Mutilated Junk

Local Food Blogger Seasons Package Thief With Bear Spray

In what could be San Francisco's closest real-life adaptation of Kill Bill, “Professional Food Pornographer” Sonya Yu made a citizen's arrest of a suspected serial package thief in Noe Valley earlier today after catching him in the act.  How?  Because of Noe Valley's proximity to The Castro, residents keep an ample supply of bear spray handy.  And swords.  Japanese bokkens, to be exact—and she wasn't afraid to use them.

According to Sonya's fiance, through Noe Valley SF, the couple laid out a bear trap, complete with a motion-activated video camera and a fake package (aka “bait”) left out to be stolen.  For our benefit, Sonya livetweeted the whole ordeal, from setup to arrest:

Now that the trap is set up, time to take a break for some humdrum daytime activities:

But that didn't last for long:

She seriously must of fucked up his world, because…

No pain, no gain:

And with a little aid from schadenfreude:

Finally, for some home defense tips:

And scene:

Her entire play-by-play is practically a lifetime of Tweets, so do read them for additional gems.  Unfortunately, she didn't end up mutilating his junk.

[Noe Valley SF]