“Artisanal” was, perhaps, once a word with meaning. But then some grade-a shithead in Brooklyn slapped it on a jar on pickles and it’s been on the tip of every marketing exec’s tongue since. Which leads us to today: Market Street’s “Perform For Life” gym, whose Facebook account features an equally puzzling photo of a squad of malformed humans crawling away from stream like they’re gunshot victims, rolled out this “artisanal fitness” advertising campaign.
Why is perky nips holding two baseball bats? Is this how fitness is made? No matter. “Artisanal fitness” isn’t a thing, and now that horrible word can finally be retired.