I don't think before I type's Posts
Hellllllen (not sure, there are like a million l's in her name) is an art and comic making genius. She went to see Lady Gaga perform and drew about it. The result? How about, "NAILED IT." Don't worry, I hate me too!
OH DUDE, that comic is going to be part of Prison for Bitches: a Lady Gaga Fanzine. SOME DREAMS DO COME TRUE.
Seriously, get the fuck out of here, I can't stand any of you. Go to LA, they're more accepting there.
Seriously. In the words of someone much wiser than myself, "if you're picking people who are good at internet, maybe you should be better at it yourself?" Also, daaaaaaaaang, YOU GUYS REALLY. Finally, TOTALLY VOTE FOR US, riiiiiiight? It looks like about thirty people have voted and there are about thirty people who read this site so we can take this with very little effort. OH MAN NOW WHEN IF WE DON'T WIN SO EMBARRASSING.
WHAT? If PANCAKES get a day, so do transgender people! In fact, every day should be transgender day because some of my favorite people ever are transgender (who do you think brings us stuff like "culture" and "good taste"!? Wake up, people!) and further, check out this list of transgender notables. Love that Coccinelle, check out those gams! Work it, girl.
This is probably the mother of all groupons: $49 bucks for X-Rays, Consultation, and Teeth Cleaning! If you have insurance, fuck you stop reading and never come back. If you don't, this is a damn good deal. Get your teef cleaned, I'm tired of the denizens of this fine city looking like extras in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. Seriously, what is this place and lack of pride in personal hygiene and appearance? Ladies, get thee to a salon and men, please acquaint yourself with a razor because shit is getting unruly. Time to take back the streets, San Francisco. And by the streets, I mean your crotchular region.
Nancy Pelosi is married to a meterosexual! Or homosexual! I mean, do you really think the HBiC could be married to a man who isn't doing it with other men? Who knows, who cares, best "news" "story" EVER. If my husband was buying my clothes and styling the shit out of me, the least I could do in return is let him do it with other men. Of course, I get to watch and at the same time, he should be feeding me pizza and keeping my trough of dark and stormy's full. Also, FOOT MASSAGES! Cathy, CAN I GET A WITNESS!? You know what I'm talking about, girl.
I'll by busy TRAMPOLINING (is that a word? what's google??) for the next ten thousand years on the new giant trampolines in the presidio. Yes, giant trampolines in San Francisco. I'm about to be fat, white, and high as a kite! Those dudes know what I'm talking about! Let's do this!
SF Appeal has all the details, per usual.
I guess boy bands realize that they can't film everything in a Los Angeles sound studio and since LA is ugly as shit, they had to travel up here for some hot video. In related news, both of these songs are THE JAM.
JT is all, "Osha Thai is so tasty you see, bring more of that pad thai to meeeeee...." I don't know, I'm cracking up over here, that shot is amazing. Also, he looks just like Joey from Blossom right there. WHOA!
Full video amazingness below:
Et tu, 98 Degrees!??
Nice 98º tattoo on your arm, bro. Bet that aged well.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:
I can never look at the bay in the same way again. This just totally ruined sex for me. Yes, that's how I do sex. Let your mind run wild, enjoy the show!
Hat tip to the incomparable Eddo!
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Mike Sugerman at CBS 5 is at it again! That lovable newsy is always on the trail of a hot lead (forget facts! what's that!? who's he!? Also, did he just say CYBERSPACE!? What is this?? The Net? A: I WISH!), and this time, he's trying to figure out Foursquare. About a year too late to break any real FourSquare story, this video piece nevertheless features the delightful and adorable Brittney Gilbert of CBS Eye on Blogs (the tables are turned, Gilbert! The eyes are on you now!!) meeting Mayor Patrick Bateman Gavin Newsom. Thrilling.
Also, is Wendy Tokuda drunk? Or super high? Or is that just my fantasy speaking?
Because CBS5 is old media, they won't let you embed video so you have to click a stupid link.
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