How Would You Renovate Dolores Park?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

via Headline Shirts

Reader “12million dollar man” chimed in with his plans for the upcoming $11.7m renovations of Dolores Park:

They should just give the money to me, and i'll take care of the renovations…

We'll have an epic party where three people walk away with a new Lamborghini. A Free big mac, a free pack of smokes, and a free 6er of bud light for everyone who comes. Non stop strippers, and fireworks the whole time. We'll pay to dig up Michael Jackson's coffin and have viewings. Lady Gaga will come and sing country music. We will spray one lucky person in gold leaf.

Then when we've used up 99.9% of the money we'll use the last bit to spread some grass seeds. Renovation done.

(link)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

EXCLUSIVE: Steve Jobs Dines at St. Francis Fountain, Philz Coffee

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The King of Silicon Valley was visiting San Francisco's trendy Mission District for a second weekend in a row and Uptown Almanac has all the juicy details!

Click here for the appalling photo of Steve getting kicked out of Flour + Water!

That's right, after notoriously getting the shaft from the New York Times' favorite Flour + Water last Saturday, Steve Jobs was spotted outside of St. Francis Fountain on Sunday morning.  Our sources indicate he ordered the peanut and ginger tofu scramble.  In a daring move, he even subbed his toast for a slice of banana bread!

Click here for more of the shocking photos of Steve outside of Flour + Water!

This all comes on the heals of an investigation into last week's controversy at Flour + Water by TMZ and the SF Weekly.  Flour + Water's publicist has confirmed to TMZ, SF Weekly, Tech Church, Digg, /b/, Reddit, Mashable, and Twitter user @clambake01 that Steve Jobs was at the restaurant and they gave him the boot!: “He was a stand up guy about it with no throwing of weight around, but like everyone else he's gonna need either a reservation, walk in and get lucky or wait for a bit with a nice glass of vino.”

Click here for more details in SF Weekly's devastating investigation!

Well, Steve didn't seem at all affected by the controversy, happily walking down 24th after his meal at St. Francis to Philz Coffee, where sources spotted him drinking a coffee and even indulging on a delicious Mission Mini cupcake.  Better watch that waistline, Steve!

Just Your Average Saturday Night at Hi-Tide

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Hi-Tide Lounge: drink until you puke out your eyes.

Reader Neb sent this along:

The Hi-Tide Lounge on Geary is definitely my kind of place and one even the TL locals call “very strange.” After once being greeted with “Who next? You order drink now” by the most efficient bartender in SF, I've been set ever since with $3 draft beers.  Above the bar is a portrait of a bare-breasted woman with a Mona Lisa-like look that follows you around the room. $1 pool and dangling electrical wires add to the overall ambiance.

Well, [Saturday night], after a couple rounds in with a groups of friends, a belligerently drunk guy claiming to be ex-military gets into a screaming match with the sole bartender after smashing a barstool against the jukebox. The guy seriously won't leave and finally after 5 minutes a guy group of guys rally to push this dude out the door. He stands outside continuing to scream and yell like anyone cares. I grab my vintage generation iPhone and crappily film the last few minutes. You can still spot the guy at the end of the clip.

The first 30 seconds, a screaming match between drunkBro and the most efficient bartender in SF, is the real highlight of the video, so you might want to cut yourself off early.  Also, I haven't been to the Hi-Tide in years.  Anyone up for a TL barcrawl?

Boxwars in Dolores

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Reader Daniel Jarvis sent this video our way.  Thankfully, I don't need to edit my video now, which was sure to be not nearly as good as this video, but not nearly as crappy as the one on mishmish.  Be sure to stick around for the bonus sledding on cardboard shots at the end.  Also, if you don't feel like watching 4 minutes of video, the above photo pretty much sums up the entire event.

ROBOBATTLES 2010 Dolores Park from Andrew Callaway on Vimeo.

no big.

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

iän peeped this scene outside of July's Critical Mass and captured the moment with an EPIC SHOT:

wwwheel.

sup just casual cruiser bike wheelie, no big.

(link)

SFPD Renews Campaign Against Fun in Dolores Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you remember the summer of 2009, the police began enforcing drinking laws in Dolores Park through rumor and spectacle.  Then a leaked memo dropped, brought headlines to SFgate, the Examiner, and forced Bevan Dufty to actually come out of his hole to sit down with bloggers, journalists and park activists.  The result of the controversy was an absence of continued police presence well into 2010.

Suddenly last weekend, news spread of SFPD kicking out the commerce.  Then this week signs went up around the park telling people not to smokes and drink.  Was this a sign of a 2009 relapse?

Yesterday afternoon, a pack of 5 police officers armed with guns and dirt bikes went through the entire park, forcing people to throw out their beers, leash their dogs and stop selling ice cream sandwiches.

An aspiring hot dog vendor was cited by this officer, likely costing her all the money earned that afternoon.

Ice cream vendors were also asked to leave.

I watched police escort this harmless, quiet man out of the park.  He wasn't visibly doing anything aside from drinking a tallboy.

Is this waste of resources going to become a daily routine for SFPD?  Sure hope not.

UPDATE: SFPD confirms to Mission Loc@l that they are, in fact, stepping up patrols in the park and they have no estimation as to when they'll back off.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: