I don't think before I type's Comments

Because riding Muni's wheeled nutbin isn't fun enough, a group of feral teens have discovered a way to "kick open" the back doors of the buses and jump out of them while traveling at top speed (25mph).  From The Examiner:

Between May 30 and June 9, there were 15 recorded incidents of passengers illegally opening doors and jumping out of Muni buses between stops. The infractions — which are now being investigated by police as criminal acts — were recorded at locations from Silver Terrace to the Outer Richmond district. The majority took place on Muni's 14-Mission Limited line, although the most recent incident occurred Sunday night on the 38-Geary. [...]

At first, Biel said, police thought it was passengers hastily looking to exit after mistakenly boarding an express bus, since most of the incidents occurred on the 14-Mission Limited. But now they're investigating the possibility of malicious mischief among a group of passengers.

According to a wheelman interviewed by The Chronicle, the sport may or may not be called "riding the surf," coming from the participant's tendency to hang off the side of the bus before bailing.

This "incredibly stupid and callous" behavior has police scratching their heads, wondering how young men in the prime of their life could possibly engage in such life-endangering activities.  One theory is that the doors never opened at their stop in the first place and they just want to get off; another suggests they've committed crimes and looking to escape capture.

Of course, anyone who has ever ridden a yellow school bus before knows the allure of opening the emergency door and diving out the back--earning you the undue respect of your peers while simultaneously escaping that afternoon's would-be bullies.  It only makes sense that such heroics have made their way to Municipal Transport.

[SFgate | SF Examiner | Photo by Jeff Hunt]

I'm mostly interested in the "Google bus pinatas" (I love candy), but the rest of the copy reads:

In the last several decades, thousands of people have been displaced from the Mission District due to evictions, high rents, rising cost of living, transportation costs, and a lack of access to employment and education. In the last several years, rent for many has almost doubled. This Cinco de Mayo, (May 5th), join with Mission residents to speak out and gather to build a culture of resistance against gentrification in San Francisco and beyond.

Recently, economic turmoil coupled with a lack of congressional bipartisanship has caused an downward financial slope for government subsidized programs, most recently manifested in an act known as 'sequestration'. It's not great. Lots of programs are losing money, lots of people are losing their jobs, and Congress has an approval rating somewhere in the vicinity of the Val Kilmer Batman movie (topical reference). 

That being said, it's not like the effects of sequestration are all bad. From NBC Bay Area:

The U.S. Navy's Blue Angels announced on Tuesday that because of federal budget cuts and sequestration, the entire 2013 season has been canceled.

The Blue Angels were scheduled to appear in San Francisco during Fleet Week in October. The event is still scheduled to go on, but the Blue Angels were arguably the biggest draw.

Despite what your views on patriotism are, there are no doubt that the Blue Angels are just the absolute fucking worst. They spend the entire week performing over the city, shaking buildings by being very fast and aerodynamic jerkoffs. An unnecessary pollutant the tranquil skies of our oh-so-cherished microclimate, the Blue Angels only function is clogging the bridges and roads with a massive influx of North Bay, Coolpix camera-wielding tourists.

So if a few bus drivers and other city employees lose their jobs, so be it. I full-heartedly embrace sequestration. It enables us to spend one extra week of the year not having to jump under our desks in a Cold War-style bomb drills. Except for every Tuesday at noon. 

Go Congress! 6 more years!

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Hybrid Carrier in SF for Fleet Week to Promote Making Sustainable War

Following the string of brutal rapes in the fall of 2011 at the hands of Frederick Dosier, a.k.a. The Mission Rapist, everyone in the area has been left on their toes.  And, thankfully, the vigilance helped one woman escape a recent attack, just over a block away from one of Dosier's most violent assaults.

This woman's story has been circulating on local email lists and is now making its way onto neighborhood blogs, via Noe Valley SF.  As of right now, there are is no police sketch of the suspect, nor a verbal description.  However, details are still emerging.

Emphasis is ours:

If you're getting this email its because you are a female friend in my circles, live in my neighborhood-ish, or have a large circle of women friends. I wanted to spread the word of what happened to me so hopefully you and your circles can be more aware, street smart and vigilant about your personal safety.

On Saturday evening I was walking home from a friend's potluck through the Mission when I was attacked - an attempted rape. I was actually being quite conscious of those around me due to the fact that I'm heading to Nairobi in several weeks and personal safety has been on my mind. As I turned up 23rd Street, I noticed a man walking to me that 'zero-ed' in on my presence, locking eyes on me. There was no side street to turn down, and I didn't want to turn around, exposing my back to him, so I kept walking. As we neared each other, I tried to walk around a tree quite close to the curb, before I could do so he lunged at me.

He knew what he was doing and how to attack someone. He went first for my eye socket with his thumb and put his other hand in my mouth to stifle my screams and slammed me down to the ground. He was using the hand in my mouth and on my jaw to try and slam my head on the concrete, presumably to knock me out. Once I was down on the ground he straddled me pinning down my arms. After about 15 seconds of struggling just to avoid him knocking me out, I was able to use all my strength to surge up on my right side to unpin that arm. Since I'm a climber, I'm strong, and I don't think he was expecting this and was unprepared for that maneuver. Luckily through this move and some biting, I was also able to get his hand out of my mouth and started screaming - first just yelling and then screaming for help. I struggled with him while screaming and trying to avoid him knocking me out for another 30s until a couple in a house several houses down the street threw open their window and turned on lights. This scared him away.

The cops came and while we drove around looking for him for awhile, we were unable to find him. This means that someone who clearly knows how to attack swiftly and effectively is still out there in our neighborhoods. This happened at 23rd between Guerrero and San [Jose] - the fringe of the Mission and Noe.

I'm incredibly lucky that I had the strength to keep him from delivering a knock out blow and to fight for so long until someone came to help. I'm incredibly lucky that those in the houses around me didn't fall prey to crowd think and assume someone else was going to help. I'm walking away from this with a bruised eye, scratches on my face, road rash on my shoulder and sore/bruised back, shoulders, jaw and ribs. It could have been significantly worse.

I wanted to spread this around not to try and get attention or your sympathy, but to hopefully make you aware of the fact that attacks, and 'bad things' can also happen to people in your circle. We live in a big city and the best thing you can do is be incredibly conscious of your surroundings at all time. Please - walk in groups, or with a male friend, take taxis and dial up those street smarts...

Feel free to send this around to other females that could benefit from a dose of reality.

Be vigilant, everyone.

[Noe Valley SF, via Patrick Connors]

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• SFPD Release Video of the Mission's 24th St Serial Rapist
• Suspected Mission Rapist Captured by SFPD
• Mission Rapist Found Guilty