Burner Celebrates Hippie Return Day By Littering SoMa Streets With Dildos

It's the first Tuesday of September, so San Francisco's loathed drug goons are amidst caravanning back from the desert and car wash employees are contemplating career changes.  Normally, it's a day filled with unpacking, testing the limits of REI's return policy, and boring your Facebook friends with mystical praise about going off the grid.  But for one, it meant dumping desert dongs in the streets of SoMa.


[via BuffBro]

Comments (13)

running so low on legitimate gripes with burners that you have to invent reasons to not like them? i’m not into burning man either but this is some childish shit.

What a small mind you must have to try and broadly paint 68,000 people as goons or druggies. At least SF only has to deal with the burners once a year versus reading your pathetic excuse for a story year round. You represent everything that is NOT San Francisco, do us all a favor and move to a place full of closed minded people who share your lack of brain cells, can I suggest Fox News?

It’s pretty easy to avoid Uptown Almanac and its lack of brain cells. Start ===⇒ Shut Down. There’s also that “X” in the top right corner of your browser. If you hit that, you might be able to represent everything that is San Francisco.

Seriously. Burners are mostly CEOs, tech bros, and senior citizens now.

Jesus… burners are so defensive and humorless these days.

That’s what happens when your identity is too closely intertwined with a party you go to once a year. “I spent six months melting lighters to bond with my bike frame. I call it Lighter Bike. Which is ironic, because the lighters make it heavier. Thanks to BM, I get to call myself an ‘artist.’”

This is in my top 5 favorite blog captions of all time. I’ve never seen 68,000 people broadly painted so accurately.


Wait, aren’t SF’s streets normally covered in dildos?

Figuratively, yes, always

Oh good. You all made it back.

The purple one’s mine. Sorry about that.

Those of you who have been, know.
Those of you who haven’t been,don’t know.
It’s ok though,
because we are all fully capable of loving one another
and laughing at one another.

Love you all!