For the Children

San Francisco Declares Victory Against Dark Forces of Four Loko

Just in time for you to have forgotten that Four Loko still existed, especially since any memories of drinking it are probably pretty hazy, San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera has made a settlement announcement with the manufacturer following his 2010 campaign to ban the drink. Chicago-based Phusion Products has agreed to stop marketing its fruit-flavored, formerly caffeinated and extra-strength malt liquor alcopops known as Four Loko to minors:

One innovative clause in the agreement obliges Phusion to monitor its social media pages to crack down on and delete posts showing irresponsible behavior. Prior entries from users on Four Loko social media sites include “My baby boy is a result of my drunken Four binge of wonder,” and, in response to the question “What Loko Starts the Perfect Saturday Night?” the answer “The one in the 17 year olds hands [sic].”

Phusion also agrees to stop “promoting the drinks on college campuses, avoiding depictions of underage drinkers in their advertising, and ending marketing practices that promote rapid or excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages.” The company will also abstain from “depicting Santa Claus in its advertisements, depicting anyone driving a motor vehicle while drinking alcohol, and depicting the consumption of their products by persons exhibiting clear signs of intoxication.”

So whichever ad agency creatives already mocked up a campaign for the Vice holiday guide with an animated takeover of Santa slamming a can of Four Loko while stumbling out of his sleigh to deliver cases to children really has their work cut out for them.

[Photo: Dana]