Getting drunk for hella cheap

New Mission Brewery Slated to Open this Spring

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Not only will beer be brewed, but there will be TREES.

Mission Loc@l brings us word that the long rumored and bureaucracy/NIMBY-plagued upstart Southern Pacific Brewing Company is slated to open their Mission brew pub later this spring.  $3 pints of local beers.  Cheap eats.  Outdoor patio.  Plus, it's at the corner of 19th and Treat, so you can start your evening by climbing at Mission Cliffs (exercise!), head to the brewery for a round of beers, go to Homestead for additional drinks, then stumble to Bender's for shots of whiskey until your liver explodes out of your stomach, grows legs, and runs town South Van Ness screaming.  All within two blocks.

But really, $3 pints of local microbrew?  The days of $2 cans of generic American lagers in the Mission are numbered…

(link. via Eater)

COOL KID TASTE TEST: The New Four Loko

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

You can blame my inability to take a decent photograph for why I couldn't get a shot of us ACTUALLY pouring the Loko into the glasses.

Last night, four (ha!) of the foremost (okay, I'll stop) Mission District experts on Four Loko gathered to sample the new, fun-free caffeine-free formula.  And, I'm sorry to say, it's pretty terrible.  Now I'm not saying Four Loko was great in the first place, but it was passable given how cheap of a drunk it was.  Well, it's still 12% alcohol sugar-water, so even though I was 'way gone' by the end of the evening, the taste was much worse than the original.  None of us could quite put our finger on it, but at one point, the words “acid” and “blood urine” were thrown out there.

Now, to be fair, none of us went into this excepting it to taste any good, so perhaps our perception of the drink was purely psychological, but somehow I doubt it.  Plus, I didn't want to go on a caffeine-fueled terror spree through the city afterwards.  The horror! 

Anyway, if you want to ingest 23.5oz of drunk fructose for yourself, head to the market on 22nd and Mission next to Popeye's.  Pick up some aspirin and an It's-It while you're at it.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: