Dolores Park picnickers without a pot to piss in will soon have a pod to piss in. Or something. Anyway, it's called the "pPod" (or, as we prefer to call it, "The Masturbation Station") and city officials hope to include it in next year's renovation of Dolores Park.
The thinking is the European-style pissoir will help curb all the public urination that happens on warm days in the park, when everyone balloons up on warm Tecate and elects to wash down the Muni tracks instead of wait in the 20+ minute bathroom lines.
According to SocketSite, which seems to fancy itself as the number one source for piss press, "The pissoir would have a front and back semi-circle screen consisting of specialized wire fencing covered with vines a three-foot diameter concrete base and a sanitary drain with a fine mesh grate. A user would enter the pissoir from the existing north-south internal pathway and face the interior of the Park." There will also be a one-way drain to prevent it from smelling, poles to prevent the inevitable drunken popping of squatting, and no sink for the hands you weren't going to wash anyway.
Of course, while we're sure most reasonable people think this is a fine development for the park, it seems "plugged in" park neighbors are already voicing their criticisms in SocketSite's comments. As one proclaims, "I live right across the street from this proposed 'pPod' and fear that this will cause a lot more problems down the road with odor, nudity, and the list can go on (none of it is positive). How do we avoid this from getting installed? I want to prevent my neighborhood from becoming like the Tenderloin." Or, as another puts it, "The very idea of a pissoir seems sexist."
Given the mounting opposition, we're sure it'll be another 18-36 months of lengthy community meetings before this titular homage to Steve Jobs is installed.