I don't think before I type's Posts
Their new guerilla advertising tactics, spotted at 24th & Mission. ABC, Zipcar!
The soy milk at Boogaloos. Also, this made me miss Frisco Disco at the Transfer. That was the most fun! Even that night where everyone's shit got stolen by some dude who looked like Hello Kitty THAT WAS STILL A GOOD NIGHT. Where is the new Transfer? Let me know, I'm older and fatter now but I still gots to move! I'm like a shark, if I ain't swimming, I'm dying.
Hipster Wife Hunting? I thought that was Vice? Okay, whatever.
I don't really know what's happening on this site, to tell you the truth. I just wanted to post it before anyone else. Blogging 3.0 people, my posts are the wave of the motherfucking future. And really, can you explain the site to me? Fuck it, I don't care.
Get 50% off at a load of fancy pants bars if you can admit that Yelp sent you. I ain't too proud to beg but some of you with more money might want to pay double because YEAH, BOYEEEEE*!!!
*no seriously, Yelp used the phrase "YEAH, BOYEEEEE!!!!" on their event page. I don't even know.
If you're in LA on Feb 27, your ass better be there for the world premiere. How long before they start playing it at The Red Vic? Oh also, word ots is that you can download this on sites that rhyme(ish) with tehbiratepay.borg. Party at your house, yall! You're buying!
I just gotta cut and paste all this shit from the site because it's too good:
BIRDEMIC, described by Nguyen as a romantic thriller, is a horror/action/special-effects-driven love story about a young couple trapped in a small Northern California town under siege by homicidal birds. BIRDEMIC also tackles topical issues of global warming, avian flu, world peace, organic living, sexual promiscuity and lavatory access.
Nguyen, a 42-year-old Vietnamese refugee, wrote, cast and shot the film over the course of four years using salary from his day job as a mid-level software salesman in Silicon Valley. The film pays homage to Hitchcocks THE BIRDS via location shooting in Mission Bay, California, as well as an appearance by star of THE BIRDS Tippi Hedren (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tippi_Hedren). When rejected for an official screening slot at Sundance, Nguyen spent eight days driving up and down the festivals nearby streets in a van covered with fake birds, frozen blood and BIRDEMIC posters, while loudspeakers blared the sounds of eagle attacks and human screams. The tactic caught the attention of festival organizers, filmgoers and local police, as well as executives from Severin Films. Severins executives walked into a screening, took one look at Nguyens masterwork, and immediately locked up BIRDEMICs worldwide rights for the next twenty years. Discussions are currently underway for Severin to add an additional thirty years to the initial agreement.
There's a new blog in town that's a parody of 7x7's bold hyper-local experiment. It's pretty funny because let's face it NO COMMENT (KEVIN!?) but I have some suggestions for OMG the Mish! I mean, if I were gonna make a bloghomage to that particular site, I'd post many photos of myself dancing at some obscure show because i'm not fat anymore and LOOK THESE ARE MY FRIENDS*. That would be the only thing I didn't hate on or mock because OMG THEY LIKE ME. I'd also have some choice photos of blades of grass growing through the concrete and shit like that. Then maybe I'd move somewhere else that's not the mission and have some other people posts news 5 days too late. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE COMMENTERS. If you want to rock a true blogomage, you're gonna have to get hateful brat commenters who hale from cities like Concord and don't have the balls to move farther away from home. That's the problem with the internet, it allows people who had no friends in high school to reign supreme(ish). It's totally embarrassing. I want to beat up the internet.
Man, my parody blog would be the SHIT. If there were 35 hours in a day, I'd be all over that. I can't wait until someone makes an Uptown Almanac blogomage. Please contact me for ideas on how to make fun of me.
And with that, I think I alienated half of the city of San Francisco. Good, I can't stand your ugly faces anyway, come back when you've plucked your eyebrows and combed that rat's nest. GOOD NIGHT!
*I personally am fat and LOVE IT. that is why i don't suffer from former fatkiditis and the need to be cool...that shit is the worst thing that can ever happen to a fatty. anyway, i'm just calling it like I see it. It coulda been bad acne too.
I strive to be as good as the girl in orange is at dancing at ANYTHING in my life. WORK IT, you little freak. I've watched this video so many times, I'm pretty sure I'm on some sort of sexual predators list now. What? She's AWESOME.
Where's the symphony of ducks when I need it? Someone shoulda thrown her a glitter wand.
The best Olympics figure skating blog is run by a local blogger and it's on motherfucking live journal. BOW DOWN.