It's hard to get worked up over Best Of lists, the yearly prize dished out by alt-weeklies to whomever advertises the heaviest in the paper. Really, they're just corrupt BuzzFeed listicles for a bygone era. However, sometimes they are so unjustly—so tastelessly—awarded that it blows away my already low expectations.
Take SF Weekly's pick for the “Best Gut-Busting Lunch” of 2013:
American Grilled Cheese's Mac N Cheese Grilled Cheese
There's comfort food, and then there's a vortex of comfort food inside more comfort food. A grilled cheese sandwich made with macaroni-and-cheese might be the very manifestation of a San Francisco foodie's id. Gooey, crunchy, and guaranteed to ruin your appetite for the remainder of the day, the sandwich has a simplicity that proves that all that umami nonsense is just a distraction from living out your inner 6-year-old's dream — and all for only $8. How has no one thought of this before? Should you chow down at the Mission location once occupied by Café Gratitude, you get to say, “I am decadent” as you stuff your face.
Dearest SF Weekly: I know the institutional memory is pretty short at a publication that lays off a sizable chunk of its staff every few years, but someone has thought of grilled mac 'n' cheese sandwiches before. In fact, you awarded top prize in a nearly identical category to them last year. Their name is Bender's and they do, in fact, make the best grilled mac 'n' cheese gut-buster:
But for those who want to take a real starch + dairy challenge, there's the Grilled Mac 'n' Cheese Sandwich, a creamy behemoth that will take you all night to eat. Two hunks of bread separated by several inches of cheese and elbow pasta — as savory and comforting a combination of food elements as has yet been devised by mankind. It goes without saying that a sandwich like that can absorb its fair share of beer. Also: Tots! A photo booth! Bands!
That isn't to say American Grilled Cheese is a worthless restaurant—it isn't. They make a perfectly fine sandwich. But fine isn't the best, is it?