— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
“Artisanal” was, perhaps, once a word with meaning. But then some grade-a shithead in Brooklyn slapped it on a jar on pickles and it’s been on the tip of every marketing exec’s tongue since. Which leads us to today: Market Street’s “Perform For Life” gym, whose Facebook account features an equally puzzling photo of a squad of malformed humans crawling away from stream like they’re gunshot victims, rolled out this “artisanal fitness” advertising campaign.
Why is perky nips holding two baseball bats? Is this how fitness is made? No matter. “Artisanal fitness” isn’t a thing, and now that horrible word can finally be retired.
[Photo: Mulegirl]
Comments (8)
Those aren’t baseball bats. They’re fine Eye-talian long necked wine bottles that people who don’t know shit about wine gift to equally ignorant relatives. They guzzle the bitter grape liquid, then display the bottles for years until a nice layer of dust collects on them and bugs eat the raffia-weave base.
They’re popular back home in Corntoe Junction. Ask anybody in the tony Mission; they’ve seen the bottles in Nana’s house.
Art Is Anal
Art is Anal Fitness*
Art is anal cheese.
I’m still waiting for mid-western transplants to stop using “hipster” when referring to any 20-something in the city.
Sadly, I think “artisinal” will stick around for awhile longer….though, yeah, it became a watered-down buzz term / officially meaningless a number of years ago.
I blame the Huffington Post for most of this type of thing. Journalism at its most try-hard and pathetic.
The bold italic article on this same topic just proved my point with its “real hipsters don’t work out” comment (among other things).
I just bought the domain WalkToArtisalFitness.com… hahaha! fuck you world!
The Art of Anal Fitness? Is this a Mapplethorpe thing?
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