“Everything you need at your doorstep… progressive charter schools, great restaurants, hip shopping! Google bus will pick you up right across the street!”
That's the realtor's listing for this (obviously satirical) $2,800/month micro-apartment from Outside The Box Realty. They go on about your new Dolores Street dream pad:
We call this our Peter Shih Suite. Bright and airy—location is everything here. If you want Naughty, the Mission is to your left. Want Nice? Head right to Noe Valley. Progressive charter schools, hip shops and the finest restaurants. Dolores Park is your front yard, Bernal Hill your back.
Of course, their trick photography makes the space look more luxurious than it really is, as The Worst Room's pic reveals: