Boys loaded in the jukebox). They didn't even serve PBR and Tecate, never mind from a guy named James yelling "Cold Beer, Cold Water."
Actually, maybe this is a good thing....
The bartender, who apparently has never even been to San Francisco, reported that one of the owners was from the Mission, hence its name and expansive selection of west coast beers. While all it's un-Dolores Parkness might disqualify this bar as "fake"--just another business trying to cash-in on Dolores Park's fame and beauty--it's got some real SF charm to it. Like two pinball machines next to a wall of mugshots... (side note: what the fuck is up with New York City and their lack of pinball machines? Maybe I've just been totally oblivious in my travels previously, but the fact you have to hunt to find a playable machine in Brooklyn makes me wonder if pinball is somehow a Bay Area-only sport. But I digress...)
...and this bitchin' mural of Mission Dolores next to the bar....
...and that the only good tacos I've found in NYC are across the street and can be delivered right to your seat at the bar.
In short, it's a great bar, but not really worth the journey unless you're craving some Racer 5 and tolerable tacos and have the misfortune of not living in the Mission full-time. (And at least their bathrooms are so goddamn clean that this is all the patrons have to complain about:)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Have you ever wanted to live in a weird 70's bowling sign? Well, soon you'll be able to, as Mission Street's Giant Value is set to become a deflated accordion/fancy 110-unit condo development that'll rival the height and majesty of the New Mission Theater marquee. From the architect, Kwan Kenmi:
110 Market Rate Condominums [sic] will inhabit this urban site adjacent to the New Mission Theater.
The project showcases quality and urban living. Meticulous detail 'weaves' the project tightly into the existing vibrant urban fabric. Small meticulously designed one and two bedroom condominiums bring value and density the neighbourhood [sic]. The design utilizes contemporary design and materials to bring idividuality [sic] to the building and dwelling units.
I'm inclined to think that these rendering inaccurately portray the true magnitude of this thing, considering the New Mission Theater marquee is only 70 feet tall and they've designed it to be 8 stories (unless the floors will only be ~8 feet tall each).
Anyway, no word yet as to if there will be any affordable housing, when construction is slated to begin, and how much each unit will be flipped for (but we're hearing rumors that the developer, along with Alamo Drafthouse, is pitching in $1.2m to revitalize Bartlett Street). Stay tuned.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Sometimes art imitates life, only to go full circle and inspire life again.
[Second photo by Hamburger Eyes]
New evidence suggests that last week's declaration that cats and dogs as fashion accessories are played out might have been slightly premature, seeing as though this guy seems to have figured out how to fasten a goddamn live animal to his hat.
(Also, sorry about the fedora.)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
As the City of San Francisco continues its annual temper tantrum over people having fun in city parks, they've found a new menace to direct their attention to: slackliners--you know, those guys and gals who tie ropes from tree to tree and walk across them...real gnarly stuff. Hide your kids!
See, the city's park policies make this (and many more activities) illegal, and now the slacklining community is looking to get that changed.
Max for SF Slackline fills us in on the situation:
Currently the rule says, "It's unlawful to attach anything to trees" in San Francisco. So technically it is illegal to rig a slackline to tree, attach a hammock, or even place a balloon on a tree in San Francisco. I have meet with the head of Recreation and Parks and they will not change the rule, but If I can prove there is community support and that slacklining is a growing recreational sport, then we can get certain spots (or certain trees) permitted for slacklining.
When Dolores Park was being renovated they wanted to cut down the palms where we slackline. A fellow slacker named Evan sent a complaint and prevented the trees from being cut down. This was first time the city acknowledged slacklining as community supported recreational sport. However in no way did it legalize slacklining, we just prevented trees from being cut down... Dolores Park authorities have tended to turn their back on a lot of things in the park (however, I have still been shut down multiple times in that park). We have always had access issues in city, with occasional ticket threat (in the Presidio in February, I was threatened by federal cop that he would confiscate all gear and give me multiple fines me for illegal movable structure, rigging on trees, and slacklining without permit).
I can understand why the city might want to shut them down, seeing as through they're dirty fucking hippies and what not. But is it really necessary? Well, no. Obviously not--especially since they don't blast dubstep at other park-goers, nor do any real damage to the trees the parks department wanted to cut down in the first place. But the city is against them anyway, which is causing Max and the SF slackliners to take action:
In response to growing slacklining community and the fact that Recreation & Parks will not classify slacklining as recreational sport, I decided to take action. Slacklining is in a gray area; no one has legalized it, nor is there any rule that says it's illegal. By getting local community support of both slackers and non-slackers, I believe I can pull enough evidence and credibility to designate "slackspots", specific areas where authorities and park services will recognize its a slackline approved area.
Should you want to show 'em some support, Max encourages you to send SF Slackline letters of support, which you might also want to consider sending along to the Department of Recreation and Parks.
[Photo by Matthew Roth | h/t DP Works]
Previously on Uptown Almanac
It's been only a few weeks since a massive fire tore through a Valencia Street building, displacing dozens of residents, and the disaster is already being perverted for political purposes. How? By a disinformation campaign by the SF Firefighters and Recology (the city's trash-collection provider) to protect the company's 70-year-old government-granted monopoly status by painting the ballot measure as an assault on our recycling and composting laws. How darling.
(Oh, and if you are actually interested in reading up on this, the SFBG has a shockingly reasonable analysis of the ballot measure. You can also read the initiative itself, as well as the Chronicle's dueling opinions for the measure and against it.)
[via Generic]
Life is hard. Black? Blue? Green? What bin does your rage go into?
Fuck all that. Just knock over the trash cans and go about your day. In other words, "this is how we do out here, dude."
[Vid by SATAN'S WEINER]
This map is missing "No Income", "Food Blog", and "Cold Beer, Cold Water". But damn.
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