A tipster writes in with the news:
FYI it seems the folks from FSC Barber bought the old [Groger's Western Store] building on 25th and Valencia and plan to turn it into a paleolithic bar or something. They're calling it "Hunters & Gathers." If you head over there quickly, you might be able to catch em. They're dropping off some reclaimed sheetrock and dusty taxidermy now.
We sprinted over and got the word. According to the dapper and generously mustached man we spoke to, they're hoping to recreate the survivalist dinning experience, with wild plants and animals "routinely stocked" throughout the restaurant. Patrons will be given a quick crash course on safely foraging for edibles by the door guy before being handed a machete, wicker basket, and loaner tweed sport coat and told to "go catch some dinner!"
"This is about moving past the boring, safe fusion food we've dealt with all our life and doing something rugged and masculine and real," he added before sitting down to eat a quiche from Tartine.
They will be converting the parking lot behind the bar into a wood-fire rotisserie, gutting station, and small-batch beer garden, allowing customers to oversee their dinner's entire preperation and engage in forced, banal banter with the cooks.
FSC also plans to sell American Apparel t-shirts printed with the bar's logo for only $55.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Hey guess what, the green energy elixir from Sidewalk Juice is totally a great coffee replacement. April fooools..
But seriously, you guys. SF dirtwave band The Secret Secretaries released a single today that sounds, as my friend Ryan put it, like if Kurt Cobain was the singer for Hum. Behold:
Pretty sick. Good thing they're playing at Bottom of the Hill tonight. They go on at 9. I'll be the one in the front row with the rubber chicken.
When they aren't busy squandering their education on borderline Instagrammable latte art, they're waterboarding kidnap victims, doing blade hits, and drawing unfortunately-sized dongs on dinosaurs.
This and more on today's reason to never go to Rodger's Coffee.
Proving that Valencia Street is the new LA, a tipster tells us the techie-adored and whimsically-branded online fashion pusher Betabrand has just signed a lease at 19th and Valencia. Betabrand's founder Chris Lindland confirms: "Yes. We're moving [into 780 Valencia]. Now awaiting city approval for a heliport & livestock permit."
I kid. (Well, a little bit, at least.)
Betabrand is, perhaps, one of the least obnoxious upscale garbmongers to come to the Mission. They are headquartered in the neighborhood, and their clothes are manufactured in a San Francisco sweatshop, as opposed to an Asian sweatshop. Also, I couldn't find the word "artisan" anywhere on their website.
These, my friends, are the kind of corporate values you could bring home to your mother.
But, yes, their clothes are dorky as shit--dare I say, Marinaish. And I'm certain anyone with a modest income will ever be able to afford to shop there. But if the neighborhood demands seersucker, give the neighborhood seersucker.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Following last week's report that Jack Spade is pushing for Adobe Books' eviction, we just learned that the 25-year-old bookshop has been served its final eviction notice. A member of the Adobe Books Collective relayed the news, telling Uptown Almanac "the property owner of the Adobe space served [owner Andrew McKinley] an eviction notice for June 15."
The eviction notice comes less than two weeks after Adobe Books raised $60,000 to cover a year's worth of rent increases.
The biggest unknown surrounds the future of the space. As you may recall, Jack Spade--a subsidiary of the Liz Claiborne conglomerate--sought a Letter of Determination from the Planning Department regarding the brand's status as a formula retailer last summer. But besides job ads and reportedly sizing up Idol Vintage next door, they've been completely silent about their plans. (To us, having your press person decline to confirm or deny you intentions is a de facto admission of ill intent. Alas.)
It stands to reason that Jack Spade is sprinting to open a location in the Mission, hoping to avoid a damaging fight with residents the likes of 2009's protest that kept American Apparel from opening on Valencia Street. As Jack Spade only operates 10 stores in the United States, they are one store shy of meeting the city's definition of formula retail, which is banned along the Valencia corridor. Their proposed location at 3166 16th Street would be that store.
A press release from earlier this month confirms Jack Spade's aggressive growth:
Jack Spade, Kate's little brother is more than ready to step out of his sister's shadow as the brand becomes a major focal point and potential growth driver for [parent company] Fifth & Pacific. The brand is now poised for broader expansion, as Fifth & Pacific's CEO William McComb said that Jack Spade 'can be a $100 million men's business with very high margins." The company has invested heavily in the brand as it moves closer to attaining lifestyle brand status. The investment has taken the form of store expansions as the brand grew from three units to 10 stores. Those numbers are also expected to rise as retailers set its sights on domestic and international markets, notably China, according to vice president and brand director Cuan Hanl
It seems the purveyor of $495 lemon raincoats is trying to sneak their way into the Mission District before it becomes illegal to do so, skirting the intent of the city's anti-formula retail legislation. Adobe Books just happens to be a casualty in their pursuit.
We'll update if we hear anything else. If you have any inside knowledge of Jack Spade's plans, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Dolores Park goers, have you no shame? I understand it was Sunday morning and your weirdly old roommate that rudely hogs the common space wanted to tag along with you to the park. And it was mighty nice of to lug his fat 400 pound wooden ass down the stoop and past the giggling bubble butts standing in line for Bi-Rite. But just because he got all drunk and heavy was not an excuse to just abandon him in the company of DRUM CIRCLES.
Just look: here is your old pal, an entire day and a half later, getting finger-blasted by twittering strangers:
This is a low note for us all.
Anyway, I'm eagerly awaiting the Mission Local headline on this. I'm imagining something along the lines of "Piano Assaulted in Dolores Park After Dark: Assailants Press Keys, Yet Victim Has Yet to Press Charges."