I don't think before I type's Posts

The soy milk at Boogaloos. Also, this made me miss Frisco Disco at the Transfer. That was the most fun! Even that night where everyone's shit got stolen by some dude who looked like Hello Kitty THAT WAS STILL A GOOD NIGHT. Where is the new Transfer? Let me know, I'm older and fatter now but I still gots to move! I'm like a shark, if I ain't swimming, I'm dying. 

Get 50% off at a load of fancy pants bars if you can admit that Yelp sent you. I ain't too proud to beg but some of you with more money might want to pay double because YEAH, BOYEEEEE*!!!

*no seriously, Yelp used the phrase "YEAH, BOYEEEEE!!!!" on their event page. I don't even know.

There's a new blog in town that's a parody of 7x7's bold hyper-local experiment. It's pretty funny because let's face it NO COMMENT (KEVIN!?) but I have some suggestions for OMG the Mish! I mean, if I were gonna make a bloghomage to that particular site, I'd post many photos of myself dancing at some obscure show because i'm not fat anymore and LOOK THESE ARE MY FRIENDS*. That would be the only thing I didn't hate on or mock because OMG THEY LIKE ME. I'd also have some choice photos of blades of grass growing through the concrete and shit like that. Then maybe I'd move somewhere else that's not the mission and have some other people posts news 5 days too late. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE COMMENTERS. If you want to rock a true blogomage, you're gonna have to get hateful brat commenters who hale from cities like Concord and don't have the balls to move farther away from home. That's the problem with the internet, it allows people who had no friends in high school to reign supreme(ish). It's totally embarrassing. I want to beat up the internet.

Man, my parody blog would be the SHIT. If there were 35 hours in a day, I'd be all over that. I can't wait until someone makes an Uptown Almanac blogomage. Please contact me for ideas on how to make fun of me. 

And with that, I think I alienated half of the city of San Francisco. Good, I can't stand your ugly faces anyway, come back when you've plucked your eyebrows and combed that rat's nest. GOOD NIGHT!

*I personally am fat and LOVE IT. that is why i don't suffer from former fatkiditis and the need to be cool...that shit is the worst thing that can ever happen to a fatty. anyway, i'm just calling it like I see it. It coulda been bad acne too. 

I kid but wouldn't that be SO AMAZING. He already has an amazing t-shirt collection that could be fully exploited.

Ah, life.